| abstract | - Alone in the main hold, Ari T'Nok felt the subtle shifting of vibrations that she had learned to associate with a vessel entering hyperspace. The rest of the crew had all clustered into the cockpit to receive the convoy commander's thanks, but she had chosen to avoid them, at least for the moment. She needed the time alone, however fleeting it might be, to deal with the aftermath of the battle and solidify herself. Throughout her life, and even her years as a lighter, she had never before felt so afraid. It wasn't just the result of the skirmish, though that was a large part of it, but the moments just before contact with the enemy had been made. During her efforts to do as Laera had instructed, to initiate and maintain an open channel of awareness for all aboard to share, something of her earlier feelings for the Human had leaked from her mind. She knew that the Starborne One, for that was always how Ari would think of her, had sensed something of what it meant. Though confused, she had brushed it aside in order to sharpen her focus—as well as to admonish Ari's lack thereof—and prepare herself for what was to come. Now that all was calm once more after having faced death together, these feelings had returned with a vengeance, and it was only a matter of time before Laera sussed out what they really meant. That was what truly scared Ari. As if this wasn't enough, there seemed to be no real way out of this situation. She was, for all intents and purposes, marooned aboard the Challenger, subject to the whims of its crew. She had spent the past several days gradually learning its systems, as well as more general forms of high technology such as so-called “modern” computers, engines, weapons, and whatnot, all the necessary foundation stones for existing in the wider galaxy; this had been in addition to having crafted her lightsaber. As she attempted to straighten herself out Ari thought that, maybe someday, she might be able to fly a ship of her own. Whether it was a starfighter, a freighter like the one in which she now traveled, or a larger ship, she didn't care. At least she had that idea to settle on...at least for the moment. Eventually, or so it seemed to the Sa'ari, Laera emerged from the cockpit area. Her face was turned toward those still inside, however, as she said “I don't know about you, but I could sure go for a nice, hot sanisteam.” The disembodied voice of Silas echoed her sentiments. “Save a bit of that stuff for me, eh?” “Naturally.” The captain turned about as she walked toward her and Silas's quarters, her gaze only briefly meeting Ari's before she was in and had the doorway sealed. That fleeting look, however, spoke volumes about what might come later. Unstrapping herself, Ari rose and retreated to her own tiny compartment, an unpleasant buzzing sensation nipping at the tips of her ridges. All she could do now was to meditate, to center herself, and let the Force take her where it willed. — — — “Taris...who could have known the place had once been bombed to slag?” The question, posed by Silas, drifted about the cockpit without an answer. It had only been two jumps and about four hours after the battle at Silver Point that they arrived, the three freighters receiving their prearranged clearances to land immediately after the impromptu flotilla had decanted from hyperspace. As the crew, minus the Sa'ari, looked upon the pale, streaked and stippled marble that was their temporary destination, the three bulk freighters they were escorting surged ahead along their appointed approach corridor. “CEC Action IX freighters,” Asyr identified them. “Provided they had been modified sufficiently and crewed by good people, they could have fought that Marauder to a standstill.” “The problem was the Uglies,” Ooryl said, disgust thick in his voice. “But it was also our salvation. If they had been real X-wings or TIEs, even old ones from the Rebellion, we would not be here.” Silas, however, wasn't interested in hashing out what-ifs. “Did I ever tell you I visited Taris once?” he asked, casting a sidelong glance at Laera. “During my Academy days, not long before Revan's war,” he amended. “It was a symposium about the Mandalorian occupation, discussions about how effective resistance groups can be on densely-populated worlds.” “What was it like back then?” Asyr asked, cocking her head back to catch his eye. “The architecture was actually quite striking, very similar to contemporary Coruscanti style. The Upper City, which was where we stayed, was very clean and orderly. I heard the Middle City was nice enough, but of course the lower you went the worse it got. Oh, and the Humans there tended to be quite...eccentric.” Ooryl and Asyr seemed to get the meaning as well as Laera