| abstract | - An Arranged Marriage is, quite simply, the idea that someone is going to choose your spouse for you. The choosing process can work in several different ways:
* In a forced marriage, parents choose their child's future spouse with little or no input from the child and expect them to follow through with it. If the child refuses, she may be punished or even killed. Gets even worse when the groom believes in the custom of Marital Rape License and/or the bride is a child. These are not very common in Western nations today, where an individual's right to happiness outweighs the social and economic interests of the family who might benefit from such a marriage. Historically, though, many marriages were arranged, although in most Western societies the groom, or his parents, arranged the marriage with the bride's parents - and whether the bride had any choice in the matter or not depended on them. Generally the more important the alliance, the less opportunity either of the prospective partners was given to say no.
* In some cultures, the marriage could go through without the bride's consent. In others (such as Christian Europe), the marriage required the consent of both parties--but in lands where fathers had near-unlimited power over their children (especially their daughters), it was easy enough to force such "consent".
* In less restrictive traditional arranged marriages, parents may choose their children's respective spouse with input from said children and without the caveat that they have to accept a potential match unconditionally -- although the children may be heavily pressured to do so if such a match is especially favorable.
* Voluntarily, one can hire a matchmaker (or sign up for an online matchmaking service), which will pair the prospective bride or groom with a large list of potential suitors with whom they can freely choose to pursue relationships. These kinds of "no-strings" arrangements are far more popular in Western nations, although those who use dating services may not want to freely admit doing so, since the stereotype is that only workaholics or the socially inept would actually have a need to do so.
* In Japan, the ancient custom of omiai is a means by which suitable couples are formally introduced to each other by their parents, who sometimes employ a professional matchmaker. Meetings between potential mates are often stiff, formal affairs conducted in expensive tea shops or hotels with the parents of the couple present. (Needless to say, such meetings can be a source of tremendous tension for all involved participants.) In pre-war Japan, arranged marriages were common, a lot more restrictive as far as choice was concerned, and popular among the Samurai Class as a way of cementing familial alliances. In modern times, the heads of rich, high-class corporation-owning families can choose to bind their children to each other in a similarly restrictive way to form powerful economic alliances. There is little the prospective bride and groom can do to get out of such arrangements without causing considerable embarrassment and social turmoil in their own family. (Needless to say, many Anime series will milk this sort of thing for all it's dramatic and/or comic worth.)
* In the Middle East and South Asia, a more relaxed form of omiai is practiced: the parents' expectation that their children marry is more hinted at than stated, as it is generally disguised as simply inviting "a nice family" or "a good young lady/man from a good family" over for tea or lunch/dinner. The hope is that the prospects will like each other anyway, but occasionally the intended courters can feel pressure if circumstances (money, family honor, social standing, in some cases politics, or the embarrassment of having an unmarried child--especially a daughter--that age) get in the way. Also different from omiai is that it is not a formal introduction, since the families are frequently friends, and occasionally even relatives (an old saying in the Middle East to a woman who has been having trouble getting married is, "well, there's always your cousin"). This custom also exists among Ashkenazi Orthodox Jews (non-Ashkenazi ones are generally culturally Middle Eastern in the first place), although going through a matchmaker is more common.
