| abstract | - The Labor Party spent incredibly large amounts of Australian taxpayer's money throughout the 1970s and 1980s on a secret funding program for the Gestapo to scour the Australian population and find suitable gene pools. After years of exhaustive research, a short-list of genetic candidates was presented to the current leader, Chevy Chase. The experiment was approved by a special meeting of the Australian Parliament in which an unprecented number of MPs were in attendance. Its record - seven, and one wooden leg - still stands today. Among those selected for the experiment were Leonard Cohen, Lenin, Greg Kinnear, Dolph Lundgren, Former President Dwight D. Eisenhower, Stalin, Himmler, That Guy, William Shatner, Steven Seagal and that Boring Woman From Cold Case, with a last-minute addition of the lowly hatmaker Morgan Freeman. Unfortunately, the Manhattan Project, as it was known, ended in failure as the combined DNA strands of the subject's genetics counteracted each other, creating a creature so boring that people would fall into a coma upon simply viewing it.
|
