| abstract | - That was weird. Lyn was back on Earth now, her watch transporter functioning properly. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to be on Earth any longer. She ran for Zim's base, toward the malfunctioning Voot cruiser. She didn't want to attempt to call the Tallests from Zim's base — they were irritated to no end by Zim and probably ignored his calls. No, this required a trip to the Massive. Lyn had been working on the now-fixed Voot when Zim arrived, nearly steaming with anger, Lyn thought, until she realized it was raining out. "Out of my base!" he cried. "Out, you filthy traitor slug! Now!" "Okay," Lyn said, shrugging and getting into the Voot and taking off. Zim gaped up at her as she flew off into space. This was good, she thought. Now she could get to the Tallest and talk one-on-one; then, she could attempt an attack on a new planet... and maybe even start Operation Impending Doom 3! She just hadn't counted on an unexpected visitor. "Phineas?" Lyn gasped. Phineas looked sheepish. "Uh, yeah." "Shouldn't you be back at your house with that green-haired kid and that girl who likes you and that teal plata-whatever?" "That, my friend, is classified information." Lyn sighed and kept driving. She could see a small red speck in the distance: the Massive. "Seriously, why are you here?" She wasn't really interested; all she knew was that this kid could wreck her entire rep with the Tallests. "I wanted to learn more about space," he said. "I mean, we're not in the Milky Way anymore. This is farther than any human has gone." "Of course it is," snapped Lyn. "Us Irkens are way better than you humans." Phineas looked slightly annoyed, but continued speaking. "Wherever you're going is probably really interesting... I just wanted to see." "Kid, do you know how much trouble I could get in if the Tallests see you?" Lyn said as the red speck grew larger and larger. They were very close to the Massive. "A lot. They definitely won't expect me to be bringing back someone I'm supposed to be raining doom on! You're going to have to wait in the Voot." "Wait," said Phineas. "I have a better idea. Do you have any handcuffs?" "Yes..." "Put them on me," Phineas said. "You can show how much better you're doing than Zim at conquering the humans." "You'd do that?" Lyn asked. "Sure," Phineas said. "It's not like you're actually going to conquer us — are you?" "Maybe," said Lyn, grinning. The two made their way through the halls of the Massive a few minutes later, trying to find the room where the Tallests were. "This place is like a labyrinth," Phineas observed, looking around while behind him his handcuffs glowed. "Quiet," said Lyn. "I'm trying to find where the Tallests are." "Maybe over there?" Phineas said, stepping over his handcuffs and pointing at a large door. There was a sign on it that read, "Call Room. Keep out." "How did I not see that?" Lyn said. She noticed a small intercom next to the door and tentatively pushed the button on it. "State your business," a deep voice said. "I'm Lyn. Let me in." The doors opened and the Tallest stood there. Phineas's eyes widened at the sight of them, and Lyn couldn't tell whether he was acting or he really was shocked by... their height? Their awesomeness? "Lyn?" asked Red. "I thought we sent you to Hobo 13." "Yeah!" chimed in Purple, grabbing a fistful of donuts from the bag he was holding. "You did," said Lyn. "Then I crashed on Earth..." She recounted her whole tale... or most of it. She completely took out the part where she saved the moon and kissed Dib. The Tallests didn't need to know that. "...and then I got the Phineas boy, here." Lyn pointed at Phineas, who acted as though he was scared out of his wits. It was tough, seeing as he was surrounded by advanced technology that was very interesting to him. Red looked thoughtful while Purple continued to eat his donuts. "Well," he said after a moment. "You certainly are doing better than Zim." Told you, Phineas mouthed to Lyn. Purple swallowed, then said, "Let me see the boy." "What are you going to do to him?" Lyn asked, trying not to sound too defensive. "So this is what humans look like..." Red said. "I'm surprised Zim hasn't annihilated them yet, they seem fairly weak." Purple looked at