| rdfs:comment | - Frey was born in 1948 in Royal Oak, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit (but NOT part of the Royal Oak Charter Township, and don’t you forget it!) He was a handsome kid, but too short to compete with the local football players when it came to getting women. Desperate, he looked around for a solution. It came to him in a dream. In this dream, a guitar floated towards him with a pair of black lace panties dangling from its neck. “Take the guitar. Learn how to play,” the voice intoned, “And one day, black lace panties will be dangling from YOUR neck.” Frey woke up and got a guitar that day.
|
| abstract | - Frey was born in 1948 in Royal Oak, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit (but NOT part of the Royal Oak Charter Township, and don’t you forget it!) He was a handsome kid, but too short to compete with the local football players when it came to getting women. Desperate, he looked around for a solution. It came to him in a dream. In this dream, a guitar floated towards him with a pair of black lace panties dangling from its neck. “Take the guitar. Learn how to play,” the voice intoned, “And one day, black lace panties will be dangling from YOUR neck.” Frey woke up and got a guitar that day. He also decided to parlay the piano lessons he couldn’t get out of into part of his schtick for the girls. “Yeah, I play guitars, and I play rock piano too... not the wussy piano music, the cool kind, really!” It started to work. Soon Frey was scoring with the ladies. He decided to get a band together called the Hideout, hoping that the owner of the Hideout club would be flattered enough to hire them to play... and it actually worked! Mission accomplished, he moved on to the Subterraneans, thinking their name was cooler, then the Mushrooms. Contrary to popular belief, this name had NOTHING to do with drugs at all. The boys simply enjoyed mushroom pizza. They cut a single entitled “Such a Lovely Child” in which Frey attempted to fake a British accent. He realized this was a mistake when even his own mother ran from the room screaming when he played the 45. He became depressed and joined bands with such horribly uncool names as The Four of Us, The Heavy Metal Kids, and The Yellow Polka-Dot Bikinis. But one good thing that came from this was Frey’s new friendship with Bob Seger. He followed Seger around relentlessly, begging Seger to please, please, please, please, please let him appear on one of his albums. Finally, after Frey broke down sobbing at Seger’s 128,523rd refusal, he took pity on the pathetic boy and allowed him to sing backup on "Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man." After Seger threw him this crumb, Frey was convinced that he was destined to be a big rock star and decided to head to L.A. It helped that he knew there was a hot babe there who would let him crash with her, because, amazingly enough, he had no money or job to support himself. He was also encouraged to go by Seger, who told him he could have all the free drugs and sex he wanted if he would just go to California. Frey had no way of knowing Seger just wanted the annoying kid out of his hair. Once in Los Angeles, Frey’s girlfriend hooked him up with JD Souther. After both men were dumped by their respective women, they decided to form a band called Longbranch Pennywhistle. They hoped the phallic implications of such a name would get them new women willing to "play" their “pennywhistles.” They also decided that they might as well record some songs, too. To everyone's astonishment, the label collapsed, despite its ability to sign acts that could put out masterful pieces of art such as Longbranch Pennywhistle's “Bring Back Funky Women” and “The Star-Spangled Bus.”
|
