| abstract | - Strictly speaking religion is the act of shoving your head up the arsehole of a guy called "god”. This strange behavior is the result of a mental affliction resulting from inflammation and partial destruction of the brain. The infection is caused by the class VI virus called faith. Organized religion, more commonly known as child abuse, is like organized crime; although it has several key differences:
* It generally involves a lot more killing.
* It generally involves a lot more crime.
* When religious people carry out the same immoral activities that gangsters do, they like to believe that what they are doing is the highest ideal.
* In most countries religion is legitimate and in many countries, developed and undeveloped, it is actively encouraged and supported. This article will discuss the forever-changing view of who or what "god" is and the delightful effects of organized religion upon mankind. God is generally a nice guy, but he can be a bit of a grumpy guts. When god is in a grumpy mood he can do such things as flooding the entire planet in an attempt to exterminate the human race. In the 4500 years since that took place (about 1500 years after creation) the world population has risen from one family (the only survivors of the flood) to around 6.5 billion people. God's Pro-Life followers on Earth kill doctors and young women who have been raped several days prior "out of love for the children," to quote Michael Bray. The all-knowing, all-loving god of the universe is responsible for all natural disasters, wars, horrific infectious diseases and Republicans on planet Earth. He creates homosexuals so they can be one of many flash points of hatred and ridicule for his followers on Earth, in case they get bored with starting wars and brainwashing children. Some theologians have suggested that god is confused about his own sexuality and created homosexuals to get some idea of how they act. God has often condemned this assertion claiming he is not homsexual, just "bicurious". God has assumed many names and forms over the years, but "Yahweh" is his most popular name in the west today. People in Israel and Palestine sometimes call each other names, throws stones at each other, fire tow missiles at each other and bomb schools and hospitals because they can't seem to make their mind up about god's current name. God of course considers this a laugh riot and watching the action in Palestine and Israel is major entertainment in Olympus. There are righteous bookies in Olympus with which pious souls bet on how many people will be killed as a result of sectarian violence in the next 10 minutes. 3267 is the most popular bet. God created the universe during his week off from burying dinosaurs a few thousand years ago to kill some time (and a few trillion of his fantastic new creations through war, famine, disease, murder, ethnic cleansing and other forms of genocide and mass murder). He told his original two creations he could see everything they did, like all parents do, but when they misbehaved in the front garden he was nowhere to be seen. God likes to keep himself healthy by exercising on a regular basis and sticking to a healthy diet. According to Pastor Fred Phelps, god is also a non-smoker. Phelps likes to spread this message by carrying a board which proclaims that 'God hates fags'.
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