| abstract | - Washington State University was an American public university in the state of Washington. George Mason graduated from Washington State University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Government, and later earned a Master of Business Administration there as well. (Findings at CTU)
- WSU has a long and interesting history. It all began neary 100 years ago, when a Washington farmer named Joseph Dingleheimer (known to friends as "Big Hungry Joe") was arrested for performing acts of bestiality with one of his cows. Dingleheimer was sent to prison, and the courts decreed that his estate be given to the cow as compensation. For several years the cow happily grazed on its property, until one day someone suggested the cow donate the land to the state. The cow was not capable of consenting to this (as it was a fucking cow), so state wardens slaughtered the cow and seized the land. It was decided by the State of Washington that this land be used as the site of a new, desperately needed leper colony. In 1912, the State Home for Disgusting Lepers was completed, and several lepers were housed there. One of the lepers, David "Fancypants" Skinner, taught himself to read from the back of cereal boxes, and the residents of Pullman were duly impressed as he was the most educated person ever to reside in that town. It was decreed that the SHDL be turned into an educational facility for lepers, and in 1918 its name was changed to the State University for Disgusting Lepers. SUDL continued operation until 1939, when a fire destroyed the campus, killing many lepers and several cows. This was a devastating tragedy for the people of Pullman, as those lepers were the smartest, kindest, and most physically attractive people to ever live in their town. In their honor, the state government built an insane asylum on the property called the SUDL Memorial Asylum for the Mentally Deranged. In 1963, a patient suffering from severe schizophrenia began suffering delusions that he was the president of a large university. The staff of the SUDL Memorial Asylum decided to humor him and play along, calling him "Mr. President" and asking him how the university's football team was doing. After a while, their joking got out of hand and they decided to take it a step further. Several staff members posted ads in Washington newspapers stating that a new university had been created for high school drop-outs who were too stupid to be admitted into the University of Washington. Suprisingly, many young people fell for it, showing up at the asylum and expecting it to be a university. The joke was revealed, but the aspiring students were not smart enough to understand that they were the victims of a hoax and demanded to be let in to the asylum and attend "classes." Unable to convince them otherwise, the asylum's staff finally gave in and admitted the students. This went on for several years, with students living side-by-side with mental patients and attending "classes" (which mainly involved them helping the custodial staff clean patients' bed pans). In 1974 it was decreed by the governor of Washington that, since "students" outnumered patients at the asylum 5-to-1, the SUDL Memorial Asylum be turned into an actual university. And thus Washington State University was born. Fascinating history, eh?
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