had. “Humanocentrism, Ooryl would guess,” the Gand suggested. “The Empire thrived on it, elevating the ideology to what was euphemistically referred to as Human High Culture.” Laera, fully aware that she was the only Human in the crew as well as its captain, nevertheless took the remark in stride. “Rather a dumb idea,” she shrugged. “Hell, among the Marine Corps, Humans were actually a minority. My best friend was a Rodian, and my drill instructor was a Gand.” “We know,” Asyr retorted playfully. “We read your biography, remember?” Laera shook her head in consternation, then brushed her momentary embarrassment aside. “Well, as fun as this little stopover has been, we should think about what to do next,” she pressed on. “I was hoping we would encounter some raiders before arriving at Bad Alshir, and we have. Hopefully we've taken on the bulk of their fleet, but I doubt it—these folks were definitely not the ones who attacked the Pulsar Skate.” “I say we keep going,” Asyr agreed as Ooryl nodded mutely. “You know our destination best,” Silas added deferentially. “Got any bright ideas?” “I do have one, yes,” Laera replied, cocking a thumb toward the aft cargo hold. “Asyr, put us on course for the Alshir system, I'll brief you all on the way...” — — — From Taris it was another two hours in hyperspace before the Challenger arrived just beyond the Oort cloud of the Alshir system, its parent star little more than an orange pebble blazing away in the night sky. During the trip, Laera had told everyone about the system's features, down to the timing of Alshir's cycle of solar activity, and how she intended to exploit them. Hidden amongst the small asteroids, transitory comets, and puffs of fine dust that marked the very edges of the system, Asyr and Ooryl were able to compile a list of updates to account for four thousand years' worth of cosmological change. As it turned out, there was little to note aside from the relative position of the system's five worlds. They were, however, too far out to gain any kind of sense of the system's inhabitants, if there were any. Neither technology nor the Force were of use at these distances, as they had well known. However, they were on a prime trajectory to hop deeper into the system, using the outer three planets' mass shadows to disguise their small vessel as it performed a series of microjumps. These had been precisely calculated by Ooryl with help from T7-H6, who had for the most part kept to himself throughout the battle along with HK-47. As they came out of lightspeed over the dark side of Crass Alshir, the third planet which was little more than a ball of rocks tidally-locked to its star, they began to prepare in earnest. “Now that is what I call firepower,” Asyr remarked as Laera broke open the small-arms and armor lockers to distribute weapons and protection. She hefted a carbine, looked it over, then coolly detached the power pak, replaced it, then checked the weapon's sighting. “Never seen these kinds of blasters, but they look pretty mean.” “Old Republic-issue,” Silas winked as he hefted a powerful-looking rifle. “They just don't make'em like this any more—they look like improved models of what we used.” “Ooryl does not believe that this armor will fit him,” the Gand said, pointing at the assemblage of components. “It would take some...special modifications.” Laera turned a helmet over in her hands. “We never took the time to try this gear out for ourselves, an oversight on my part,” she said apologetically. “Anyway, it doesn't much matter now. Ill-fitting it might be, but we've got time to adjust it and trust me, this stuff is worth it.” “Nothing but the best for the Republic Marines,” Silas added, knocking on his breastplate for emphasis. “As good as beskar'gam, for whatever that's worth. Heavy, though.” “Just as well we'll be staying on the ship,” Asyr commented dryly, indicating herself and Ooryl. “I'm definitely not an armor person.” Ari tossed another helmet experimentally from hand to hand, then began to attempt to fit it over her cranium. To everyone's surprise it seemed to fit, though the Sa'ari soon removed it and began rubbing her scalp with a rueful grimace. “It bends the ridges,” she hissed through her teeth. “Not a pleasant sensation in the slightest.” Silas and Laera, however, were securely encased within their own suits after only a couple of minutes' work, having unabashedly undressed and donned body gloves right in front of the others. “What?” Silas asked through his helmet as Asyr eyed him with a bemused expression. “Trust me, you don't want to wear a body glove over your clothing.” After checking her seals one more time, Laera caught a glimpse of Ari's expression through the very side of her visor. “Something on your mind?” “May