| Property | Value |
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| rdfs:label | - The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season2/March
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| OriginalAirDate | - --03-01
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- --03-06
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- --03-09
- --03-14
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| EpisodeNumber | - 58
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| ProdCode | - 2026
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| ShortSummary | - 401.0
- First instance where Colbert has removed items from his bookshelf. In this case, Jessica Simpson merchandise, in response to Simpson declining an offer to speak at a GOP fundraiser.
- Colbert updates journalist Jill Carroll on what's happened in the world while she was held captive. Women's History Month is celebrated by honoring Soledad O'Brien. Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger: wag for giving the Templeton Prize to a scientist, tip to Canada, wag to Victor Willis. Colbert encourages viewers to download episodes of the show from the iTunes Music Store.
- Colbert predicts the Academy Award winners in the 5 major categories using the DaColbert Code.
- The debut of a new segment, "Better Know a Founder." Stephen introduces the "Never Existed to Me" list, in which the first entry is California's 50th district, which had been represented by Randy "Duke" Cunningham. During the Huffington interview, when Stephen says he is 'Truthiness's father, to which she points out that Wikip*dia acknowledges him as not the father but who helped popularize it to which he replies "Fuck 'em."
- Colbert halts his sperm merchant business due to excess demand.
- Part sixteen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Brad Sherman of California's 27th congressional district. A man delivers pizza for lunch. The episode is notable for the fact that the "The Wørd" segment did not air until the second "act" of the show.
- First appearance of "Stephen's Sound Advice." Stephen gives advice to Iraqis on how to fight a civil war.
- Stephen reveals that he can fold his right ear into his head and that his "balls are waxed." Part 1 of "Better Know a Protectorate" with Rep. Donna Christian-Christensen of the U.S. Virgin Islands district at large.
- "All You Need to Know" returns. Stephen implores Sir Benjamin Slade, a British man searching for an American heir, to give his estate to him.
- Colbert considers Japan's victory in the World Baseball Classic a victory for the United States by proxy; performance reviews of staff members Bobby, Jimmy, and Killer are done on-air; Colbert corrects a number of factual errors from recent episodes during "the In-Box."
- The Colbert Report calls the 2008 United States presidential election in favor of Bill Frist, the first news show to do so. Colbert also predicts that a war will be waged against Iran by then.
- A Colbert Report Special Report: Home, Hearth, Heart & Heartland: A Return to Traditional Values. The normal theme music is replaced by Colbert on guitar and leading the audience in "This Land Is Your Land." Miss Manners appears as a special correspondent. Colbert gives "Stephen's Sound Advice" to parents on how to raise a hero. This is also the first episode in which a "The Wørd" segment does not appear.
- "Was It Really That Bad?" on the days before the rise of labor unions. Stephen shows a clip from his new documentary, "Hiphopketball 2: The Rejazzebration '06 Remix" featuring an appearance by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
- Colbert predicts the Apocalypse because of a recent solar eclipse and endorses polygamy in "The Wørd". Part seventeen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Adam Schiff of California's 29th congressional district.
- Colbert announces that the San Francisco Zoo is planning on naming a newborn bald eagle Stephen Jr. in his honor; Russ Lieber debates Colbert on the issue of school vouchers, and ends up confessing his love for "quadrapalegic gay men in wheel chairs, holding babies."
- Part fifteen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Linda Sanchez of California's 39th congressional district.
- Bears absent from the Threat Down for the second week in a row. Colbert proposes to mate various blond celebrities to enhance their blondedness. Colbert boasts in an "I Called It" segment his correct predictions for Oscar winners.
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| IntroPhrase | - "And the Truth goes to... America!"
- "In Vino Veritas, and I am hammered!"
- "Truth hurts, and this is gonna be agonizing."
- "Warmth is to sun as Truth is to me."
- "In the future you will be able to inject this program directly into your eyeballs; the future is now!"
- "Focus on the spot on the wall and breath over the contractions. This truth's coming out head first."
- "America, bend over and relax, you're about to get a Truthoscopic examination."
- "Never mind the bollocks, this is The Colbert Report!"
- "From the creators of The Colbert Report, this is The Colbert Report."
- "It's the last show of March. I came in like a lion and I'm going out like a lamb-fed lion."
- "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, come one, come all, step right up and marvel at the exotic and the mysterious freak show. It walks, it talks, it crawls on its belly like a reptile. No photographs, no paper maché; it is... the Truth."
- "I'm here to fight for justice and the American way. My weapon? The Truth!"
- "You're about to enter another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of Truth. There's a signpost up ahead. Next stop, The Colbert Report."
- "What you're about to see contains graphic violence, adult situations and scenes of full frontal Truth."
- "This isn't a bald spot, it's a solar panel on a Truth machine."
- "Mr. Stephen Colbert requests the pleasure of your company on the occasion of his latest television program."
- "The world is a dirty place, and I'm America's lemon-scented wet nap."
- "Light the lamp and put the biscuit in the basket, this is SportsCenter... Nope, this is The Colbert Report!"
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| TheWord | |