Phineas. "Are they all this short?" Lyn thought to Ferb, Isabella, and all the other people she had met on Earth. "They grow taller as they get older." "Really!" Red said. "Are all their heads shaped this way, too?" "No." "Interesting." "You seem to have done well," Purple said, shaking the bag of donuts at her. A few fell out onto the floor. "In fact, we may make you in charge of dominating Earth instead of Zim!" "Oh, really?" said Lyn, but inside, she was nervous... If Zim heard about this, he'd be angrier than he was before. "Yes, yes... don't you think?" Purple said, chomping on another donut and turning to Red. "Oh yes," Red said. "Well, we'll do this. How about we send you back to Earth with tools, and if you prove to be successful in capturing more humans, we'll make you an official invader." "Okay," Lyn said. Red handed her the tools she needed to set up a base while Purple went and got a SIR unit for her. Lyn looked at the SIR unit uneasily. She most definitely needed the new one — that was obvious — but she wasn't sure how RiRi would feel about the new SIR. "Well, off you go!" said Purple. "Catch us some humans!" The door closed behind Lyn. Behind the Tallests, the same deep voice shouted, "Incoming transmission from Earth!" "Lyn?" asked Red. "She wouldn't be there now." "Probably Zim," grumbled Purple. Sure enough, everyone's favorite red-eyed alien appeared on the screen. "MY TALLEST!" he shouted. "I have been TRAITORIZED!" "Well, that's great, Zim," said Red. "But, uh —" "It's snack inspection day!" interjected Purple. "...yes, snack inspection day. So we've got to go to that, okay, bye." They cut the transmission. Meanwhile, Phineas and Lyn were in Lyn's new Voot cruiser, heading back to Earth. "Where were you?" Isabella asked as Phineas walked into his backyard. The rain had stopped and the ground was incredibly dry from the sun. "Out," said Phineas, rubbing his wrists. Those handcuffs really hurt. Isabella raised an eyebrow. "Out where?" "...space..." "With Lyn?" Isabella's face was getting darker and darker, and Phineas quickly said, "Isabella, it's not like that. I don't like her." I bet, Isabella thought, getting to her feet and leaving the backyard. Meanwhile, Zim sat in his darkened living room, the only source of light coming from the static-y screen in front of him that the Tallest had cut the transmission on. He was staring blankly at the screen when GIR jumped on his head and scared the living daylights of him. "Let's make biscuits! Let's make tacos! Let's make biscuit-tacos!" GIR shouted as Zim attempted to pry him off. "Let's make biscuit-tacos with Phineas and Ferb!" "GIR!" said Zim. "Have I not trained you well enough to not make friends with the humans?!" "Me and them are frieeeends." Zim sighed. "Fine, we'll go make... biscuit-tacos." Zim put GIR in his disguise and latched him to a leash. They were walking towards Maple Drive when Dib leapt out of nowhere. "Where'ya goin'?" he asked, his face holding a devilish smile. "None of your business, hyu-man! Come on, GIR!" Zim yanked the leash and GIR slid across the ground, scuffing up his green dog costume. Zim assumed that Dib had gone, but five seconds later when he tripped and was on the ground, he realized Dib hadn't left. Dib was on the ground too, in stitches of laughter. "You should have seen your face!" he called as Zim indignantly got up and walked into Phineas and Ferb's backyard. "FILTHY HYU-MANS!" Zim cried. "Zim is here to ask... would you like to make biscuit-tacos?" "Er... what?" Ferb asked. Zim slumped and rolled his eyes. "I dunno. Ask GIR." He held GIR up by the leash. "HI THERE!" GIR cried, swinging around from Zim's three-fingered fist. "Is it supposed to be stupid?" Phineas asked. "It's not stupid," said Zim. "IT'S ADVANCED!" "Whatever you say," Phineas said. "He is the most advanced in Irken technology," Zim said, although he wasn't too sure-sounding. "He's got a paperclip in his head," Ferb said. GIR had climbed over to him and the top of his head had opened up. "YES! A PETTY DISGUISE FOR TECHNOLOGY WAY OVER YOUR FILTHY HEADS!" yelled Zim. "COME, GIR!" "WHEE HEE!" GIR screamed in response, and skipped over to his master. They walked out of the yard. "I wonder if they're all like that," Ferb