| abstract | - "What will we do about him?" The wispy haired man had called for Council yet again. "Our troops were defeated, but we cannot avoid taking action against this man." "We'll keep an eye on him..." The wispy haired man replied, sighing heavily. "For now, it's time to turn our sights to our true goal..." By now, the sun was rising. Had anyone passed by, they would be greeted with a fairly normal scene. The remains of a camp setting and a few tents around a flickering fire, containing inhabitants who were sleeping. "Zzzzzzzz..." Inside one of the tents, Isshō and Touma were sleeping, Isshō, who was less built than Touma and about a foot shorter, was sleeping directly on top of the man, a peaceful look on his feminine face. Zakura opened his eyes in exaustion. Wait, tents? He didn't remember anything of that sort being constructed. Ah, well. Didn't matter. Stretching his arms, the last Crimson Sovereign yawned. Nudging Yuuki Kaburagi, who was clutching onto his side tightly, Zakura stood to his feet, glancing outside. It seemed as if all was right with the world- which was rather suspicious. Isshō rubbed against Touma in his sleep, apparently having a dream that required movement against a body. "Mmmm..." He was moaning slightly. "Touma...Awai..." He moved his hand upward, and it collided, albeit gently, against Touma's chin. Touma's eyes snapped open, as if like clockwork. "Wait, what the hell?" Really, he didn't expect that; the Shinigami was thoroughly embarrassed, to the point of leaping up, catching Isshou off-guard and running outside to approach Zakura, panicking, "Alright, what the hell happened!?" Zakura sighed, "...You'll get used to it. 'Cides, it's not bad or anything, got that?" Touma scratched his head in exasperation, snapping, "You wanna fight? Come at me, bro." Zakura growled, "And you're calling me an idiot?" Isshō threw a rock at Zakura's head. "Zakuraaaa..." He sounded half asleep but he didn't sound happy. "Don't argue with Touma..." His eyes were barely open and he looked like he wanted to keel back over. His hair, not in it's usual twintails, was frizzled and all over the place. Isshō did not wake up as adorable as he looks during the day. Zakura clicked his tongue in misunderstanding, "O-Oi, he started it. Don't blame me, 'kaaaay?" With that, he crossed his arms as Nika climbed down from the tree besides them, clutching eggs, stating, "Who wants some breakfast~?" "Let me cook!" Isshō slipped back into the tent, booting Touma out. There was a large commotion inside, something that sounded like a clanging, the shrieking of cats, Isshō yelling at something, some demon speak, and the sound of running water in a place where there was no tap. Isshou came back out, almost sparkling, his hair tied normally, his face bright and clean. He kissed Touma, briefly apologizing for kicking him, and took the eggs from Nika. "If you all want meat, go kill it yourself." All the while, Nika turned around, before manifesting a barbeque. In an instant, she materialized a small child in her hands, remarking, "Who wants bacon~?" "What the fuck!?" Isshō immediately swooped upon Nika, taking the child and jumping back. "Are you mad, woman!?"" Yuuki opened his eyes weakly, before stumbling out, answering that question for Nika, "...Gee, ya think?" "Yuuki, take the child, go find the nearest "In The Middle Of Nowhere" foster home, please." Isshō handed her the child. "I don't care what meat you guys want...so long as it's not people. We're not monsters." "Fiiiiiiiiiine~" Nika chimed. "But you're missing out, you idiot~" Isshō whistled as everyone filed out to get, starting a fire and whistling. "I-I-I-I-I love Touma, yes I do." He kept whistling and singing thing over while waiting for everyone to return. The fire wasn't hot enough to cook yet anyway. Touma turned away in embarrassment, as Zakura began to prod him, teasing him while repeating "I-I-I-I-I love Touma, yes I do." in Isshou's tone, causing his scowl to broaden by the moment. As Zakura continued to prod at Touma, Nika danced around him, singing, "Now you feel like number one~/Shining bright for everyone~/Living out your fantasy, the~/Brightest star for all to see~/This is what you've waited for and it's you that they all