I speak with you in private?” the Sa'ari asked, her voice low, almost shameful. “When you have a free moment, that is.” Laera removed her helmet and tucked it under her arm, then looked her crew over one after another. “Ooryl, Asyr, let's run the scans one more time and double-check what you found. Silas, go look over the speeder again, see if there's any way we can cram a fourth body in there.” The two ex-Rogues nodded silently and departed, Silas replying with a mock grumble as he too left. “Work work work, there's never an end to it...” “Well, what's on your mind?” Laera asked when it was just herself and the Sa'ari, Silas having shut the hatch as he had left. — — — The comment, uttered casually but nevertheless an earnest statement of concern, caused Ari's heart to begin thudding against her ribs. In retrospect, it had clearly been a mistake to have a private chat in such close quarters, particularly given the fact that her skull came to within a tenth of an uet of bashing itself against the overhead. Ever since she had remembered Ual T'Vorix, Ari had been consciously bolstering her mental defenses, her one moment of weakness having been immediately prior to the skirmish at the Point. Now that she was alone with the Starborne One, this woman whose mere existence had done so much to influence her people, those feelings threatened to burst her barriers like a barrel of brewine allowed to ferment overlong. But she had to see this through, she had to find out where this path took her, or it would come back to haunt her. Ari knew that, if left to bubble and stew, the coming explosion of passion and longing would crop up at precisely the wrong moment, and might cost the lives of themselves and everyone around them. And yet she couldn't bring herself to utter the words. To her credit, Laera's own sense remained calm, if a little more worried than inquisitive. Ari was well aware of the fact that this Human knew about as much as the average Sa'ari did about their own species, thanks to the months she had spent with Bellinega. It was acknowledging this fact, even in such a roundabout way, that had gotten her into this mess to begin with, and that did not help matters one bit. Drawing a footlocker toward her, Ari sat on it, crossing her long legs to compensate for its less-than-ideal use as a seat. She looked up at Laera, her brown eyes meeting those deep blue irises, so much like those of Ual... “I love you,” Ari blurted out before she could stop herself. If Laera was expecting anything, it certainly wasn't that. The woman's sense flared with shock, disbelief, even a hint of anger borne of incomprehension. Ari's face burned darkly with shame as she looked away, resisting the urge to physically recoil from the captain or even flee the room. Her heart began beating a steady tattoo against her eardrums, the rhythmic pulsing a counterpoint to the anticipated outburst of outrage that she so dreaded to hear. And then Laera made her mistake. “I'm...not sure how to take that,” she said haltingly, taking a step back and crossing her arms over her breastplate. “For all we've talked, you don't really know me, and I'm already—” Before she could finish the obvious statement, which was to say that she was already bonded to Silas Dan'kre, Ari had shot to her feet, banging her head on the ceiling though she neither noticed nor cared. A heartbeat later her hands were at Laera's shoulders, fingers working in a blur to undo the fastenings as she began to shuck the Human out of her armor like a cob of birg. Laera attempted to fight back, pushing at her assailant's arms and body with well-honed combat techniques, but Ari was simply too powerful and had surprise on her side. Overtaken by feelings that were now well and truly beyond her control, she seized Laera's neck from behind with her left hand as her right snaked around her waist to hold her fast. The two locked stares, the brown eyes boring into the blue, the former set squinting once. Those orbs, so much like those of a Human, had turned jet black. “Embrace eternity,” Ari whispered, and the universe imploded. — — — As soon as those eyes had opened, revealing their otherworldly transformation into black holes that sucked her in, a rush of ultimate ecstasy filled Laera's mind. Overpowering her mental resistances as though they weren't even there, they transported her into and throughout the Sa'ari who held her pressed against her own body. In a whirlwind of colors, smells and sensations running throughout the totality of perception, she experienced the full gamut of what it truly meant to be Ari T'Nok. Whole decades of learning, doing, seeing and feeling were slipped into and amongst her own memories, supplementing rather than overwriting. There was simply