| abstract | - Goldfish crackers are edible crackers designed for little children to bite the heads off of, urinate on, and stomp on vigorously in the middle of the road. The ultimate reason they were created was to stimulate the violence of people and generate their hatred towards the innocent fish, for further encounters with other people and knowledge how to bit heads off. They were first manufactured by Campbell Soup Company, under the Pepperidge Farm brand. Pepperidge Farm is currently a company designed for making food for obese people (Americans) to consume, but they used to work under a branch of the government for a top-secret assignment related to suspicion of a future invasion of a genetically enhanced army of masturbating penguins. This Pepperridge Farm company designed small fish crackers designed to lure penguins into death traps. These crackers were not ordinary, cheesy, crunchy crackers, for they were mutated ordinary, cheesy, crunchy crackers. The crackers were mutated in which they were given special life. They were assigned to find these suspicious penguins and either neuter them, give them an ass rape, force feed them their regurgitation, hump them with the aid of a large, generic object, or simply have vaginal sex with them until the penguins exploded a fiery death. This attack on penguins proved successful for sometime until the government began relaying penguins as an endangered species and began protecting the innocent penguins (who were not innocent, for they really did have plans to invade South America, and still do). The goldfish crackers were called off, but at this point, their mutation had grown to new levels with time, and the Goldfish had a life of their own. They left Antarctica, but did not return to the Pepperidge Farm Buildings in fear of destruction. Instead, under the cover of night, the Goldfish crackers slowly made homes under the beds of small children, planning to carry out their raping attacks on these small life forms instead.
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