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| rdfs:label | - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hearing voices
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| rdfs:comment | - More approachable article Inept paladin (talk) 23:59, January 22, 2015 (UTC) {{Review_request|23:59, January 22, 2015 (UTC)}}
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| dcterms:subject | |
| Mcomment | |
| Pcomment | - Again, see what I wrote in the Concept section above about having a consistent tone. There's also a few minor spelling and grammar issues throughout the article, although overall it is pretty good quality.
One problem area you may want to focus on is the set of "three most established forms of lapsing into madness via hearing voices" in the intro. You should make the individual headers here stand out more, perhaps with a bulleted list or bold formatting. The first item itself is also a bit too lengthy for my tastes:
Break this run-on down into smaller sentences for better readability, if possible.
One last note: try to avoid using simple links with autocomplete to other articles, where you end up with something randomly capitalized in the middle of a sentence. For example, Hallucinations should look like hallucinations since you didn't start the sentence with it, and there's no reason for the "H" to be uppercase. It's a minor issue, but when it occurs it is distracting.
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| Icomment | - The images are good, particularly the last one. No criticism here.
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| Pscore | |
| Ccomment | - The concept is a little inconsistent at times. The main theme I see here is the standard encyclopedic tone, while at other times you write as though you're the one hearing voices, and then you have a whole section asking the reader to find out if they're hearing voices. You have three distinct strategies here; pick one and stick with it .
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| Cscore | |
| Hcomment | - The overall humor is pretty good. The "knifing them and knifing them and knifing them" bit and the questionnaire were my favorites. But consider rewriting or cutting out your "Ongoing research" section: it's just one sentence where the joke falls completely flat. Try expanding it with something else about the research to be done, for example.
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| Iscore | |
| Hscore | |
| Fcomment | - A very promising article that just needs to be tightened up and cleaned a little bit. Keep at it! You're off to a good start.
Note: this is my first-ever Pee Review. Feel free to let me know how useful it was on my talk page.
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| Signature | |
| abstract | - More approachable article Inept paladin (talk) 23:59, January 22, 2015 (UTC) {{Review_request|23:59, January 22, 2015 (UTC)}}
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