| abstract | - Alaric was born on the road as his horde of Goths roamed along the frontiers of the Roman Empire, looking for a way to cross the frontier without the necessity of acquiring visas. Indeed, so regular were these requests for entry that the Romans had dubbed them the 'visa Goths' because of their regular application - and failure - to be allowed in. However, on occasions Alaric's people had got in. In the third century, the Goths killed the Roman emperor Decius when he questioned their visitor status and it took another emperor Claudius II to bat them back over the Danube. So pleased was Claudius with his achievement that he called himself 'Gothicus' and wore his enemy's clothing to mock them. Now roll on a 100 years later. A new intruder had appeared amongst the Goths. These were the The Huns, a people with an even worse sense of fashion than the Goths. The tribe then forked. One group stayed with the Huns (Ostrogoth) because they were still in bed and couldn't be bothered to look outside the tent when the Huns arrived. The other group were the arse biting Visigoths and they rode hard towards the Danube and swim across to slip into the Roman Empire. Picked up by border guards, the Visigoths begged on their sheepskin knees to be allowed to remain under the protection of Caesar and to their surprise, got in this time. This was because there was a strike by Roman officials who were opposed to their emperor 'Shorty' Valens. In 378, the Goths and Romans fought a battle at Adrianople. Valens it is said was killed by the young Alaric who, being the same height as the emperor, slew the arrogant imperialist with his pocket knife.
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