| abstract | - The Dirdy Firdy Author's Note: I've decided to pass the time with a one-shot with everyone's favorite couple, Phinbella! Unfortunely, they'll be both subjected into the most unlikely parody ever conceived: John R. Dilworth's The Dirdy Birdy. In this story, the roles are reversed with Isabella as the crush and Phineas as the crushee. Enjoy the madness of love.... _ P&F Fanon Presents.... "THE DIRDY FIRDY" Isabella looks around the neighborhood, sitting on a branch of the Flynn/Fletcher tree in the backyard. For some reason, she is staring upon the houses with an expression of determination, waiting for something to happen. As she continued, Phineas climbed up on the branch, surprising the girl. "Oh," she said. "Hi, Phineas." "Whatcha' doing?" he asked, completely stealing her catchphrase. "Nothing." Phineas stared the raven-haired girl with intense affections. Ever since they met, he has been harboring a massive crush on her with imaginary hearts floating around his head. Isabella looked at the dazed, love-filled look on his face and turned back to the view. The triangle-headed boy, wanting to show his feelings towards in some special way, grabbed his pants and... ...mooned his rear at her. Blinking back at what she thought what had happened, Isabella looked back at Phineas who pulled his pants back up before she see. When Isabella turned back, he mooned her again. She turned, pants pulled up. Turned away, mooned again. Turned back, pants pulled. Turn. Moon. Turn. Panted. Turn. Moon. Turn. Panted. This pattern continued on and one until Phineas finally forced her head back and mooned her as he wished. "Get outta here!" Isabella yelled. She punched him straight off the tree, groaning in disgust. However, Phineas climbed back the tree and mooned her again. This time, she kicked him away with a cartoon-styled big combat boot. Isabella looked at the bottom of her boot, surprised to find Phineas still mooning her. In response, she tired to whack the boy off. She turned the boot. No Phineas. She flipped it twice. Mooning Phineas! Isabella tossed the boot (with Phineas) right into the ground. "Gah!" she moaned. "What is with Phineas?" Unfortunely, Phineas returned to the branch and continued to moon her with a flower between the butt cheeks. Isabella, in disgust, pulled out a flamethrower and torched his butt into a smoking pile of ashes. (Harsh, huh?) She brushed Phineas' ashes into a envelope and marked it, "Return to Maker, Dan Povernmire & Jeff 'Swampy' Marsh". Just then, Baljeet, as a mail carrier, grabbed the letter and stuffed in his mailbag. Before she could sigh with relief, Baljeet with a rather large package. Isabella, being the curious and nosey person that she is, opened the package, revealing...you-know-who. Phineas, with his bare butt at her face, shouted, "SURPRISE!" Irritated to the brink, Isabella pulled out a convient tank of helium from a hole in the tree and plugged the hose right up Phineas'....well...yeah...you get the picture. Anywho, she turned the handle on the tank, inflating Phineas' butt into a double-twin balloon, tied them together and popped them both with a bobby pin from her hair. Isabella dropped the now buttless Phineas and said, "Now, Phineas, will you quit with the mooning? It's gross!" The triangle-headed boy looked at the hole that once was his behind. He stood up and looked at Isabella as if he was gonna do something. Instead, he began to drool some spit and did that gross little trick (You know, the one where you suck the spit in and out). The trick began to anger the girl, basically. Isabella began putting on her Fireside Girl radiation suit (they all have one, you know), pulled out a barrel of radioactive waste and dunked Phineas into the ooze. Glowing bright green, he gave a thumbs-up before completely disappearing from thin air. Isabella smiled with a hint of success. _ The next day, Isabella still sat in the tree in peace before Phineas returned and mooned her as usual. However, unlike last time, Isabella didn't react. Phineas said, "Huh?" He continued to try and attract the girl's attention with several unusual butt antics like slapping his cheeks like hands and blowing his butt horn (No, literally, a HORN from his ass). Isabella remained still. The lack of notice began to bother Phineas and a feeling of loneliness grew. Thinking about his dirty antics from before, he said, "Isabella..if you'll listen...I'm sorry about the way I was acting." He tried to his hand on her shoulder, only to miss and reveal that what he was talking to was actually a cardboard stand of Isabella. "Gah!" Phineas looked at the cardboard Izzy with a hint of worry. As he stared at the fake face of his crush, a wave of sadness washed over himself. Did...Isabella get tired of me? Phineas thought, fearing the fact that his best friend had abandoned him over all the butt stuff he was pulling off before. However, to his delight, he could see Isabella climbing back up the tree with groceries. The boy hopped with joy as Isabella began to stuff her food into the treehole, not even looking at Phineas. "Isabella," he yelled. "You're back! You didn't abandon me!" Phineas ran over to the girl, arms opened for a hug. Unfortunely, he ended up "hugging" the Fireside Girl-Brand iron shield that Isabella pulled out before impact. Isabella said, "Not this time, Phineas." The girl climbed into the tree hole and closed the hidden door. Phineas, broken and defeated, cried right there. Isabella could hear the triangle-headed boy sobbing from outside on the branch, ignoring him. Phineas thought, Well, without Isabella here..with me..there's nothing to live for. With that, he laid on the branch with a white flower over his chest, awaiting death. Isabella, for a brief moment, looked back at the crying boy, only to see the Grim Reaper preparing to reap his soul. "What are you doing?!" Isabella jumped into action. The Grim Reaper stared at Phineas and looked at Isabella before shaking his head at the girl for what she had done. In response, the girl began to hit at the Reaper with a frying pan (which she just had). After scaring off Death, Isabella sat Phineas up and said, "Phineas, I don't understand what you've been doing to me for the last few days, but could you explain?" Phineas replied, "Better yet, I'll show you." Then, in a disgustingly cartoon-style display, Phineas somehow yanked out his still-beating heart as a symbol of his love for her. However, this was more gross than the mooning. "Phineas!" she yelled. "What the heck is wrong with you?!" The boy frowned again, swallowed his heart back and returned back to "dead" stage. She growled with annoyance and straighten Phineas back up. Phineas went into his love-dazed stare again before Isabella pulled out a horrifyingly scary face. "GRRRRWWWLLL!" She roared. There was a brief silence until Phineas busted into laughter. "Hahahahah!" he chuckled. "That's a good face, Isabella! I bet I can do one better!" He stretched back and broke out an even more scary-looking face."BBBLLLAAAAAHHHHH!!" Again, there was silence until..."Heheheheheh!" Isabella laughed. "Phineas, that was awesome!" They both then pulled out some of the scariest faces, trying to outdo each other and laughing it up in the process. Phineas and Isabella were both having a blast... ....until Phineas, once again, tried to moon her. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEY HEY HEY HEY! The End _ The last line was from "The Big Laugh" from Jurgen Schlachter (Don't even ask, I just heard from Dirdy Birdy so I don't know either). -Creep E. Crawly Man
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