| rdfs:comment | - Arcadius (Flaccidus Arcadius Pinball Wizardus Augustus ), Roman Emperor 395-408, Maximus Scorus 36, Braggadium Dexterus, eldest son of Theodosius the Great, holder of the Golden Lavatory Key and other titles with pension rights attached is usually also counted as the first Byzantine ruler in Constantinople. Weak of chin, long of dribble and with the strong political convictions of a soft pillow, Emperor Arcadius lolled on the imperial throne for an unremarkable 13 years.
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| abstract | - Arcadius (Flaccidus Arcadius Pinball Wizardus Augustus ), Roman Emperor 395-408, Maximus Scorus 36, Braggadium Dexterus, eldest son of Theodosius the Great, holder of the Golden Lavatory Key and other titles with pension rights attached is usually also counted as the first Byzantine ruler in Constantinople. Weak of chin, long of dribble and with the strong political convictions of a soft pillow, Emperor Arcadius lolled on the imperial throne for an unremarkable 13 years. With no known abilities except to hang around amusement arcades (hence his name), Arcadius got the better end of the deal when his father Theodosius chose to divide up the Roman Empire between his two sons. His younger brother - the even more useless Honorius - got the Western Roman Empire and residency rights in Rome, Milan and Ravenna. Theodosius appears to have been aware that neither of his boys would cut the military mustard and had arranged for his generals Stilicho (always described as a 'half vandal' by contemporary Roman historians) and Rufinus 'Roughstuffus', a big smelly Gaul to stand behind them and twist their ears if they got out of line.
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