mused. Phineas had to agree with him. Crash. Isabelle Garcio-Shapira sat straight up in bed, eyes wide. She had just heard a horrible noise outside her house. Pushing back the covers and getting up to look out the window, her eyes widened even more. Lyn was setting up her base, and while she attempted to keep it quiet, it definitely attracted attention. Isabelle opened her window, slid down the trellis, and ran down the hill. Her house was at the top, because she was the richest in the neighborhood and hence she had the biggest house. Isabelle couldn't really see what was going on, but she could see Lyn, her purply-black hair gleaming in the light from the streetlights. She patted her pockets for her cellphone — if she could expose Lyn... She had left it in her bedroom. Muttering under her breath, Isabelle climbed up her trellis once more and sat on her roof, watching as the house constructed itself and Lyn walked in as nonchalantly as if she were going to her actual home. Climbing back into bed, Isabelle found her cellphone. She opened it up and dialed Kenzie's number, then added in Isabel for a conference call. "So about that rumor we were going to spread about Lyn and Zim..." The next day Lyn walked to school alone, thinking about her base and hoping it wouldn't be destroyed by RiRi and her other new SIR that was locked in a permanent duty mode like a normal SIR. She had dubbed it "RiRi II" for lack of a better name, as she was low on time while thinking. "Heeey, Lyn!" A voice behind her, pompous and singsong, called out. It was a voice that Lyn had never heard before. Then she heard Isabel and Isabelle's voices. "Yeah, Lyn!" "How's Zim?" "Traitorized," Lyn muttered under her breath, smiling. "Are you in lurrrvveee?" "Have you guys kissed yet?" Lyn wheeled around. "Are you normally this annoying, or does it come naturally?" They all grinned — no, leered — at her. "Come on, everyone knows you're totally falling for Zim." If only they knew, thought Lyn, as she shook her head. "Uh, no. I don't think so." "We saw you holding hands the other day," Kenzie said. "It was sooooo cute," added Isabelle. "Mhm, I bet," said Lyn, turning away from them. "Well! I've got to go now." She took off down the street. Kenzie started after her, but Isabelle caught her by the shoulder. "Don't worry, Jolie. We'll get her," she said, an evil smile forming on her pale face. Lyn got to school without any further interruptions and sat down just as the bell rang. She was halfway into answering most of the questions as normal when she saw a bit of paper being passed around the classroom. Kids were snickering, and it eventually fell into Phineas's hands, who managed to send it back to Lyn through Zita. Lyn opened up the letter and in three different colors of pen — black, red, and pink — it said: "Seen any lurrve in the air? I have! Lyn and Zim, perhaps? You betcha britches, Jolieee! They are so a match made in heaven. A match made in heaven sparks the fires in the down place. AHAHAHAHA SO TRUE! LaZr. LULZ! Totally. Hey, what about that kid with the spiky hair, Dibs or whatever? Dibs is an ice cream, idiot. Yeah, seriously, if you're going to spread rumors, go about it the right way. I heard the craziest rumor about them. Do tell. The note cut off there, and Lyn narrowed her eyes and crumpled the paper into a ball in her fist. Taking aim, she shot it at the back of Kenzie's head. Hard. Unfortunately for Lyn, Kenzie was one of those ditzy girls who screamed when they barely touched something, and hence she let out a bloodcurdling scream. "MacKenzie Love!" cried Ms. Tarchi. "What is the meaning of this?" "SOMEONE SHOT ME!" Kenzie replied, still at top volume. "And Zim thought he was bad," muttered Zim. "I highly doubt no one shot you," said Lyn from her dark corner, smirking. "I mean, guns in school are illegal, and if you were shot, you'd be —" "That's quite enough, Lyn," said Ms. Tarchi in a clipped voice. "Now, MacKenzie, I want you to go down to Principal Brady's office. You've got detention." "But, Ms. Tarchi!" Kenzie cried, swinging around her long mane of blonde hair indignantly. "Shouldn't the person who hurt me get detention instead?" Kenzie honestly had no idea who threw the wadded-up ball of paper at her