| rdfs:comment | - Colonel Sassacre is a famous humorist, and the author of Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery. His wife is legendary pastry Baroness Betty Crocker, who owns the company of the same name. His dog, Halley, is the genetic template from which Becquerel is created. Colonel Sassacre's life follows that of his real-life counterpart, Mark Twain. Mark Twain died on April 21, 1910, following the perihelion of Halley's Comet. The Colonel died the same day, and when a meteor hit the dog house of his dog, Halley.
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| abstract | - Colonel Sassacre is a famous humorist, and the author of Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery. His wife is legendary pastry Baroness Betty Crocker, who owns the company of the same name. His dog, Halley, is the genetic template from which Becquerel is created. He happens to be Nanna's adoptive grandfather, rescuing her from a meteor that hit his wife's bakery on April 13, 1910. Eight days later, on April 21, another meteor hit Halley's doghouse. When the Colonel went to investigate, he was accidentally killed by an infant Grandpa dual-mishandling flintlock pistols. Nanna and Grandpa then grew up under the wicked pastry baroness's care as siblings, until they were 13, when Grandpa developed a taste for adventure and departed with Halley. His life in the post-scratch universe was similar, still marrying Betty Crocker and owning the dog Halley. The change was the result of Nanna being replaced with Poppop and Grandpa being replaced with Grandma. Since neither Poppop nor Grandma were sent to Earth with dual flintlock pistols, it is unknown how Colonel Sassacre died in the post-scratch universe. It is hinted at by Jane how he could have died in a conversation with Dirk where she says The Crockers have something of a legacy when it comes to losing forebears in mysterious explosions. However, it is known that his stuffed corpse was kept in the living room while Poppop and Grandma grew up, as was family tradition. Colonel Sassacre's life follows that of his real-life counterpart, Mark Twain. Mark Twain died on April 21, 1910, following the perihelion of Halley's Comet. The Colonel died the same day, and when a meteor hit the dog house of his dog, Halley. The Hilarocause, a holocaust to destroy humanity started by The Condesce via the hands of the Insane Clown Posse, can be seen as a play on his name as it also is a combination of "humor" and "mass killing".
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