| abstract | - Umbrella Johnny towered in the town square. Spafford approached its trunk and looked upward. He nearly fell backwards trying to follow the tree's height with his eyes. To Spafford, Umbrella Johnny was a peculiarity--he was fond of pecularities. Returning his gaze level to the ground he saw villagers heading into a nearby restaurant and bar. The sign above the doorpost read: Pomme du Ciel (Apple of Heaven)'. Spafford's stomach growled. He hadn't eaten breakfast. He decided to stop in to order some food and, hopefully, find out the history of Umbrella Johnny. The Pomme du Ciel's entrance was one large, swinging door. Spafford gently pushed it open and was greeted by a welcoming grin from the bartender. Even though it was early, the restaurant was filled with the buzz of conversation. Spafford's shoes tapped along the wooden floor as he ambled toward the bar. He took a seat on one of the cushioned stools, and the bar keep proceeded with repartee. Ringo: "Good morning to ya stranger. The name's Ringo, I'm the owner of the Pomme du Ciel. I also know how to serve a fine brew and am Yofa's number one bartender! Baha! What would I be able to get for ya?" Spafford: "My name is Gregory Spafford, pleased to meet you, Ringo. This is a very nice establishment you have here and very busy even this early in the day. I guess it's a hint that your chef can make a mean breakfast! I'll take a fried egg sandwich, with cheese and a porkroll. Ringo: "Baha! Good choice! That happens to be one of specials today. Would you like it with potato hash?" Spafford: "That sounds superb." Ringo: "And what do ya want to drink? We've got coffee, juice, milk--you name it!" Spafford: "Say, is that cola in that bottle?" Ringo: "Oh this?" He placed the drink on the counter. "In fact it is cola, but not just any cola. It's made from best tasting apples this island has to offer. It's an apple soda. But you wouldn't want cola this early in the morn--" Spafford: [Taking the bottle] "Excellent I'll just have a one glass." Ringo: "Oh. Alright then, let me just get ya a gla--" Spafford: [Quickly finishing the bottle and victoriously slamming it on the table] "Ah~! That hit the spot!" Ringo: [Shocked] "BAWA! YOU DRANK THE WHOLE THING!" Spafford: "Aye, it's quite good. You say it was made from apples? I've never had an apple that sweet before." Ringo: [Immediately regaining composure] "I told it was the best, didn't I? Baha! We in Yofa don't quite know why the apple trees produce such rich tasting fruit. There are many explanations: the soil is of perfect composition, the weather is just right, the best farmers live here, or even that it's just luck that'll eventually run out. But I tell ya, I don't think any of those are the real reason why we're so blessed." Spafford: "Would this real reason by any chance be connected to that giant tree in the center of town?" Ringo: "Ya must mean Umbrella Johnny. Yeah, ya got it right. I'm an old timer like ya'self, Spafford. I've been living in Yofa for a long time. The other geezers in town would all agree, too. Before Umbrella Johnny began to sprout, the apple trees around here were spectacularly ordinary. There were barely as many trees in the town then as there are today. In fact, only one man tried to make a business of growing and selling apples. It was a drastic turn of events that changed everything. But I don't want to bother ya with that story as ya enjoy ya meal." Spafford: "I don't mind, please continue. Ever since I passed by Umbrella Johnny the other day when a dock hand named George took me to his house I've been curious about it. Anyone can see that that tree is peculiar." Ringo: "Did ya say a dock hand named George took ya in for the evening?" Spafford: "Aye. I did." Ringo: "George hasn't interacted with anyone for an extended period of time in years. And yet he let ya... Hmm. I'll tell ya the story, Spafford. It may be a lot for ya, and for more reasons than just explaining to ya the peculiarities of that tree." Waitress: [to Spafford] "Excuse me sir, would you like to sample one of Pomme du Ciel's heavenly cinnamon rolls? Spafford: "A platter of cinnamon rolls? I'll just take