no room in this exchange for Laera's own thoughts and feelings, what she thought about this...melding...to express themselves. There was simply no chance of pulling away from this before it had run its course. It was like how she had communed with Bellinega T'Ledra, but cranked up to eleven. Despite the fusillade of emotions and experiences, expressions and concerns, some dim part of the Human's mind realized that Ari, too, was getting the same treatment. Seemingly from outside of herself, she knew that the Sa'ari was sucking in the essence of Laera Reyolé, from her childhood on Agamar to her service as a Marine, through to her death, resurrection, and subsequent second life, adding all that was to her own self and being. What was most peculiar was the fact that the intrusion was not entirely unwelcome, though she was relieved when it finally ended. As the rush of euphoria died down, Laera blinked, then realized that Ari had released her. For all intents and purposes, however, they were no longer in the Challenger's armory. Rather, they seemed to be enshrouded in mist of a pinkish hue, which cast its own muted light. She felt almost giddy in the wake of this tumultuous experience, so unlike anything she had ever felt before. The closest possible sensation was... And then the truth of the matter hit Laera like a ton of ferrocrete. Breathing heavily, she blinked again, then fixed Ari with a molten gaze. The heat of it caused the Sa'ari to blanch visibly, and the mist began to dissipate. “You...you raped me!” she hissed, death on her tongue. “You violated me!” Ari's presence seemed to shrink, withering in the face of Laera's fiery wrath. She had in fact never been so utterly, palpably angry, so ready to throttle the life out of someone, than at this very moment. Her own heart was pounding with the bass rumble of a kettle drum, echoing within her mind as her vision blurred over and she felt her eyes crossing up. Rage bubbled up inside her chest in a caldera of unbridled emotion, threatening to burst forth with the full power of the dark side. She had gone from supreme joy to burning hatred so fast that she could feel her hair rising about her shoulders, as though charged with static electricity. The two were alone, Laera in her body glove and Ari in her simple robe, the fact that they were both still fully-clothed the only thing preventing the ex-Marine from crushing her assailant like a creeping insect. The mist disappeared in a puff and the familiar lines and colors of the armory returned. The air within was hot and dense, infused with energy and the thin sheen of sweat that coated both of them, seemingly bathed in a heat haze. Laera waited for the alien's response; the fury in her mind, still very much alive, watching and wondering what pathetic excuses her attacker—this creature that had called itself civilized—could possibly come up with. Whether or not Ari T'Nok lived or died would be decided in the next few moments, and both of them knew it. “I did, yes,” Ari finally replied. Her voice was hoarse, her shame having diminished her form so much that in that precise moment Laera could only see her as a small child caught in wrongdoing. “But it is...not as you know it.” Despite the urge to inflict a sufficiently brutal punishment that screamed within her, Laera hesitated. The part of her that was a Jedi knew that, whatever this Sa'ari had done, no matter the intent, she did not deserve death. As she continued to breathe heavily this facet of her being, bolstered by memories of her time on T'lessia and of Ari herself, gained strength. She forced herself to unclench her fists, to admit to herself that though the act had not been consensual, it had done no harm, and to listen to what Ari had to say. Grimly, the aspect of her countenance still diamond hard, she nodded for Ari to continue. “When my people procreate, we...meld...our minds,” Ari explained dismally. “You know this, but you only know the clinical facts, the raw mechanics of our nature.” “Then give me the real story,” Laera snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning haughtily against the hatchway. Ari sighed heavily, sat upon a crate, and gazed at her lap. “It was as we trained with our lightsabers that I remembered Ual T'Vorix, my first...companion. Before we fought the raiders at Silver Point, I began to initiate your battle-meld as you had instructed, but as I prepared myself, memories of that first melding returned to the fore of my mind.” She paused, then her tone became one of pleading. “You must understand that what you taught me is so much like how we join that...that...I had no choice but to remember her! You are so much like her, and yet so different, and at that moment, I felt utterly drawn to you though