| abstract | - The raping of a clown's tear ducts is required to make the soup and it has become highly controversial in recent years. Mainly because it has been widely reported that clowns are "people too," and actually have feelings, which is completely prepostorous to any intelligent, Western individual, but those gooks will believe anything. It is also named as a primary contributing factor for global warming and late-era Nazi fucking. China's booming economy has resulted in a large increase in demand for fresh Tears of a clown, and this, coupled with the known impotence of clowns and their penchant for crying themselves to sleep after they can't "get it up", has grown the supply of Tears of a clown to levels never seen before in the small Terre Haute suburb called China. However, as a part of Ancient Chinese Medicine, these mystical droplets of sad goodness have known healing capabilities. The Tears of a clown are known to cure the previously thought uncurable disease called Laughalldamuthafuckintimeitis. A serious disease known to deeply effect the lives of the victim and everyone around him by him not shutting the fuck up! I'm serious, dude. People that be laughin all the time bug me. They be like, "Hey! Look at Fonzie! That mutha fucka so funny!" And I be all, "Duuuee! You be, like, laughin all the mutha fuckin time, and shit!" - But I digress. The Tears of a clown have been known to make even the most laugh-happy person a sobbing, blubbering mess. They have also been know to cure extreme cases of impotence (known as limpodick) and even more extreme cases of being way too extreme (known as mountaindewitis).
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