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| rdfs:comment | - The Evelyn War (October 28 1903 – April 10 1966) was a gruesome war, documented in such satirical and darkly humorous historical novels as Decline and Fall of the Grue Empire, Vile Grue Remains and Bride's Head Regurgitated by a Grue. Dubbed as "the war to end all wars, at least until the next one happens", it was a bitter fight to the death between Captain Obvious and the Grues, though it was ultimately pointless because neither side could be defeated.
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| Strength | - The size of a fridge, the strength of Chuck Norris, OMFG RUN!
- He is a superhero
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| Result | - Stalemate, with some dead grues
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| Place | - Primarily London, Oxford and Outer Space
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| abstract | - The Evelyn War (October 28 1903 – April 10 1966) was a gruesome war, documented in such satirical and darkly humorous historical novels as Decline and Fall of the Grue Empire, Vile Grue Remains and Bride's Head Regurgitated by a Grue. Dubbed as "the war to end all wars, at least until the next one happens", it was a bitter fight to the death between Captain Obvious and the Grues, though it was ultimately pointless because neither side could be defeated. In 1944, British war critic Oscar Wilde pronounced the Evelyn War "the only third-rate war that has been fought since the War on Terror, and we all know how that one ended", while a writer for Time magazine declared that the war had "developed a wickedly hilarious yet fundamentally religious assault on a century that, in some guy's opinion, had ripped up the nourishing taproot of tradition and let wither all the dear things of the world". The question of what the hell this reporter was talking about went on to plague and divide historians for generations, and would, coupled with an unfortunate incident involving a time machine, eventually cause the war itself, and lead to the amendment of the definition of "history" in the Oxford English Dictionary to the single word "bunk".
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