one." Waitress: "Ok, sir. Let me just get that for yo--" Spafford: "Mmm~! That was delicious indeed." Waitress, Ringo, and Restaurant Guests: [Shocked and slightly peeved] "EH?! YOU ATE THEM ALL AT ONCE!" After another round of cinnamon rolls were offered to the guests, Spafford had been poured a glass of water on the rocks. Ringo disclosed the entire history of Umbrella Johnny to him, and how all of it related to George. By the time he concluded, Spafford's glass was filled at the bottom with the remains of melted ice. Ringo: "So ya see, Spafford, that's why George lives outside of town." Spafford: "Ah. Things make much more sense now. I had wondered what it was that would drive a man to the edge of such a warm-natured town as this." Bons: [sniffing the air a few times] "I hoped you saved some cinnamon rolls for me, old man! Otherwise, the man worth File:Bsymbol.gif70,000,000 will have to turn this reunion into a funeral. Ehihihihihi!" The Pomme du Ciel's atmosphere had dramatically shifted. The friendly air of chit-chat froze with tension. All eyes were fixed on the brackish guest with his equally distateful entourage. Ringo and the pirate captain deadlocked in a stare. The captain's eyes were taut with ferocity and malice; Ringo's quavered in fear. Quietly laughing through his evil grin the pirate approached the bar, making a very clear gesture of grabbing the pistol on his belt so that everyone would notice. The intimidation was working. One could only hear the sound of the crew's snickering and the footsteps of their captain as he motioned toward the bar. When he was face to face with Ringo he gracelessly slumped into the bar stool next to Spafford, irreverent of his presence. All this time Spafford had been quietly finishing the little remains of egg sandwich that sat on his plate. This small task he accomplished unwavered by the interloper's ubiquitous influence. Bons: [looking at his gun] "How long has it been...," [pausing and shifting his glare] "Ringo?" Ringo: [swallowing deeply] "W-Why, it must be at least 5 and a half years by my count. Isn't that right, B--" Bons: [slamming his free hand, open-palmed, on the bar counter; yelling] "PLEASE!" [decreasing in intensity] "Address me as I deserve to be addressed. I'm the Captain-Worth-70-Million. You and everyone else in this dirt town will do wise to call me such." Ringo: "How'd a man like you come to get such a bounty, I wonder?" Bons: "Let's just say I know how to raze the bar. Right men?! Ehihi!" Various Crew Members: "Got that right Cap'n!" "You shoulda seen the tip he left at the last place!" "The last village was fuming by the time we left!" Bons: "Oi, oi! What's with that look, Ringo? That's not the expression you're supposed to have when serving guests, is it?" [firmly gripping his pistol, then aiming at Ringo] "Especially when you're serving the Captain-Worth--" Spafford: "Grace and peace to you, friend. Why don't you have your crew sit down and enjoy the festivities of this beautiful morning? You should order the porkroll, it's quite good." Bons: [as if he were coming to his senses] "Y-yes. That does sound like a good suggestion." [realizing he is still pointing a gun at Ringo] "Oh my! I'm sorry, Ringo. Didn't mean to frighten you there. I must've got a little, too caught up with the pirating bit for a second." Crew Members: "Cap-tain...?" "Oi, Captain, you alright?" "This ain't like ya, Captain." Bons: "Ah yes! Let's go find a spot to sit men. Try to be as little a disturbance to the other patrons as you can. I'm sure a waitress will be right out to take our orders." Spafford: "You may want to serve him now. You'll find he's a bit more pleasant to deal with now. Thank you for the story and the meal, but I have to get going. I'm leaving my money on the counter. Please be well and be safe." Ringo: [calling after Spafford] "W-wait! What did ya do?" Spafford: "You'd be surprised at the unrivaled power hidden in a few kind words. Blessings, Ringo." Bons: "Oi, Ringo! My crew and I are ready when you are!" Ringo: [snapping back to reality] "Buwa!? R-right! What can I get for ya lot?" More to come!
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