adore~/Now you feel like number one~/Shining bright for everyone~/Living out your fantasy, the~/Brightest star for all to see~/Now you feel like number one~/Shining bright for everyone~/Living out your fantasy, you're the~/Brightest star there's ever beeeeeeeeeeeeeeen~" Yuuki sighed, "...Alright, no time for this, got it?" He pointed in the right direction. "Stop dicking around, Touma. It's this way, correct?" Touma weakly nodded, as Yuuki continued, "Then, stop wasting time. Let's go, then." Isshō kept singing, idling away time while the fire heated up and everyone was gone. He walked over to the tent, pulling a skillet out from it and began to warm it over the fire. He smiled. He hoped they found good animals to kill, he wanted to make something nice for Touma. As Nika returned to the fireplace, she carried off...another Nika, before hurling them on the fire. "Heeere you go~" Isshō kicked it away. "ANIMALS! Like boars! Not more of you!" "Ohhhhhhh~" Nika sighed, before throwing out a wild boar, well, the remains of it. "Heeere you go~" Eh, same thing. Isshō caught it and cracked it's neck. "That's better." He dropped it to the ground and instantly began to cut it up. He placed the slabs on the skillet with the eggs, leaving several on the grass. He enjoyed the smell of ham. Yuuki was pacing back and forth, muttering, "Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up..." To be honest, Yuuki genuinely thought that he was a much better cook than Isshou- when he wasn't poisoning people. Zakura sighed, "...Yuu-Yuu-" Yuuki glared at him as if he was smoking crack. "...Uhm, I mean, Yuuki, these things take time. So calm yourself." As the smell of pork sizzled, Isshō looked up. "Where's Touma? He gets served first you know." All the while, Zakura and Nika continued to bug the hell out of Touma, causing him to storm off, before approaching Isshou, inquiring, "...And, I'm supposed to assume that that isn't a human being?" Isshō brought him down to his level for a kiss, smiling. "I made sure of it. Unless Nika can transform people into boars." He thought about that for a second. "Let's just pray to whatever god is out there." He handed Touma his portion. "The rest of ya, kill each other over who gets served next." He wasn't joking. "Hihihihihihihihi~" Nika's cacaphonic laugh resounded throughout the air. "Of course I did~" With that, Zakura and Yuuki almost threw up on the spot. Recovering from such a relevation, Yuuki asked, "You know if we have to kill each other, then Nika will get the most, right?" "True..." Isshō frowned. "And I haven't yet bedded with you Zakura, what a waste that would be..." He thought about it. "Ok, Zakura, you come next, then Yuuki, Nika, you're last." "Uhm..." Yuuki stuttered, "I don't think that's a good idea. Then she'll resort to eating one of us. You won't know you're gone until you're half-digested." Truthfully, everyone had a bloody good reason to fear Nika Kazoraem. However, Zakura stepped forward, retrieving breakfast from Isshou and devouring it in the span of a few seconds. Must owe to his love of vinegar. "Yuuki, just come eat." Isshō ordered. "This is my kitchen, and in my kitchen, I'm the Queen." A small smile formed upon Yuuki's face, as well as a cross-shaped intersection of veins on his forehead. "...Hehe." His tone sounded vaguely ominous. "Don't talk out of your ass, Isshou. It's common knowledge, I am the one and only stunning Queen of the Kitchen." Zakura honestly felt like sedating her with rhino tranquilizer, but for some reason, he wished to see sparks fly. Isshō smirked for a moment, his eyes glazing ever slightly as he got up and alked over to Yuuki, leaning in closely. "Those are fighting words you know. Kitchen duty is always mine when I'm around, no one takes my title from me." He had a ladle in his hand. No one knew where it come from, but Isshō knew where he was going to stick it if Yuuki kept up his ludicrous claims. As if discreetly, Yuuki withdrew a sharp-as-a-razor butcher knife from his kimono. Seeing such a thing caused Zakura to shrink back; Nika remarked, "Oho~ That's what she used to cut Gai Nagareboshi up something fierce~" Hearing this, Zakura continued to back back, as Yuuki smirked, "Oh, you're sure? Seems as if I've