head. All she knew was that person was going to pay. And if it was Lyn... she would increase the payback. It was war. Meanwhile, Zim had not wasted his time narrowing his eyes at Lyn, rather like what Isabella was doing to Phineas, because she still didn't believe that he and Lyn were just friends (she didn't see Lyn and Dib kiss). Outside, he cornered her and started chewing her out. "You filthy litle slug monkey, you dare be a traitor to ZIM! You dare lock lips with that big-headed Earth scum! You dare take my technology, you little —" "Hey," said Lyn, an insane idea forming in her head. "Are you... jealous?" She smirked and Zim scowled. "Absolutely not. Zim needs no love." "Well, we certainly think so." It was Isabelle and Isabel, Kenzie inside serving her detention for screaming in class. Isabelle seized Zim by the shoulders while Isabel got out her cellphone camera. Isabelle pushed Zim forward, and Lyn kicked him in the stomach as self-defense. Now Lyn was mad. She had remembered hearing about arranged marriages in history class, and she certainly felt like she was in one now. "What was that for?!" she screeched, taking Isabelle off Zim and screaming at her. "I was just trying to help," Isabelle said, attempting to sound innocent and failing. "Rumor is you and Zim haven't kissed yet." "THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE ZIM!" screamed Lyn. "IN FACT, I HATE HIS SQUIRMY GUTS!" And with that, she took off running from the schoolyard. She didn't care how much trouble she got in for this; all she knew was that she was one step away from calling up RiRi II and annihilating the school. She ran, ran until she reached the end of Black Brook Road, and ran inside the house. RiRi came and hugged her ankles. "HI LYN!" Lyn smiled slightly. It wasn't possible to be mad when RiRi was around, for some reason. RiRi II came walking in from the kitchen. "Greetings master!" she said in her robotic voice, saluting with red eyes. "Hello, RiRi II." "MEE?" RiRi asked. Lyn facepalmed. "Yes, I definitely need to name RiRi II something different. Okay, how about... KiKi?" It was the best she could come up with, because she was still insanely mad at Zim, Isabelle, and Isabel. KiKi saluted again. "Thank you master!" she said. "You're welcome," Lyn said. In between thinking about how angry she was at Zim and how awkward it would be to attempt to talk to Dib, Purple's message was still bouncing around her head. "Catch us some humans!" It taunted her every time she felt like she failed as an invader. "Catch us some humans!" Lyn got up from the couch and decided it was time for action, although she did vow to, no matter how mad she got at Zim, take off his PAK. That would just be cruel. Meanwhile, Phineas and Ferb were in their backyard when Isabella walked in, looking stormy towards Phineas. "Oh, hello, Ferb," she said. Good luck trying to strike up a conversation with Ferb, thought Phineas. Ferb only really talked to Phineas. No one else. "So how about that science project, huh? Sounds like we're going to get a good grade on it." We're? Phineas thought, slightly hurt. They're working with each other? Ferb nodded. "Well, we'll need to do loads of work on it, and —" "Isabella, can you please stop being mad at me?" "I have good reason to be irritated," she said, not even sparing him a glance. "What do you mean?" "Going to space to help Lyn?" "I was doing her a favor, Isabella." "Helping her take over the planet? Whose side are you on, anyway?" "Look," said Phineas. "If she's anything like Zim, and she just might be, she'll fail at this." Isabella softened. "Oh, fine," she said. "I can't stay mad at you anyway." Phineas smiled. Just then, Lyn walked in. "Have you guys seen Zim? I want to punch him." Ferb started snickering, but Phineas said, "No, haven't seen him, sorry." "Can you guys help me out?" she asked. "All of you?" "Sure" was the general reply. "Good," said Lyn. "Come to my base..." Soon enough, the four of them were in Lyn's base. "So!" said Lyn. "My Tallest have commanded me to 'catch some humans'. I'm not going to capture you guys, so don't sulk about it. I want to know where Isabelle, Isabel, and Kenzie are." "Oh, my gosh," said Phineas, shaking with laughter. "This is hilarious." "Yeah, I'm