| abstract | - The history of Sweden is a history full of glorious atrocities and bloody kings; or perhaps it is the other way around. It is the number one most secular country in the world (only Iceland actually has a higher percentage of secular humanists, atheists and agnostics), and this fact has thoroughly affected the course of history. A popular theory during the nineteenth century was that Sweden didn't come into existence until 1827. Most modern-day historians think that Sweden was specifically created by the Pope during World War II in order to be secretly allied with the Nazis. However, most Swedes live under the impression that Sweden has a long history. This long timeline of theirs is an invention by Elias Lönnrot, "the Tolkien of the North" famous for his three semi-erotic dark fantasy/steampunk novels based on Scandinavian "collective" mythology (Forbidden Love in Kalevala: A Story of Aino and Väinämöinen, Without Brass Underwear in Valhalla and Dude, where's my Magic Mill that Produces an Eternal Stream of Golden Coins?), who interestingly was a Swede living during the nineteenth century. This article on Swedish history describes Swedish history as Lönnrot would've wanted it.
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