| Text | - ... The journey has been uneventful so far and the weather is fine. Faltugios suggested to run the ship with full power but I decided it is better not to take even the slightest risk on our mission. I am still convinced that IT will not allow us that easily to continue with our plans. Admittedly, I am extremely nervous, but this is no surprise considering the circumstances. Our knowledge is a burden not easy to bear. Therefore I keep these notes, knowing I'll have to destroy them when the time has come. I'm a bit nervous but I'm also anxious to learn what we will be able to do for the best of the world. Time will tell.
... A sea serpent has attacked our ship. Could it be IT's doing? Though the serpent was quite huge, it was no match for our ship's weaponry. Still, could IT know our power? Or the strength of IT's tools? Even if IT is not working consciously against our efforts, it might be an instinctive reflex like an animal that flicks flies. If it was an effort to stop us, it would mean that IT is aware of our movements. Could it be? We still know so little about this enemy, which ironically is also our only defence and hope. Faltugios should be glad that the circle spared him of the tainted knowledge. Of course he is not and blames me for holding back information. If he only knew what a gift his ignorance is.
... Today we had to sink two Treluvian ships which attacked us. They still hold a grudge against us for not supplying them with weapons, but they really should have known better. Still, I felt uncomfortable ordering their destruction. On the other hand, knowing what I know, to bother about it is pointless. They'd be dead, one way or the other, anyway.
... It is hard to let no word slip my lips by accident. They do not have to know what I know. Actually they probably already know too much for their own good. Or the good of the world that is. I try to blend out my knowledge as good as I can. Can IT perhaps hear my thoughts about IT somehow? The thing is that we know that there is some kind of dependency. But knowing about it only makes things work. I get a headache just thinking about it or even trying not to think about it.
... With the weather that bad and several people seasick, I finally get some rest from their constant demands.
... The weather gets better and the demands and hidden accusations are already increasing again. I was not prepared for such a thing. I am accustomed to my own studies in loneliness and not to care for the needs of several spoilt and eccentric scientists. I wonder if I was a good choice for that position. But now I have no choice.
... The closer we come to the isle, the more it becomes clear what a responsibility lies on me. Sometimes when I try to sleep, I can feel it like a stone on my breast. What if the others refuse to work if they do not learn more about our agenda? What if we run into unexpected complications? What if we find out, our project is going to be a failure? What if IT knows more about us and our world than we assume? There are so many things that need to be considered. Would a good leader be as nervous as I am?
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