| abstract | - Testiclēs' rather large endowments required him to be born via Caesarian section, a technique that he named after-the-fact (because it is hard to hear you speak when you are in the womb). His mother was a common washer-woman named Ovarēs. After developing the term for this new method of giving birth, Testiclēs went on to invent Caesar to provide a reason for the name. The innovation of inventing new material and then creating reasons for it afterward (and only if it catches on) would later become an important part of his philosophic style. It still drives engineering work to create a problem to which a marvelous invention can be the solution. Testiclēs grew rapidly. Fondled as a child, he continued to be poked and prodded before dropping as a result of all the pressure. Finding a new life, he began to teach sexual education at a local special education school. After maturing, he was able to develop his theories and began to formally teach the Testicular method. At one point in Testiclēs' life, he fought a giant squid. He was sucked on with such force that he was nearly swallowed whole. Testiclēs, however, survived this experience and even derived great pleasure from it, emerging a new man. Harassed by the Greek government as a result of his teachings and forced to drink a cup of poison, Testiclēs finally descended.
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