| abstract | - Jay struggled to breathe. She hurt. Her ribs were all achy and sore as she lay on the wet grass. They had travelled for days and she had managed fine. But now as she panted in the fresh morning’s air she didn’t know if she could face another day of walking. Closing her eyes, she lay her head down on the dewy grass and tried to relax. Her breathing sounded rough and ragged but better than it had been when she had woken up. It was slightly worrying. If she died again would she be able to come back? If she died again and it wasn’t her time would she be stuck in the Moonpool clearing, not alive but not quite dead until it was her time? Jay bit her lip and tasted blood. It was scary. She tried to let the wet grass and the birds singing soothe her but it didn’t work. She was just as anxious as before. Giving up completely in resting, Jay got to her paws. She could smell water up ahead and began to walk towards it. It would have been quite nice to go on an early morning walk if she didn’t hurt so much. Her paws sank into the wet mud and she jumped back a couple of paces. She had walked straight into the pond. Jay crouched down beside it and began to lap up the fresh water. It tasted lovely and soothed her scratchy throat. When she had drunk her fill, she sat back up and waded into the pond. It was quite deep and came up to her neck but it was surprisingly nice. She supposed some cat like Willowheart would have found it terrifying. After all her son, Starkit had drowned. But to Jay it just felt nice. It was cool but not too cold and the best part was that it was just once smell. It wasn’t a muddle of different smells. It was just one. That made it peaceful and not confusing or panicked. After a while of just walking, Jay began to actually swim. At first it was just in small circles but soon she was swimming around the pond. When she began to tire though, she got straight out. She didn’t want to get too out of breath again. Jay lay down beside the water, letting her tail skim over it. Her eyelids slowly began to droop and she fell asleep to the sounds of birds singing and water lapping her tail. “Hey,” came a familiar lazy drawl. “She’s here.” Jay felt the fur on the back of her neck prickle. Her breathing became even more ragged – if possible. But it wasn’t until a nose sniffed her side that she realized that it hadn’t been a lazy drawl. It had been anxious. Blackshadow had been worried about her. Jay felt a strange desire to laugh. That just sounded stupid. Blackshadow never worried about anyone. He hadn’t worried when his sister Inkpool had cut herself badly and was losing lots of blood. He hadn’t worried when his mother Icepool had badly twisted her paw. Why would he worry now? “Of thank StarClan,” came another voice. “I thought something terrible had happened.” Jay gulped in air and tried to recognize the voices. “Well, I don’t know,” mewed another she-cat. “She seems really out of breath.” That was Rowanberry’s voice. She could recognize that voice easily. The other she-cat must be Seedwhisker. Jay panted. It felt as if some cat was squeezing her sides together. Maybe even like some cat was pushing her head under water. “I’m... Fine...” Jay wheezed, forcing herself to sit up. She could imagine Seedwhisker narrowing her eyes and Rowanberry twitching her ears. But she imagine Blackshadow the best. He had stopped pacing and was now staring at her with such... Concern? Jay blinked. She could feel his amber eyes scorching her. “Are you sure?” Rowanberry asked uncertainly. “I mean you look...” “Soaked for a start,” Blackshadow continued. “What, you thought you’d just take a dip? You could have frozen!” Jay snorted. “Frozen?” she scoffed. “It’s still green-leaf you know.” Her fur was on end now, her blue eyes narrowed to glaring slits. Blackshadow couldn’t tell her what to do. “It’s getting cold quickly,” he snapped. Jay knew she had won. Her tail curled triumphantly and she struggled to her paws. “Come on Jay,” Seedwhisker meowed. “We have to get back to the clearing.” Jay flicked her ears. “Why aren’t we going any further?” she asked. It seemed stupid to hang around here. It was so open. She felt as if she could be seen from miles away. “Appleseed has had her kits,” Seedwhisker replied, her tail tip flicking anxiously. Jay knew exactly what she was thinking without asking. The pale tabby leader didn’t think Appleseed’s kittens would survive. But Jay thought differently. Appleseed was a strong cat and Tigerstripe