| rdfs:comment | - It is rumored John Ro Haikai Banzai Samurai Myung was born in January 24, 1872 in a small city in Korea called Tokyo. His nationality is yet to be discovered, for nobody could ever tell it from the language he spoke because he has apparently never done so, but people can definitely tell he might be Black. He had a turbulent childhood, with his home village being constantly attacked by Godzillas, Flying Spaghetti Monsters and Giant-sized Kelly Clarkson. In one of those attacks, he lost his parents which were eaten by a Canadian hockey player named James LaBrie. By that time, he was still the age of 2, thus forcing his elder brother Nhoj Ro Haikai Banzai Myung to take care of him. Unfortunately, Nhoj had a psychological disease which made him mistake people for strawberry-topping pudding whe
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| abstract | - It is rumored John Ro Haikai Banzai Samurai Myung was born in January 24, 1872 in a small city in Korea called Tokyo. His nationality is yet to be discovered, for nobody could ever tell it from the language he spoke because he has apparently never done so, but people can definitely tell he might be Black. He had a turbulent childhood, with his home village being constantly attacked by Godzillas, Flying Spaghetti Monsters and Giant-sized Kelly Clarkson. In one of those attacks, he lost his parents which were eaten by a Canadian hockey player named James LaBrie. By that time, he was still the age of 2, thus forcing his elder brother Nhoj Ro Haikai Banzai Myung to take care of him. Unfortunately, Nhoj had a psychological disease which made him mistake people for strawberry-topping pudding whenever he hears a Jewish lady sneeze. When John was 7, his brother attempted to cook him in the oven and John could only escape because Nhoj hesitated for a while when he realized you don't cook pudding. Then John ran away scared until he ran into John Petrucci, accidentally having his first tackle. Petrucci was collecting green herbs for witchcraft in a meadow when Myung met him. That brought a sudden feeling to John Petrucci, who immediately hugged Myung saying with conviction he was the legendary tackler who'd save Earth from the weird banana-wielder leprechaun invasion. He then made the legendary boy aware of his tackle's skill stealing powers, saying that accidental tackle had taken from him his incredible bass guitar skills. That instantly put Myung on Earth's top bassist ranks, at the cost of Petrucci's skills. Petrucci, having lost all his bass guitar training, decided to play the electric guitar instead. Thus was formed the dynamic duo, which would later on meet Lebanese keyboardist Jordan Rudess, have an unexpected reunion with the hockey player/singer James LaBrie who ate Myung's parents, and gave birth to drummer Mike Portnoy. Myung's trajectory has attracted the interest of video game developers, appearing in important titles such as Bass Hero, Super Myung RPG: The Legend of the 7 Bassists, Final Myungstasy XXXIII,The Legend of Zelda (as Link), Super Smash Bros Melee (as a hidden character), and he is officially a Legendary Pokemon. Soon after finishing recording Dream Theater's Gazillionth album "Silver Clouds and Black Linings" (their second concept album and a tribute to the Windows Operating system), a terrible transformation (witnesses tell it has something to do with Venuses strange rays) turned Myung into a Grue and he ate Mike Portnoy. The remaining band members, shocked but not disbelieved, stated that "NOW WE ALL KNOW WHY THAT F*CKER ALWAYS KEPT HIS MOUTH SHUT OVER THE YEARS!!!" Soon after the accident the Myung Grue suffocated from Portnoy's excessive hair and died, autopsy reveled 23.58% hair pressure in Grue's blood system which caused death imminently.
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