| abstract | - Cast:
* Mike Wazowski (Monsters, Inc.) as Larry the Cucumber
* Squidward Tentacles (SpongeBob SquarePants) as Archibald Asparagus
* Dominic Badguy (Muppets Most Wanted) as Art Bigotti
* Horace Bleakman (Clifford the Big Red Dog) as Mr. Nezzer
* Chip Chipmunk (Mickey Mouse) as Jean-Claude Pea
* Captain DuBois (Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted) as Miss Achmetha
* Ord (DragonTales) as Apollo Gourd
* Big Bird (Sesame Street) as Bob the Tomato
* Lowly (Busytown Mysteries) as Scallion #1 Lyrics:
* Narrator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Mike, the part of the show-
* Squidward Tentacles: [angry] Stop! Stop! Don't even think about it! As if Omelet wasn't bad enough. Ahem. Dale, Chip!
* Dale and Chip: Oui!
* Squidward Tentacles: And now it is time for Classy Songs with Mike, the part of the show where Mike comes out and sings a classy song.
* Squidward Tentacles: (sings) One day, while he was waiting for the trolly, he had a hat.
* Mike Wazowski: My high silk hat.
* Squidward Tentacles: He wore it high upon his head so proudly, a beautiful hat.
* Mike Wazowski: My high silk hat.
* Squidward Tentacles: A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly. Now fancy this and fancy that. The splendor of his hat in all its majesty.
* Mike Wazowski: Like a king, in a royal cap! I feel so swell and handsome in my hat. I bet that others wish they had in fact -
* Mike and Squidward: A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so high, a high silk hat!
* Mike Wazowski: Oh, Mister Dominic Badguy, now whaddya think of that?
* Squidward Tentacles: Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly, I must in fact share more than that. For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly, of chocolate this -
* Mike Wazowski: And chocolate that.
* Squidward Tentacles: Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy, a chocolate bliss.
* Mike Wazowski: A chocolate snack.
* Chorus: Confections such as these are more than candy, so one might buy a box of that.
* Mike Wazowski: I have my chocolate placed upon my lap. I feel so good you just cannot help that. I have my snack, a chocolate pack of chocolate this and chocolate that! Oh golly, Mr. Bleakman, now whaddya think of that?
* Squidward Tentacles: Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter upon his hat -
* Chorus: And chocolate snack.
* Squidward Tentacles: So beneath his hat he thought and pondered:
* Mike Wazowski: What should I do to save my hat?
* Squidward Tentacles: He thought and contemplated as he perspired, beneath his hat -
* Chorus: Upon his snack.
* Squidward Tentacles: He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire into a pool.
* Chorus: A chocolate vat.
* Mike Wazowski: I won't feel grand if I take off my hat. The sun's gettin' hot and my hat just might go flat. My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets will melt like that! Oh, hurry mister trolly, before my dapperness goes flat.
* Squidward Tentacles: He decided to forgo his looks so dashing to save his hat -
* Chip Chipmunk: And little snack!
* Squidward Tentacles: So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him -
* Mr. Bleakman: And put his hat on top of that.
* Mike Wazowski: Oh please.
* Chorus: Oh please, oh please!
* Mike Wazowski: Don't anybody sit close to me, upon my hat. I ask if all of you could be so kindly and just stand back, away from my snack! (Ord sits on Mike's hat and chocolates.) A great big dragon sat upon my hat! A great big dragon squished my hat real flat! He squashed my hat, he made it flat, he squished my snack, oh what of that?! Oh, tell me, anybody, now whaddya think of that?
* All: A great big dragon sat upon his hat! A great big dragon squished his hat real flat! He squashed his hat, he made it flat, he squished his snack, oh what of that!
* (The trolly arrives and all get on except Mike. Lowly walks up.)
* Mike Wazowski: Oh, golly! Uh, what's your name?
* Lowly: My name is Lowly. I've been around since Busytown and my name is Lowly!
* Mike Wazowski: Now whaddya think of that?
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