a comedian," said Lyn, bored. "You want to help me with this?" "Sure. But can you disguise us?" asked Isabella. Lyn nodded. "Yep." She waved a hand over herself and became invisible, then took her disguising mechanism and disguised Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella as Avon sellers. "As much as I think this would appeal to Isabelle, I don't quite fancy being a girl," Ferb said, looking down at his peach blouse. "Can we try something that requires me to stay as a boy?" "Which of you is okay with being mauled by Isabelle?" Lyn asked Phineas and Ferb. Neither of them spoke. "Oh, come on," said Lyn, exasperated. "Surely you've been mauled by her plenty of times." "Too many," muttered Phineas. Lyn took him by the shoulders and put him in the disguising mechanism again. When he came out, he looked completely different. He had a very familiar-looking shaggy mop of light-brown hair... "Oh my gosh," Isabella whispered, then burst out laughing. "HE'S JUSTIN BIEBER!" She and Ferb broke down laughing. A couple minutes later, they were standing outside the door of the familiar sprawling pale-blue house at the top of Black Brook Road. "Isabelle really is too rich for her own good," said Isabella, looking up at how tall the mansion was. Just then, the door opened and Isabelle stood there. "What?" "Is your name Isabelle Garcio-Shapira?" Ferb asked. "Yes..." Isabelle started. "But whatever it was, I didn't do it!" "We just wanted to let you know you were entered in a chance to meet Justin Bieber and you won," Isabella said, attempting to hold in her giggles. "So... here he is!" Phineas sashayed forward. "Baybee, baybee, baybee, OHH!" "OHHHHHHHMIGOSH!" Isabelle screamed, mauling Phineas. "JUSTINILOVEYOUSOMUCH — KENZIE! ISABEL!" They came running up, too, and had the same reaction as Isabelle. The three of them smothered Phineas while Lyn captured, in order, Isabelle, then Isabel, then Kenzie. "AAAH IT'S DARK!" squealed Isabelle. "OH MY GOSH, ISABELLE, YOU JUST KICKED ME IN THE STOMACH!" screeched Kenzie. "BOTH OF YOU SHUT YOUR TRAPS NOW!" yelled Isabel. "SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" "You fell for it!" said Phineas. "Prepare to be taken to a faraway planet!" They loaded the girls in a spare Voot cruiser that could only use auto-pilot, then started it up. Lyn punched in the coordinates for the Massive and left a sticky note attatched to Isabelle's forehead that read: "Here are your humans, my Tallest! Love, Lyn." The cruiser took off into space and the four kids collapsed in the middle of the street, roaring with laughter. "I can't believe she fell for that," said Lyn, calming down. "Isabelle will fall for anything. She's that gullible," said Phineas. "I've learned," said Lyn, grinning. "Well, I have one last thing I need to do before I start planning to capture you all." "What's that?" Phineas asked, as Lyn began to get up and run away. Then the last part of her sentence sunk in. "Wait, what?!" Lyn knocked on the big door of the large house that loomed in front of her. It was quiet except for the buzzing of the electric fence or whatever it was. The door opened and a girl with dark reddish-purple hair answered the door, playing on a Gameslave. "What do you want?" Lyn had half a mind to run away at that moment, but she swallowed and said, "Can I speak to Dib?" "DIB!" the girl yelled, not looking away from her game. "YOUR CREEPY GIRLFRIEND'S HERE!" Lyn winced as Dib came down the stairs. His hair looked slightly disheveled and was not its usual spiky self. "Have you been up late or something...?" asked Lyn. "What?" he asked, running a hand absentmindedly over his hair. "Yeah... been trying to get evidence on Zim..." "Sounds... rough." "You don't know the half of it." "I don't?" Dib smiled weakly. "Don't mess with my brain when it's running on no sleep." "Sorry," Lyn said, smiling. "Look... sorry about that whole thing after the moon..." "It's okay." He smiled again, then said, "Did Zim chew you out about it?" "You bet. Well..." Lyn looked at her feet. "I've got to go. You take a nap or something, whatever humans do." "Can do," said Dib, and as he closed the door, he staggered into the living room, collapsed on the couch, and was out like a light.
|
