| abstract | - Nuneaton (often commonly spelt Gnuneaton), is a township in the Midlands, which was originally founded sometime between the Triassic Period and 1984, the year of the first Police Academy film, as an elaborate practical joke. The township was built by prisoners in the nearby penal colony of Coventry, and is notable for resembling every other slum in the region. The town has something of a frontier mentality, where inbreeding and a total disregard for law and convention is ingrained in local culture. It is possible to tell a resident of Nuneaton apart from peasants of other shanty towns, due to the physical deformities amongst the local population, notably extra digits. This mutation is known as Nunism, and the locals as Nunites. The typical Nuneaton greeting of "Gimme Six!", met with a slapping of hands, can be regularly witnessed in most local hovels. This is known locally as the "hundred hand slap", and was famously stolen by automotive manufacturer Eddie Honda, to advertise their Street fighter range of hatchbacks. Additionally, Nunites can be identified, by their feet. As well as the extra toes, it is required that all Nunites have white socks. Anyone with any other colour, is not a local, despite any facial mutations they may have, and will not get served in Bilberries, the local mecca of sophistication. The River Wanker runs parallel with the town sewage system, and is a haven for numerous wildlife, including plesiosaurs and brummies. In common with most parts of the third world, every man, bear, dog, woman, child and other creatures, without gills, descend on the banks, to partake in their weekly communal bath. However the town's most famous landmark is Mount Judd, an anthill, which towers some six foot above the rest of the cesspit. Mount Judd is the primary location for the borough's repeated attempts at space travel, and public executions.
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