| Contents | - :Father Sapienza: Yo! God is good, eh? And he expects us to be good. And if you're not, he's gonna come down and bust your freaking skull, amen.
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:Leafer: Patriots suck!
:Peter: [gasps] Blasphemy! [throws "holy water" at the leafer]
:Leafer: Argh! Aggh, it burns! Aajik...
:[cutaway to a lab. A scientist picks up a bottle]
:Scientist: Holy water. Where's that acid that I ordered?
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:Peter: Hey Horace, put the Pats game on the TV and get me a few beers, eh?
:Horace: Sorry, Peter. Someone stole the remotes. And the kegs! And I'm not sure but I think I've been shot. [looks at bullet wound in his stomach] Yep.
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:Bonnie: Wow, you're doing great for your first lesson.
:Lois: I'm really cuttin' loose, just like Julie Andrews in that movie where she showed her breasts.
:[cutaway to Mary Poppins. Focus on Jane and Michael Banks]
:Michael: Oh Mary, you'll never leave us, will you? [Mary unbuttons her top, exposing her chest] Yes, those are lovely, but it doesn't quite answer our question.
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:Peter: Jets suck, Yankees suck, Knicks suck. Krypton sucks.
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:Brian: LEAFEEERRRS!
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:Peter: Come one, come all. She soars like a butterfly and stings like when I pee.
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:Stewie: Why you tottering fem-sucked dewberry! I'm going to find something to strike you with! Excuse me.
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:[Quagmire is looking out the window naked at Lois beating up New Yorkers]
:Quagmire: Oh, that was strangely arousing. [the window slams shut] Ow! [dials a telephone] Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah... Yeah, yeah, it's in the window this time.
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:Peter: And shame on the network that puts this junk on the air!
:Lois: Peter? Peter, maybe you shouldn't say anything bad about the network.
:Peter: Why? What are they gonna do? Cut our budget? I'm gonna go get a beer.
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:Peter: Lois, brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white man's dialog in a Spike Lee movie.
:Black actor: What's up? Can I get two slices of pepperoni?
:White actor: [growling] rowwwwww!
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:Quagmire: Whoa! Transvestite! Back off! Wait a sec, pre-op or post-op?
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