| rdfs:comment | - The American Red Cross is an emergency response organization. As part of a worldwide movement that offers neutral humanitarian care to the victims of war, the American Red Cross also aids victims of devastating natural disasters.
- The American Red Cross (also known as the Red Cross by those who are too lazy to type "American") is an organization that strives to promote health, wellness, well-being, and living well. The organization was founded to provide support for the victims of demon possession. Today, this is still the Red Cross' primary focus, though in its spare time it enjoys blood letting, organ harvesting, and offering euthanasia services for the elderly. It also the leading natural disaster organization in the United States, staging over 200 such disasters each year.
|
| abstract | - The American Red Cross is an emergency response organization. As part of a worldwide movement that offers neutral humanitarian care to the victims of war, the American Red Cross also aids victims of devastating natural disasters.
- The American Red Cross (also known as the Red Cross by those who are too lazy to type "American") is an organization that strives to promote health, wellness, well-being, and living well. The organization was founded to provide support for the victims of demon possession. Today, this is still the Red Cross' primary focus, though in its spare time it enjoys blood letting, organ harvesting, and offering euthanasia services for the elderly. It also the leading natural disaster organization in the United States, staging over 200 such disasters each year. The American Red Cross is located in Cuba, relocated from its original home of Branson, MO. When questioned about this move, current Red Cross Chief Executive Mark W. Everson remarked, "The IRS was investigating our tax records." However, key members in the organization have leaked that the real reason is because "Mr. Everson really likes the air down there." Recently, the Red Cross has come under fire for a scam involving the selling of donated blood to vampires. Many proponents of the Red Cross fear that this scam will cause people to lose faith in the organization, causing a drastic drop in blood donations. Noted Red Cross enthusiast and part-time writer J.K. Rowling disagrees, however, saying, "I don't think people will really care that much."
|
