| abstract | - Merle Agnetha Vincent was a morbidly obese shut-in who cofounded WrestleCrap with fellow tubster RD Reynolds.. He died in 2000 when he blew his brains out pointblank range to avoid being jailed for his pedophile activities. Vincent was a huge fan of Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat and famously "shot out" his tv screen after ejaculating furiously while watching their Chi-Town Rumble snoozefest. Also had a major grudge against Hulk Hogan. This originates from the fact that Vincent was supposed to be one of the Big Fat Ugly Guys that Hogan feuded with during his WWF World Title run. However, Hogan, who famously bodyslammed the 1200-pound Andre The Giant the day before he died, was unable to lift the hefty Vincent off his smelly feet. Is rumored to have started the rumor that Hulk Hogan was originally booked to drop the WWF World Title to Bret Hart at SummerSlam 1993, but refused to do the job. Also allegedly started the rumor that back in the 80's the Macho Man had sex with a then-underage Stephanie, ooh yeah, resulting in Vince blackballing him. But not before giving Savage the WWF World Title twice, and having him go over Ric Flair. When his decomposing body was found by his mom(after she wondered why he hadn't come up out of the basement to sign for his new Star Trek Voyager computer game), he was so fat that it took 6 adult men to lift his rotting carcass out of the basement and to the morgue. Well, what's what it said on 1wrestling.com anyway. Has his own special tribute page on the WrestleCrap site, joining John Tenta as the only other guy to have such a page. Although when Ed Leslie passes away, it is rumored he will also get his own page. Leslie however is not 800 pounds of pure fat, and thus likely will outlive RD Reynolds, Blade Braxton, and Triple Kelly.. There is however a sad moral to the tale of Merle Vincent. Namely that being a 800-pound tub of goo who lives in his parents' basement, molests little girls, eats fatty fried junk food, doesn't exercise, and masturbates to old Crockett VHS tapes can actually be unhealthy, and result in depression. Who could have thought that eh? No really? Anyone?
|