already won." Yeah, he probably did whenever he wasn't poisoning people's food. Isshō pulled a set of chef's knives from his apron, various sizes. "I think you should reconsider. I don't cut people with anything but my sword, but come at me with those and...well, I'll be flavouring food with a new kind of sauce." Yuuki gritted his teeth in annoyance. "Hah. That's not a knife. This is a knife. Can you really say, that you've cut through flesh with those toys? I doubt it; really." "Want me to test it on you?" Isshō asked, one of the knives glinting threateningly. Someone should be stopping this. In an instant, Nika released a burst of her spiritual energy, knocking Yuuki out. "Well, well~" She swiped her hands together. "That should take care of it~" "Well, she won't be eating I suppose." Isshō shrugged. "Nika, come get your food." Without a care in the world, Nika skipped forward before snatching the plate off Isshou. Giving nobody a chance to see the motions, that devil woman hoofed it down in the span of a few moments. Isshō ate his own portion and decided to save Yuuki some. It wouldn't be fair. "So, how far away from ASOC's headquarters are we anyway? I mean, we nearly got lost in that forest, so it's been about a day, plus the sleep we all had. I think we got sidetracked..." Touma crossed his arms. "...Just about six hours, maybe seven if we walk. So it'd be best if we ran." "Ah." Isshō threw a small rock at Yuuki to wake him up. "That sounds like a real plan. Now, if she wakes up and eats, we can roll." All this while, Nika continued to dance around- all while that occured, Yuuki inexplicably stood to her feet snatching the plate from Isshou. "I've officially come to the conclusion that you are not the best travel companion Nika." Isshō said, as he took the now empty play from Yuuki. He packed all the tents into a bag and stomped the fire. "Everyone ready?" Nika cheerily retorted, "Why, who's to say I'm the real Nika at all~?" Meanwhile, Zakura, Yuuki, and Touma geared up. Isshō yawned. "Let's head out!" "Dyan, I got you!" A young girl came flying down from a tree branch, her skirt billowing, and planting her crotch firmly on the face of a young Shinigami, who never saw it coming. "Dwoh!" As she collided with him, they both hit the ground, and she crawled off his face. "I think I win, right?" Dyan chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. "If it will spare the back of my head, yes, you win. I never saw it coming Ikimoshi." "Excellent!" She smirked. Suddenly, she growled, and turned her attention to a clearing. "Something wrong?" Dyan asked, concerned. "I smell four people!" She looked ready to pounce. "Keep down for a minute." Dyan ordered. "I can feel ungodly power coming from the shorter blonde. Last thing I need is you running off into that." "But they're coming this way!!!" Ikimoshi whined. "I can't just abide by people getting this clo-!" "Be quiet then." Dyan picked her up easily. She was so much smaller than him. He jumped high up into the tree as they looked down. "They're passing by." "Nika, do you know anything about ASOC's general plan?" Isshō asked, curious. "It involves hipsters~ That, and Rick Astley's horrible singing which can open dimensions~" Nika replied in a completely serious tone. "I don't know who she is...but I think she's lost her mind..." Dyan murmured. "All I know is I don't want her anywhere here." Ikimoshi broke free of Dyan's grip, a surprisingly easy feet for her, and let out a feral roar as she leapt at the traveling party, morphing into a white bengal tiger and pinning Isshō to the ground. "Damn it!" Dyan jumped down from the tree, landing on the ground next to Ikimoshi. "Get off her." He sighed, tugging on Ikimoshi's shoulder. She heeded his command, but did not de-morph from tiger form, keeping her eyes locked firmly onto Isshō, Nika, and the rest. Isshō, by the way, was paralyzed with shock. Dyan sighed. "I'm sorry..." He muttered. "She doesn't take strangers well at all, and has a bad habit of attacking people who get too close to where we are." "Well, you should be~" Nika chimed. Meanwhile, The Three Stooges were at an utter loss for words; Zakura mouthing hypocrtically, "Wait, who are these wierdos?" Ikimoshi, at this, immediately