| abstract | - RAGBRAI is the yearly bicycular trek across the state of Iowa. Iowa was chosen because, like the other states of the Midwest it is completely flat, having no hills is ideal for anyone on a bike. Except for the hole of a town that is Sioux City. (If you think Iowa is flat, you ain't seen my doctor, buster! - She has major hills. You also ain't seen Iowa's east coast or west coast. It ain't flat there either!) RAGBRAI is a major fundraiser for churches and communities who want to raise funds. RAGBRAIers fuel their bikes by inhaling large quantities of food and beer. One of the most popular foods amongst RAGBRAIers is the pork chop. The appropriate cut of pork chop is the Iowa Chop, so named because it is a chop and it is served in Iowa. The most appropriate way to serve the Iowa Chop is on a stick. The most appropriate way to serve any food in Iowa is on a stick. See the Iowa State Fair for the best foods on a stick. Deep Fried Twinkie on a Stick, Egg on a Stick, Deep Fried (almost any kind of candy bar) on a Stick, Chocolate Covered Bacon on a Stick, Dutch Letters on a Stick . . . Iowa State Fair has also been known for having Map on a Stick, City on a Stick, Eraser on a Stick, Quilt Block on a Stick. . . It must be noted that after consuming large numbers of Iowa Chops on a Stick and consuming large quantities of beer, that RAGRBRAIers must use large numbers of toilets. When the big ride began, a certain brand of portable toilets was in use on the ride. Later that brand was purchased by another company, but a toilet on the ride continue to be called a kybo. It doesn't matter where the toilet is, it is still called a kybo. During RAGBRAI every corn field becomes a kybo. Therefore, during RAGBRAI Iowa is the world's biggest toilet. Ragbrai is sponsored by a major newspaper in the mislocated city of Des Moines. A radio station in the mislocated city of Des Moines sponsors a tractor ride, but it doesn't go as far and the riders use motorized nonvehicles (tractors) with big seats instead of human propelled vehicles with skinny seats. (See the uncyclopedia article about Des Moines for information about Des Moines' mislocation.) Edit - Dart is thrown at a lot of things in Iowa, not just maps. See the Des Moines Register for information about Dart throwing in Iowa. Darts are no longer allowed to make left hand turns in downtown Des Moines. They must honk when making right hand turns.
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