I knew in my mind that it was wrong, that you were bound to Silas, that you needed to know you could trust me... “And then, just before the battle, I lost control again,” Ari finished, her being seeming to shrivel yet more. Laera mulled that over as her anger and hatred died away, to be replaced by a hollowness that felt furtive, pitiable and shot through with regret. It was a torch song for the soul, a reminder that passion was not love, but that one could not have love without some passion. The intermittent sensation she had felt from Ari as the Challenger had closed with the force of pirate ships made sense now, and she found that she could at least partially understand why it had come to this. Drawing another crate, Laera sat opposite Ari and faced her, the fury gone from her visage as her expression softened somewhat. “Do continue.” Ari's reply was a long time in coming as she, too, attempted to come to grips with the aftermath of what had happened. “Shroud-crime, of which you know, is related,” Ari admitted, wiping her brow on her sleeve. “In most cases it is caused by...a defect...one which is the result of a genetic anomaly and causes a form of psychosis. She who has it does not know how to properly meld, nor is she capable of learning, so she seeks out those whom she finds attractive and attempts to...mate with them. Instead of initiating a mutual melding of nervous systems, she assaults the victim's mind with brute force. This is often outright fatal, and even those who survive are scarred for life.” “But what you did to me was not shroud-crime,” Laera acknowledged. “Are you saying...?” Ari looked up, hesitated, then met Laera's eyes once more. “I am saying that, by not outwardly refusing me, in a sense you invited me in. I understand that you could not have known this, therefore I expect no pity from you. What happened was my fault, I presumed that this new path would be an easy one, and so my awareness slackened. Now that I truly know you...” “...you would know that I could never leave Silas for you,” Laera finished for her. With that admission, the last pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. Ari had, from the moment she had first heard of them, greatly admired the Starborne Ones, both in what they represented and then later, as she had learned about them as people. All this despite the desire of Pelenora T'Yelc to use and abuse them for her own ends, ends that Ari had helped to work toward. The meld was clearly a core part of the Sa'ari cypher—the sum total of their physiological nature, their social habits, values and culture, and even their language—as well as how they reproduced. The fact that she was the first non-Sa'ari to experience such a melding was not lost on her, nor was the fact that it seemed to have worked as advertised, for she now knew as much about Ari as Ari did about her. It was not as though they could read each others' lives like files in a datapad, though it came close. Laera decided then that if there was love to be had here, then it would be the love of siblings, two sisters whose relationship, for the moment, was in doubt. “I forgive you, Ari T'Nok,” Laera said at last, the effect of those words palpable in that blue face and in those eyes that had long since returned to their normal state. “But, for the moment, I am not certain that I can trust you. Not with what we're about to do.” Ari seemed to shudder in reaction, the rebuke reverberating like the clang of a bronzium bell. “I understand,” she said meekly. “What would you then do with me?” Laera found that, much to her surprise, she had an answer ready to give. Standing up, she calmly delivered her sentence. “Stay here on the ship with Asyr and Ooryl. When this is over, I'll make arrangements with the Calrissians to have you delivered covertly back to T'lessia. Return to your people, tell them what has happened between us, and share with them what you have learned. Iper and Fua will understand.” Ari seemed to inflate like a balloon that had been punctured and then repaired as she, too, resumed her feet. Her eyes closed for a few moments, the orbs fluttering beneath the lids in a fashion Laera had come to associate either with dreaming, or a mental interaction with the Force. When they fluttered open, the Sa'ari fixed Laera with a knowing stare that reminded her of the ironclad resolve she had given to Master Kavar, so long before. “I accept your terms,” Ari said, her tone neutral. “Know, however, that there will come a time when you and your people will require extraordinary aid. I swear to you that when that moment arrives, I will come for you.” Her throat momentarily too tight for words, all Laera could do was nod in reply.
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