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| rdfs:label | - Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Be A King
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| rdfs:comment | - A collaborative effort of Sog1970 and myself. Enjoy. 15:47 • Sunday, 17-01-2010 24 hours. Monday, 10:24, Jan 18 2010 2 hours to spare! Woo! And now, to bed. Tuesday, 08:21, Jan 19 2010
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| Mcomment | - My overall grade for the article.
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| Pcomment | |
| Icomment | - OK, first off, the first picture = ewwww. But I suppose it's unavoidable, and works pretty well as an introduction to the article. The other pictures are also very good. I laughed out loud at the goat picture caption. The only other suggestion I would make is to format one of the images so that it is on the left side of the article. Right now with only one image left-formatted it looks unbalanced. I'd do either the treasure one or the peasant revolt one. Other than that, your images are great.
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| Ccomment | - Very nice idea: I was jealous, so you get points. This reads like a biography of Henry VIII, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. :) You've covered every exploit a good king ought to have participated in, and in style, too. If I may, however, I would like to say that once I got the article's concept, there were no real surprises. It was kind of like Avatar: Great experience, but also very predictable. That's not to say it ruined the rest of the article! On the contrary, the writing style itself was rife with clever one-liners and hilarious build-ups. Still, I would have liked to see something a little fresh. The trouble is I have no idea how you would do that without breaking from the tone . So I consider it a next-to-non-issue.
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| Hcomment | - Well, let me start out by saying congratulations. You two have given me a very entertaining read. There's not a lot to say here, because your humor is so spot on that there is actually very little to pick at. Well, I'll try anyway.
Intro: Yes. This is perfect. This sets the tone for the article and does it well. You make good use of the Rule of Three, prompting me to issue forth a smirk.
Look, Eat, etc., like a king: These are all very well developed. They're not too short, and the jokes aren't overused at all. One question: At the start of "Eat Like A King," the sentence goes, "Id est, eat like a pig, me lord." What's "Id est"? It greatly discombobulated me. Other than that, this whole section is very funny. My favorite part? "...the Dark Sorcerer Bulboragthé, King of Belgium."
Slay the Dragon: This section isn't as perfect as the earlier ones, but no matter: they are easily fixed. The "piece of white bread" joke kind of fell flat for me. I'd suggest making it into a more recognizable cake or pie analogy. You've also got some strange capitalization and punctuation issues . But they're minor. Another joke that kind of died at the end for me was, "...and thou canst call forth all kings of the world to feast upon the dragon's meat, then mmhmmhmm with their queens whilst they eat like pigs." Apart from my overly sensitive censorship, "eat like pigs" just doesn't have the punch that I was expecting from such a buildup. Make it, I dunno... punchier! "eat like pigs" doesn't seem as bad as I was expecting, you know?
War & Taxes: Very good. No complaints.
Ditto for Crush the Rebellion.
The end: A very solid ending to a very funny article. The only question I had in my mind was how the advisor was still alive. But it was an idle thought, and not enough to bother me. Scarce worth mentioning, really.
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| Fcomment | - Such a pleasure to review an article that doesn't need reviewing. ;) Also, expect to see a familiar-looking VFH nom soon. :D
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| Signature | - Necropaxx/sig (Tuesday, 08:21, Jan 19 2010)
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| abstract | - A collaborative effort of Sog1970 and myself. Enjoy. 15:47 • Sunday, 17-01-2010 24 hours. Monday, 10:24, Jan 18 2010 2 hours to spare! Woo! And now, to bed. Tuesday, 08:21, Jan 19 2010
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