| abstract | - AUTHOR'S NOTE: I decided to switch things around a little. Presenting a story about Candace and Jeremy, not Phineas and Isabella! :D American che{fame} 23:01, April 20, 2010 (UTC) I wake up this morning hearing the Paisley Sideburn Brothers mixed in with the World's Most Annoying Brothers. As in, a famous band and Phineas and Ferb. I hit snooze, shove my pillow over my ears, and try to ignore my brothers, doing who knows what in their room. I can't wait to see them off this morning, they're going to a convention of some sort. Losers. Meanwhile, I, the lovely Candace Flynn, will be spending the day with Stacy, Jeremy and Coltrane. I resign myself to the fact that I pretty much can't sleep any longer with my brothers raising such a racket next door. Getting up, I pull on a red blouse and a white skirt, leaving my shoes behind. I sit on my bed and look out the window, excited for the fact that for once in my life I won't be so worried about what my brothers are doing. I mean, how much trouble can you get into at a convention? Don't answer that. "Good morning, Candace," my mother says, pushing a plate of eggs and bacon toward me as I enter the kitchen. She looks really relieved-- probably glad that I won't be running up the phone bill with my complaints about Phineas and Ferb. "You excited for today?" "You bet!" I say, shoveling down my food. I swallow, push my chair back, and go to put my plate in the sink. "Jeez, Candace," Phineas says, walking in with Ferb, "you inhaled that thing fast." "Shuddup, my eating habits aren't a worry of yours." "Candace." "Yes, Mom. Love ya, bye!" I say as I walk out the front door. I see Stacy coming up the path and she falls into step beside me as we walk towards Jeremy's house. "What's up?" she asks. "You promise not to be so anxious about your brothers?" "Anxious, my foot. They're going to some sort of convention-y thingy," I say. Stacy breathes a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. You don't want to be that jumpy around Jeremy, you know," she advises me as the Johnsons' mailbox comes into view. "Boys don't like that." I swallow and ring the doorbell. Jeremy's mother answers the door, to my immense relief. "Hello, Candace," she says. "Hi, Stacy." "Hi, Mrs. Johnson," we chorus. She turns her head back into the house and calls, "Jeremy, your friends are here!" Jeremy and Coltrane appear in the doorway and walk out of the house. "Bye, Mom." "Bye, dearie," says Mrs. Johnson. "Have a nice time." Jeremy buries his face in his palm, his golden hair spilling over the edges of his hand. "I always tell her not to call me dearie." "I bet my mom's worse," Coltrane says. "You sure you wanna bet that?" asks Jeremy, and we all laugh. Jeremy looks extra nice when he's smiling. We near the Googleplex Mall, and I see the food court come in view. "Let's get some food," Stacy says. "I'm starved." "Me too," I chime in. "You guys up for it?" "Sure," the guys say in unison. "Boys and their food," I mouth to Stacy, who giggles slightly. She sets her tray on a table and we follow suit. We're just tucking in to our food when this pretty girl walks up. She's got straight light brown hair and green eyes and apparently knows Jeremy. "Hi, Jeremy!" she chirps, her eyes sparkling. "Hey," Jeremy says, greeting her with a smile and drawing up a chair. "Come sit." To the rest of the table, he says, "Guys, this is my neighbor, Shae." "Hi, Shae, I'm Candace," I say, smiling at her on the outside. On the inside, my high alert has turned on, looking for any signs of Jeremy-and-Shae. "This is Stacy and Coltrane," Jeremy says, pointing at each in turn. They both wave. "So what's new?" Jeremy asks Shae. "I haven't seen you in ages. It's like you fell off the face of the planet or something." Shae laughs, and I notice her laugh is soft and prettier than mine, which lately has been a maniacal cackle of sorts. "Oh, no," she says, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, "I've just been busy." "With what?" Stacy asks. Shae reaches into her bag and pulls out a magazine. On the cover is no one other than Shae herself, posing with a small dog. "International fame." I perk up. "As what?" I ask. "A singer-slash-voice actress," she says, opening up the magazine and smelling a perfume sample. "Ugh." "So you're famous... where?" Coltrane asks. "Oh, generally in the England area," Shae says, waving her hand slightly as though to say, Isn't everyone an internationally famous pop star? "But I've spread a little towards Ireland, France, and Spain." "You must be pretty multilingual, then," Stacy says, looking really interested. "Not really. I can't remember languages to save my life. I do know that 'the deer has no food' in Spanish is 'el ciervo no tiene la cabeza'." I pipe up, "Actually, that means 'the deer has no head' in Spanish." Shae whacks her forehead. "See?" "Seriously, guys, enough about me. I know it sounds full of myself, but I want to hear about you and your friends, Jeremy." She waits. "We're-- we're not that interesting," I stammer. My mind is racing. An international pop star? I can't believe this! I don't know whether to think that it's a hoax or if she's legit. "Then I'll make you interesting." She pulls out a cellphone and starts texting someone. "Who are you texting?" I ask. "Oh, my agent," she replies, still tapping in a message. "Seeing if he can grab a gig here at the mall." Apparently her agent can get a gig, because next thing I know, I'm backstage on a makeshift stage, quivering with excitement. She is the real deal! Which is good and bad. Good news equals new pop star buddy. Bad news equals new pop star buddy who's interested in Jeremy. I know because they've been really friendly to each other, helping set up the stage together, while I've been third-wheeling Coltrane and Stacy. Which is horrible, because now I'm Candace, the fifth wheel that can't fit in with Shae and Jeremy or Stacy and Coltrane. Just my luck. Anyways, I am all pumped for going out there and singing when all of a sudden, they call Shae's name to go up on the makeshift stage. The crowd roars with excitement, and she turns to Jeremy. "Oh, Jeremy, I've got to go on now!" she chirps, and then leans in to kiss him on the lips. Seriously! Right in front of me! I'm too shocked to speak for a moment, and Jeremy must see the shock on my face because he says, "Something wrong, Candace?" "Something wrong?" I say quietly. "Something wrong? I thought you liked me, Jeremy. But you always mess me around. And I'm sick of it, okay? One moment, you act like you're my boyfriend. Next, you're with Shae." Jeremy doesn't get my shock and goes to explain. "Candace, she's been living in different countries for quite a while, and she's picked up customs as well as a British accent she most certainly didn't have before. One of the customs over there is to kiss your friends. We're just friends, Candace, I promise." Just then, a squat man in a gray suit runs in. "Oh, no, it's horrible!" "Are you Shae's agent?" I ask. "Yes," he pants, "and she's lost her voice up there on stage! We need someone to go on in place of her." I take Jeremy by the hand and lead him onstage as a voice in the background booms, "Please welcome Candace Flynn and Jeremy Johnson, the substitute act for Shae!" "Come on," I say, then begin singing. "Slow down and look around you, "Throw your to-do list away! "Because the clouds look like sheep and vice versa, "On our do nothing day..." Jeremy shares the microphone with me as we end the song. "Our do nothing daaaaaaaay..." The crowd cheers. They liked me! They really liked me! I look at Jeremy. "Wow," I say. "So much for a do nothing day." "Yeah," he says, "I guess so." We share a kiss right there on stage, and behind my eyelids I see a million tourist's cameras go off. And for once, I, Candace Flynn, had a good ending.
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