| abstract | - Narrator: Late one night, inside the local copy shop…oh man, I hate working nights! Customer: Well thanks, Dave! Beatrice (talking to herself): Dave thinks he’s soooo great! Huh! I should be manager of this copy shop, not Dave! So what if he’s nicer than me? And he gives correct change, and he never once bit a customer on the leg? He doesn’t love the copiers like I love the copiers! That’s right baby, Mommy loves you! (She gently wipes the glass with a rag.) Dave: Hey, Beatrice? Beatrice: Yes, Dave? Beatrice: Oops. Sorry. Clumsy. Dave: Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes! Hey listen, do you mind watching the store for a bit? Beatrice: Uh-- yeah, sure. No-- no problem. Dave: I’m gonna carry Mr. Thompkins’ copies to his car. Customer: Ahh, you don’t have to do that. Dave: Oh no, I insist. Wouldn’t want you to get a paper cut! Customer: Well, thank you Dave. You are the best. Dave: Are you okay, Beatrice? You seem a little upset. Beatrice: Who, me? No. (She accidentally knocks over a display next to her.) Oops! Oh… now, why would I be upset? I love my job here! But I’m-- uh-- mmm-- thanks for asking, Dave! Thanks! Dave: Aw, anytime. Listen, if you ever need to talk about anything, my door is always open. Okay? Beatrice: You bet. Thanks again-- Dave. (cringing) Dave: Okay, great. Back in ten. (He leaves.) Beatrice: Bye! (once he is gone, her mood changes) Ugh! Dave! It really perplexes me how anyone could think he’s a great manager! I should be in charge of this place! Me! Beatrice: Op! Oh, I’m sorry baby. Mommy didn’t mean to hurt you! (notices the button) What’s this? Never seen that button on a copy machine. (reading) “Merge with copier”. That’s odd! Well, I do love pressing buttons! Lady Redundant Woman: I feel… strange. Odd. Weird! Lady Redundant Woman: This could be very useful… and helpful… and beneficial! And I like the outfit! Heh! Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh! Narrator: A few days later, some villains are up to no good in the city. But not to worry-- WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face are-- WordGirl: --On the case! Narrator: You know, I have one job… WordGirl: Sorry, sorry. WordGirl: Don’t worry, Captain Huggy Face! These ruthless criminals won’t get away! Narrator: Wow. What’d they steal? WordGirl: Three couches! Narrator: Yikes! Pretty ruthless. WordGirl: Well actually, they stole one couch, one sofa, and one futon. Narrator: Huh! You’d think just one would do. (WordGirl shrugs.) WordGirl: Oh no! They’re splitting up! Alright, you take the one that went right, and I’ll take the one that went left! (Huggy chatters.) I know, but what can we do? We’ll just have to let that last one go. WordGirl: It’s time to take this couch back to its rightful owner! Or sofa… or futon. Whichever’s in here. (She looks in the driver’s side window, then opens the door.) So why don’t you just-- WordGirl: What? That’s weird. WordGirl: Your driver’s gone too? Hmm… perplexing! WordGirl: Well, at least we got the sofa and the futon back. But how did all three of the villains get away with the couch? And why would someone steal three things that are almost exactly the same? Kind of redundant, if you ask me. WordGirl: What’s that? Narrator: You’ll find out soon enough! Narrator: Later, back at the coffee shop… Beatrice: The couch looks nice, but without the sofa and futon the break room feels unfinished, incomplete, undone! Curse WordGirl for foiling my plan! But-- I did get away. Not every supervillain who battles WordGirl can say that! I have the power to make copies of myself, copies that do whatever I say! (She presses her nose to create a copy.) Tell me I’m a super-evil genius. Duplicate: You are an amazing evil super genius who deserves to be manager! Beatrice: Really? Oh well… thank you! It’s so nice to be recognized for who you really-- I mean, I really am! (laughs) Now… (pressing her nose again) ...goodbye! Beatrice: But now, back to my plan to make this break room the most fabulous, outstanding, top-of-the-line break room in the city! Once I do that, the rest of the employees will realize that I should be their boss, not Dave! Then they’ll run him out of town and make me copy shop manager for… life! Dave: Hey, um, Beatrice? I was gonna run out and buy some pizzas, you know, as a thank you for everyone’s hard work. You like pepperoni, right? Beatrice: Oh, yeah--- s-sure. Uh-- that’s really-- thoughtful. Thanks, Dave. (She has trouble saying anything kind about him, and struggles with the words.) Dave: No… thank you! (Gives her a wink.) Beatrice: (to herself) I should be the one asking you if you