had been too but he had died during the battle against The Dark Forest. “That’s great!” Jay exclaimed. She turned away from the three warriors and began to pad back to camp. She wasn’t out of breath anymore. She hadn’t noticed when it had happened; all she knew was that her ribs didn’t feel squeezed anymore. Jay quickened her pace as she heard paw steps behind her. She didn’t really want to talk to Seedwhisker, Rowanberry and definitely not Blackshadow. She wanted to talk to Hollyfrost and Bolta. Back by the lake Jay, Hollyfrost and Bolta had found that they had powers like no other cats had ever had. Jay could control the wind. Hollyfrost could control fire – well kind of. Bolta could control water. They were also part of a prophecy; three will come again; the bright-eyed Jay, the prickly Holly and the brave Bolta. They were supposedly the only three cats who could destroy The Dark Forest. Jay approached Bolta who was sitting beside Larkkit and Marshkit, two of Flora’s kits. “Hi,” she mewed, sitting down next to them. Larkkit looked up. Jay could feel her soft golden gaze scanning her. Larkkit was special, Jay had found. She could remember things from when she had been just a tiny kit and had excellent knowledge on herbs. “Hello,” Larkkit mewed softly. “Hey,” mowed Bolta lazily, turning around to face her. Jay stared at the place where she thought Bolta’s eyes where. “What are Appleseed’s kits called?” she asked. She obviously couldn’t speak of the prophecy in front of Larkkit and Marshkit. Bolta shrugged but Larkkit purred softly. “Bluepaw let me see them being born,” she mewed. “Appleseed had a tom and a she-cat. They’re called Rainkit and Tigerkit.” Jay’s ear twitched. “Bluepaw let you?” she asked. “But I thought Flightfeather was you’re medicine cat?” Larkkit shook her head sadly. “Flightfeather is sick,” she meowed. “She says she wants to go and join the elders.” Jay gasped. “But that’s terrible!” she cried. “Do you think she will make the journey?” Larkkit hesitated. No. Jay knew what the small she-cat was thinking. Larkkit looked up at Jay again. “Flightfeather is an old cat,” she meowed. “She’s older than all of the elders. And she’s been getting a bit... Forgetful lately.” Jay knew she meant crazy. Not crazy like she was. Not hearing voices crazy. Larkkit meant insane, dangerous and maybe even scary. You’re not crazy. Bolta, Hollyfrost and Bramble can hear us too. (“Who’s Bramble?”) Sorry. You haven’t met him yet. (“What are you talking about, Ellie?”) It doesn’t matter. Jay jumped out of her thoughts. Her attention turned to Marshkit. He had sat in silence the whole time she had been there. He was a pale grey tabby tom. Jay had imagined him with green eyes but she couldn’t be sure. “What have you been doing, Marshkit?” she asked, trying to be friendly. Marshkit appeared not to have heard and continued staring into the distance. Jay tilted her head to one side. There was something not quite right about the little tom. His thoughts were a hazy blur. “He’s deaf,” Larkkit whispered in Jay’s ear. “But he doesn’t want any cat to know.” Jay knew how that felt. She felt sorry for the little tom cat. “I’m blind,” she whispered back to Larkkit. “How do I tell him that?” Jay felt Larkkit’s golden gaze on her fur a few heart-beats. Then she turned to Marshkit. Larkkit approached him slowly and tapped him with a paw. Jay watched the place where she knew they were. Marshkit turned his head. Jay imagined Larkkit beckoning with her tail and using sign language that she couldn’t see. “You’re blind?” Jay could barely understand him. Marshkit’s voice was as scratchy and dry as sand and he spoke so fast that the words flowed together. “I’m deaf.” Jay approached him slowly and carefully. “I promise I won’t tell anyone,” she meowed. Larkkit flicked her tail wildly. “S’okay,” Marshkit meowed. “You can tell.” Jay purred then turned back to Bolta. But her scent was faint now. Bolta left when you told Larkkit that you are blind. Jay nodded and smelt the air. Bolta was sitting beside Hollyfrost. Good, thought Jay. Now I can finally talk to them. Jay was about to pad over them to them when three things happened very fast and at the same time. First Jay could scent a scent she knew very well. A dog’s scent. A very hungry dog’s scent. “Flightfeather!” Jay whipped around at the sound of Bluepaw’s shriek. “Flightfeather’s dead!” “Hey!” came another cry. “It’s getting all dark!”
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