* Sometimes the villain (commonly a Lawful Evil villain) may attempt to "arrange" a marriage between himself and the heroine/the hero's love interest. If it is questionable whether the fiance is actually a hero or a villain, the arranged marriage will often take the shape of payment of a debt from the heroine's family to the fiance or fiance's family. Then part of a plot will be a mystery where the heroine struggles to figure out whether the fiance's motives are at root noble or nefarious; a more stubborn, action-oriented heroine may spend a lot of time trying (and failing) to pay that debt before even noticing that the fiance might actually be worth marrying. In more extreme versions the heroine may be a captive or a slave who becomes the legal property of the 'fiance'; again, plucky heroines may spend a whole plot arc trying to escape or earn their freedom before considering whether they actually want to escape. The hero's trust issues become a lot more noticeable in this variant when he is afraid not just of her choosing a rival or running away, but of actually killing him. Generally the conflict cannot be resolved until the heroine finally gets to a position of freedom or power, then has to use it to support or outright rescue the fiance. The idea of an arranged marriage is anathema to Westerners. "What happened to freedom," they ask, "and what happened to The Power of Love, and True Love's Kiss? People should Marry for Love!" The answer is that this is one situation where it was better to be poor. It's easy to forget that history is by and large written only about the rich, and that in most countries well over 90% of the population were either peasants, slaves/serfs, or dirt-poor townsmen whose lives have for the most part been unexplored (or, in the past, deliberately ignored) by historians. These people didn't have arranged marriages because they had no reason to: they owned no property, titles, or status to hand down, they didn't need to make alliances, and they had no long-held traditions to uphold. The poor married for love or infatuation or to legitimize children (although often their form of marriage was what we would consider cohabitation), but this all happened well under the radar. For anyone with land, money, wealth, titles or any other inheritance they wanted their children to hold, the Arranged Marriage was the way to go. It was more of a business arrangement: two families would agree to a mutually-beneficial exchange, and seal the pact with grandkids. Compatibility was not disregarded (after all, an alliance works better if it isn't held together by a Crack Pairing), and love was held in high esteem... but it was considered a product of marriage, not a cause, which should be born from long familiarity with one's spouse: Ten Minutes in the Closet, except over the course of a lifetime. (See The Makioka Sisters for an example.) Finally, the Perfectly Arranged Marriage, the love-child of the Arranged Marriage and Love At First Sight, was developed by ancient tropers in acknowledgement of the fact that love is a desirable part of a marriage. But the thing about these arranged marriages was that they weren't between a husband and wife: they were between two families, with the husband and wife simply being the ones who formalize it. Love can be fleeting, but family is eternal and fortune precarious; The Needs of the Many must take precedence. In most instances where a formal Arranged Marriage is introduced into a plot, it will become a source of tension and contention. Most people don't really want to marry a total stranger (much less have sex with them), and if that total stranger turns out to be a complete rogue and a cad, it may be necessary for the heroes to spring into action and rescue the hapless member of their group who is being forced to walk down the aisle. (Of course, being Big Damn Heroes, they'll have to do so in the most overblown and dramatic way possible.) Sometimes, the person in the arranged marriage takes matters into their own hands and becomes a Runaway Fiance. Conversely, in a Romance Novel, an Arranged Marriage can be used as a technique to lock the hero and heroine together so that their disputes can not end with one of them washing his hands of the other. A common tactic is for the daughter of a wealthy but common family to be matched with the Impoverished Patrician, for his title. Occasionally, it's the other way around, with a titled daughter and a moneyed son. The Arranged Marriage is not to be confused with: a Childhood Marriage Promise (whereby a prepubescent couple voluntarily pledges their own non-legally-binding, future troth); a marriage which may arise out of convenience; or a marriage that arises from some kind of cultural mistake. For clarity's sake, the Arranged Marriage trope will deal only with more binding, traditional types of unions. See also Parental Marriage Veto, You Have Waited Long Enough, and Old Man Marrying a Child. A Shotgun Wedding is a short-notice forced marriage. If someone agrees to an Arranged Marriage but loves someone else, Courtly Love may be involved. If the people doing the "arranging" in the marriage aren't the parents, that's a Bureaucratically Arranged Marriage. Often involves Prince Charmless and Rebellious Princess. At least recently, one of the potential spouses was as likely as not to try to defy this. When the audience really doesn't want this marriage, expect the Big Damn Heroes to show up right at the Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace line. To see the types of follies and foibles associated with modern dating services, see Dating Service Disaster. Very much Truth in Television for many time periods and even a lot of countries today, though usually without so much drama. Examples of Arranged Marriage include:
- An arranged marriage was a wedding arranged by a person or persons other than those being married. Arranged marriages can take place with the participants' prior knowledge or agreement or without it, depending on the circumstances, context and the culture of those arranging the marriage. Often, the arrangements will be made by family members on behalf of their children as part of their culture, but such marriages may also be arranged for political reasons. The Vulcans would conduct arranged marriages, although they did not always go forward. (TOS: "Amok Time" ; ENT: "Breaking the Ice", "Home") In 2364, Deanna Troi was to be married to Wyatt Miller, to whom she was bonded as a child by both of their respective families. (TNG: "Haven" ) In 2368, the Kriosian Kamala was to be married to Alrik of Valt as a means to end a centuries-long conflict. (TNG: "The Perfect Mate" ) In 2373, Ensign Vorik, realizing that his arranged marriage on Vulcan was probably dissolved on account of him having disappeared in the Delta Quadrant, proposed marriage to B'Elanna Torres. (VOY: " Blood Fever")
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