like pepperoni pizza, Dave! And for the record, although I enjoy pepperoni, I prefer black olive and green pepper! Not such a great manager now, are ya, Daaaave? Dave: Oh, uh… don’t mean to be a bother, but uh, I seem to remember you saying black olive and green pepper pizza was your favorite. Is that right? Beatrice: Um… that’s right. Dave: Well then, black olive and green pepper it is! (closes the door) Beatrice: Okay! (changes her tone) Touche, Dave! Becky: (to Bob) I still can’t figure out how those villains got away. Violet: Hey, little puppy. Nice bow! (She pat him on the head and his tail wags.) Becky: (still talking to Bob) And I’m still perplexed as to why someone would want to steal three things that are essentially the same thing. It’s so redundant! Becky: Yes, I know I said it before, but that’s because it’s true! Becky: Uh, hey Violet, I need to pop into the copy shop to make copies of my report card. Becky: What? I need one for the fridge, one for Mom’s fridge at the office, and one for my records! Becky: I’m just thorough, that’s all! Violet: No problem, Becks. My mom needs stamps, so I’ll be in to buy some. As soon as I finish petting this doggie. Oh, you’re a good doggie. Yes, you are! You’re so good! You’re good from the inside out! Beatrice: Here you are, ma’am. Customer: Thank you so much! Beatrice: I know you wanted them all on white, but-- I went ahead and made you twenty on white, twenty on eggshell and twenty on ivory. Customer: It doesn’t matter to me. As long as WordGirl sees these flyers, thanking her and her sidekick for returning my valuable sofa and futon! Becky: Well, it’s no big deal really-- (stops herself) I bet that’s exactly what she’ll say! When she sees-- those flyers! I like the eggshell Customer: Hey! What’s the big idea? Beatrice: Just trying to hard to be so nice and-- I am so sick of hearing everyone talk about how WordGirl beat the bad guy, the villain, the rogue! Customer: Well, she is a hero! Dave: Yeah! She’s right. Customer 2: Is there a key to the bathroom? Beatrice: Not so! First of all, the thief got away! Second of all, she didn’t catch me! And third of all, I escaped! Becky: You? Beatrice: Yes! That’s right! Me, myself and I, Beatrice Bixby, am the notorious, villainous, sinister Lady Redundant Woman! (She presses her nose and transforms into her costume.) Violet: Um, excuse me. Do you sell stamps? Lady Redundant Woman: Yeah, there’s a machine over there by the pens. Violet: Thanks! WordGirl: Well, Lady Redundant Woman, the only couch you’ll be sitting on will be behind bars! Lady Redundant Woman: I laugh at your threat! Hee, hee, hee, hee. And I chortle too! Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm! And I chuckle as well! Heh-heh-heh! WordGirl: Geez, you certainly live up to your name! Dave: What do you mean, WordGirl? WordGirl: Well, redundant being needlessly wordy or repetitive. Like saying laugh, chortle and chuckle! She said the same thing in slightly different ways. Customer: Oh! Or like, stealing a couch, a sofa, and a futon! WordGirl: Exactly! Customer: Wow! Now I’m smart! WordGirl: But what still perplexes me is how your two assistants got away the other night. We opened the van, but no one was there! Lady Redundant Woman: Hmm, well, you’re perplexed, you’re confused, you’re bewildered because I alone stole all three of those pieces of furniture. You see, WordGirl, I have superpowers of my own! Watch carefully, pay attention, please observe! Lady Redundant Woman: Impressive, isn’t it? Redundant me’s, attack! WordGirl: We have to split them up! Divide! Separate! Oh, great, now I’m redundant. We have to hold them off! Lady Redundant Woman: So they stopped a few of my copies. Do they actually think they can stop me? WordGirl: Wow! This is getting easier! Lady Redundant Woman: N-no! (She tries making another copy, but it disappears as soon as it appears.) What’s going on? WordGirl: Looks like you’re out of ink! And time! Now, Huggy! Lady Redundant Woman: Let me out of here! Release me! Let me go! WordGirl: She’s all yours, officers! Dave: Don’t worry, Beatrice! I’ll find someone to cover your shift. Lady Redundant Woman: Thanks, Dave. That’s awfully nice of-- (her mood changes) Drat! I’m supposed to be manager of this copy shop! I’m supposed to be in charge! WordGirl: We get it! Narrator: So WordGirl and Captain Huggy Face ward off evil once again! Saving the city, the metropolis, the municipality, the-- WordGirl: Pretty redundant! Narrator: (clearing his throat) Right. Stick to the script. Okay. Tune in next time for another amazing of WordGirl!
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