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  • The Augustus incident
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  • Sabaody Archipelago., near to the amusement park. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary is happening, and John Jango de Triesieme is also walking up and down, with his nodachi balanced on one shoulder, bored out of his wits. He decides to head to the amusement park, but as he turns round and starts walking a voice yells. ???: Make Way!! Tenryūbito approaching! “Quick, everyone bow!” “Stop it all of you, That’s Saint Augustus!” “But isn’t he that really cruel- “ *THUD* “Quiet!” “Hey wait.. Doesn’t that guy know to bow?!” “Get down! You’ll get us all killed!” There is a long pause. Jango: SURPRISE!!!
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abstract
  • Sabaody Archipelago., near to the amusement park. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary is happening, and John Jango de Triesieme is also walking up and down, with his nodachi balanced on one shoulder, bored out of his wits. He decides to head to the amusement park, but as he turns round and starts walking a voice yells. ???: Make Way!! Tenryūbito approaching! “Quick, everyone bow!” “Stop it all of you, That’s Saint Augustus!” “But isn’t he that really cruel- “ *THUD* “Quiet!” “Hey wait.. Doesn’t that guy know to bow?!” “Get down! You’ll get us all killed!” Jango: Ow!Ow! Owowowow! Watch where you’re going you- (The crowd gasps, and Jango stops, staring at Saint Augustus) Why… By the look of this.. You’re a Tenryūbito! Hello, Tenryūbito! Jango: Oh. My apologies. How rude of me (his voice has a slightly sarcastic tone to it at this. He then talks normally). I meant hello, Your Nobleness. (He waves to the crowd) Get up, all of you. It’s polite and all, but there’s really no need... Jango: Actually, now I think about it, I have a question. You seem to have a girl crawling around on a lead. Why? Augustus: (Stares for ages, evidently Livid) D- Die! There is a long pause. Jango: Oh, sorry! I missed my cue didn’t I? (He drops to his knees, gasping and clutching his chest) Argh, ugh, oh... I am slain! “...Never had a chance..” “..Hope that’s all, I don’t want to die...” “I don’t get it, he didn’t look hurt” “Oh trust me he’s- Jango: SURPRISE!!! Jango: Thank you, Thank you. You’re too kind (Turns to Augustus, who is back to shocked, angry, and twitching again) unlike this guy. Why, by the way? I only asked a question, so why the gun? And why a girl on a lead, incidentally, that was the question I asked then so I’ll – anyway, Why? Augustus: How dare you?! Die!! Jango: That’s just plain rude. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you wanted to kill me. And I only asked a question. (He looks at the slave girl who is now staring at him) Since you don’t seem to be talking, I’ll ask her instead. (He gets down on one knee in front of the girl) Do you know why he’s forced you to crawl around like this? The slave girl stares at him for a long while, looking scared, but eventually talks quietly.Girl: Dark Angel. Jango: Yes, how- Saint Augustus abruptly spins and backhands the girl roughly, knocking her away. He then kicks Jango, although this has again no effect at all, and Jango continues to stare into space. Augustus: I never said you could talk! Stupid girl! And you, Commoner! How dare you ignore me and try to talk to my slave without my agreement?! Jango: I didn’t intend to get into trouble today. But sadly it looks like I have no choice now. (He draws his sword slightly, revealing a red symbol on the black blade.) I have earned some favour with this blade, but not enough to guarantee the safety of all of you (He draws the sword fully and flourishes it) All those who plan on surviving, Run Now! “He wouldn’t?! Surely?!” “The guy’s insane!” “Wait a minute, look at his sword! The blade is black! It’s the black blade!” “What?! But that means..” “ "It’s him isn’t it? I thought he’d be different.” “Yes. This man must be him. He can only be... Dracule Mihawk!” “Wait, What?!” “Run!” “The world’s strongest swordsman is about to go mad!” All of the bystanders run away. The slave girl crawls away as far as she can, but is pulled back by the chain. Augustus sees this, and pulls on it aggressively, pulling the girl back to him. Augustus: I never said you could move! You.. commoner! I’ll kill you! (he turns to one of the guards) Give me that rifle! Guard 1: Sire, we should leave now. It is apparent this man has some kind of Devil fru- Augustus: I don’t care! Nobody would dare spill my divine blood! Now give- Jango: Come out, Dai Oni! Guard 2: Wha-What kind of sword is that?! Guard 3: Oni.... Guard 4: quick, shoot it! Jango: Don’t hurt the girl. And make sure you don’t touch those shackles either. The rest of them I leave entirely up to you, Kiri-Nodachi. Enjoy. Guard 1: Sire, Run! Quickly, before- *Shnick* Jango: So it falls to me. The sword eliminates the guards, and leaves me to pass judgement. Augustus: (Completely ignoring Jango) I’m filthy?! And this air stinks of inferiority! A mask, I need a mask! Jango: (points the sword at Augustus) I’ll ask again. A girl crawling around on a lead. Why? Augustus: I don’t answer to commoners. Go away before I call the admirals. Jango: (Sarcasticly) Commoner? When you shot at me I didn't die. Oh, And... I'm carrying a devil around over one shoulder. Is that common? Augustus: (A pause, then speaks slowly) No. I suppose it isn’t. There’s probably some tiny godforsaken hole somewhere where you’re almost as important as me. Jango: It’s not tiny or godforsaken, and it’s the exact opposite of a hole, but yes, correct. Please answer. Augustus: You want to know why I make her crawl? Because it reminds her of her inferiority! That’s why! This way she will remember that her entire fate is always in my hands, and that it is the right of the important and superior to do whatever they want with those of impure blood! You understand don’t you? You must feel the same way in your tower? Jango: No. And it’s not a tower either. Augustus: Y-you wouldn’t kill me, surely! (Jango flicks the sword, and the guard’s helmet is cut in half with no resistance) You wouldn’t.. Jango: You just don't get it! I'd pity you, except I hate your kind too much for that. You nobles, always taking rights that aren't yours, giving nothing back in return.. If it wasn't for the threat of the marines you'd all be extinct by now. Fortunately, since marines can't threaten me, I'm in a perfect position to start us off.. Augustus: No, wait! Its about the girl isn’t it? You want her, don’t you? You can have her! Just let me go! Here! Augustus: Take her. She looks good with you! And wherever you come from can’t possibly have slave girls as fine as her. You appreciate quality don’t you? Even with your impure blood you- (He suddenly relises that Jango still looks angry,) Jango: Impure? Augustus: What.. Manner..... Of. Devil.... Jango: Why must my people always be seen that way?... Even when we try to fit in, we are outcasts. (He turns to the slave girl) Now, I’m not entirely sure how you noticed that, but hold on a second. I think the collar is probably explosive, but if I- Timeslip! Jango: Done. (He helps the slave girl to her feet) It’s up to you what happens now, but I think we’d better leave before someone decides to Buster Call the whole Archipelago... Heck, they actually might. Didn’t think of that. Anyway, priorities! Jango: Pleased to meet you. I’m John Jango de Triesieme. What’s your name? Slave girl: ... Jane Rose.