reverted back to human form, much to the shock of everyone except Dyan and Nika, so she could snap at Zakura. "Weirdos!?" She hissed. "The blonde one over there is weirder than all of us!" Dyan let out a weak chuckle as he pulled Ikimoshi back. "You just admitted we're weird you know..." Nika puffed her cheeks out, like...a pufferfish. "I ain't wierd, boy~ Just to prove it..." Almost by reflex, she bust out into song. "We're no strangers to love~/You know the rules and so do I~/A full commitment's what's I'm thinking of~/You wouldn't get this from any other guy~/I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling~/Gotta make you understand~/Never gonna give you up~" "....Can I refer you to a shrink?" Dyan asked. The woman was now branded as officially insane in his mind. "I think she proved our point, not hers." Ikimoshi chuckled, trying not to laugh at the woman's idiocy. "Never gonna give you up~/Never gonna let you down~/Never gonna run around and desert you~/Never gonna make you cry~/Never gonna say goodbye~/Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you~/We've know each other for so long~/Your heart's been aching~/But you're too shy to say it~/Inside we both know what's been going on~/We know the game and we're gonna play it~/And if you ask me how I'm feeling~/Don't tell me you're too blind to see~/Never gonna give you up~" All while Nika continued to sing, Zakura applied his palm to his forehead in exasperation while extending his hand, "...Ah, sorry about that. You know what they say. Haters gonna hate. But anyway, I'm Zakura Terui. This is the lovely Yuuki Kaburagi and the ridiculously average Touma Seisou. You are...?" "And what the hell am I, invisible!?" Isshō snapped. "Just wait Zakura, come Christmas, your ass is speared. I'm Isshōmaru Ureshii, by the way." Dyan stood, wide-eyed. Just who were these people? He gained his composure back quickly enough. "I-I'm Dyan Arashi and this is Ikimoshi." He placed a hand on her head and she hugged into him. Yuuki shot Isshou a fearsome glare; though his gaze never left that serene smile. Zakura continued, fully aware that he was the conversation guy, so to speak, "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. What are you doing here, anyway? Just curious; hope I don't offend you." "Playing!" Ikimoshi offered helpfully. "That...pretty much sums it up." Dyan replied, chuckling. "We usually stick to the world of the living, but Ikimoshi wanted to come to the Spirit World. We were relaxing in the forest when you all showed up. Mind if I ask...what is this ASOC you mentioned?" Yuuki answered, "Well, you see..." Nika interrupted, "Never gonna give you up~/Never gonna let you down~/Never gonna run around and desert you~/Never gonna make you cry~/Never gonna say goodbye~/Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you~/Give you up, give you up~/Give you up, give you up~/Never gonna give, Never gonna give, give you up~/Never gonna give, Never gonna give, give you up~/Never gonna give, give you up~/Never gonna give, Never gonna give, give you up~/I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling~/Gotta make you understand~" Yuuki shouted, "Will you stop that?!" Of course, this was futile, but over her cacophonous signing, the Shinigami inquired, "Touma, elaborate?" Touma scratched his head, responding, "Alright, it's..." And thus, a lengthy discussion ensued. Dyan frowned. "Subjugation of everything? They may as well be Human." Ikimoshi looked up from having her face buried in his side, her arms still around them. "Does this concern us?" "It might." Dyan mrmured, thinking. "This is sudden, but would you mind if we accompanied you? While I am sure you all are enough to destroy this 'ASOC', I am now intrigued." Zakura extended his hand as to offer a harmless handshake. "...Alright. Welcome to the group. We put the fun in 'dysfunctional'." "Somehow, I don't doubt that..." Dyan replied Ikimoshi let go of his body but then held his hand in hers. "Out of curiosity..." He gestured at Nika. "How does she function?" Yuuki sighed, "Well, she relishes playing the fool; that's an understatement. ...Anyways," She clapped her hands. "We better get going."
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