| abstract | - Loughborough University (pronounced loo-ga-ba-roo-ga) was founded in the middle ages by a whimsical travelling band of scholarly monks. It has always been a centre of academic excellence despite having to operate in secrecy after the refermation and during Oliver Cromwell's War on Terror, only to re-emerge as a Polytechnic in the 20th century before reclaiming its rightful place as the number one academic institution in England in 1966 (although this is greatly disputed by Thames Valley). The Queen was forced to give royal charter to Loughborough due to the radical fundamentalism of students who were trained by Che Guevara's evil twin who was also a ninja, like Gandhi. After the so-called "Great Fire of London", Loughborough was rebuilt by Christopher Wren, who re-modelled the campus using Loughboronian Geometry as a guide. This was later stolen by a cheating-crack-smoking-no-good-commie-trickster, known as Ling-Fung-Wong, a sleeper agent under deep cover disguised as an international student from China, who took it home and repackaged it as Feng-Shui before using China's cheap labour to mass produce the product and export it to gullable North Americans and Europeans. Loughborough has always been a target for academic espionage and many of its discoveries have been plageurised by international playboys such as Sir Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison and Stone Cold Steve Austin. A prime example of this is the "Stone Cold Stunner", a technique pioneered by the Civil Engineering Department who used it to crush concrete blocks.
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