| rdfs:comment | - The film, set in Medieval times, begins with the village of New Brunswick in ruins. Thousands of peasants are starving to death in the streets begging God for forgiveness while simultaneously cursing God for dealing them such a shit hand. One particularly hungry young boy, Valentor, makes a secret prayer to Satan in a desperate attempt to save his people. As if by magic, Valentor's prayer is the successful plea: fresh country ham, biscuits, eggs, gravy, sweet yams, cake, various types of sodas, wine, cotton candy, and balloons for grandma all fall from the sky like mana from Heaven. The villagers rejoice, not knowing the terrible fate bestowed upon their people via Valentor's sinister prayer.
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| abstract | - The film, set in Medieval times, begins with the village of New Brunswick in ruins. Thousands of peasants are starving to death in the streets begging God for forgiveness while simultaneously cursing God for dealing them such a shit hand. One particularly hungry young boy, Valentor, makes a secret prayer to Satan in a desperate attempt to save his people. As if by magic, Valentor's prayer is the successful plea: fresh country ham, biscuits, eggs, gravy, sweet yams, cake, various types of sodas, wine, cotton candy, and balloons for grandma all fall from the sky like mana from Heaven. The villagers rejoice, not knowing the terrible fate bestowed upon their people via Valentor's sinister prayer. The story skips ahead 20 years to a middle-aged Valentor, now a woodsmith, working in his father's coal mine. Ever the hard worker, Valentor stays in the mine long after the other sons have left. While alone in a dark cavern, he is visited by a demon, slightly resembling a yamaglanche, who delivers this powerful warning to Val: “Lo, thou shalnt mix thy colors withst thy whites, lest thy laundered lot be soiled most foul! ...oh and your village is gunna burn down somethin' FIERCE, bro..” ~ Yamaglanche Hellbeast on the fate of New Brunswick This would become the most quoted passage of the film.
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