| abstract | - Leafpool: Hi everyone! Welcome to the Warriors Rumors Show! Audience: Hello! Leafpool: I'm the hostess, Leafpool. Every episode, we have a guest. Today our guest is...Jayfeather! Say hello, Jayfeather! Jayfeather: *Sighs* Hello. Leafpool: Looks like Jayfeather isn't in such a good mood right now. Jayfeather: How could I not be? The cat I thought was my mother lied to me. Leafpool: I understand that. Do you still think the prophecy is about you, though? Jayfeather: No. I'm not Squirrelflight's son, so I can't be Firestar's kin. Lionblaze just happens to be good at fighting. I only have my dreams because I'm a medicine cat. Hollyleaf just happens to be...uh...really obsessive over the warrior code. Hollyleaf: My preeeeeeeeccccccciiiiiiiooooooooooouuuuuuuuuussss... Gollum: Hey! You quoted me without giving credit! I'm suing you! *Phones lawyer* Leafpool: *Bats phone out of hands* Gollum, you're from Lord of the Rings! You can't be in Warriors! This is a talk show, not a crossover! Jayfeather is supposed to be our guest today, not you! Gollum: Aww, but I wanted to be Gollumstar and lead GollumClan! Leafpool: Great StarClan! Spottedleaf, help me! Spottedleaf: You called, Leafpool? Leafpool: Would you mind banishing Gollum to the Dark Forest? Spottedleaf: *Does so* Leafpool: Thank you! *Laughs nervously* Now where were we? Oh, yes. Jayfeather, who do you think are your mother and father? Jayfeather: *No comment* Leafpool: This is called a talkshow for a reason, you know! Jayfeather: I don't care. Leafpool: Suure you don't...anyway, many - if not most - fans think that Crowfeather and I are your parents. Any comments on that? Jayfeather: Uh, sure, I guess I do look a little like Crowfeather. Do you think I'm mouse-brained?! How could I not have noticed by now that I look just like him?! Leafpool: *Presses emergency button* Security: *Drags Jayfeather out* Leafpool: *Phones ThunderClan* *Whispering* Hi, Firestar. Is my sister there? Ok. *Silence for a minute* Squirrelflight? You know those anger management classes you signed Jayfeather up for? I don't exactly think they're helping. What?! He murdered the teacher?! Oh dear! *The theme music from a horror movie of your choice plays in the background - it stops when Jayfeather appears* Jayfeather: *Hangs up phone* I'm going to kill you for being half-kittypet! Leafpool: I'm not half-kittypet! My father is a ThunderClan cat just like me! Wait a second...you're not Jayfeather! Not-Jayfeather: No, I am not! *Takes off Jayfeather suit, revealing that he is in fact...Tigerstar!* Leafpool: Tigerstar! I should have known it was you! *Presses emergency button* Security: *Drags Tigerstar away* Leafpool: Now, for the question this episode was supposed to be about. Are Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze secretly Crowfeather's and my kits? We don't know! The Erins haven't written that yet!
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