| abstract | - In the event that the U.S. loses the war, or so Mr. Limbaugh confidently assures us, Barack Obama will just take off in the Air Force One to his favorite vacation spot - Hawaii. He'll resume his former position as some town's Village Idiot. This is under the condition that Hawaii isn't laid to nuclear waste, as the White House certainly will. The First Nuclear war occurred in 1980 B.C. between Iraq and the Falkland Islands. Of course Iraq won. Because they have so many nukes. Their nuclear warheads stock has diminished since the U.N. successfully searched and handed all of them to the U.S.. Their destruction was executed by launching them at Iran, in hope that the evil dictator, A'skh'dag'fin'fj'mj'run'ah, and Islamic Priest, who became dictator after he beat Allah in a Pokemon battle. Unfortunately this plan - hitherto considered unanimously as the pinnacle of American intellectual achievement - failed. It was later discovered that Iran had recently acquired several squadrons of African Giraffe from Australia, which promptly proceeded to run everyone the fuck down.
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