| abstract | - René is behind the bar of his café, when Gruber enters. He says he has problem sleeping, because the Italian captain Bertorelli sleeps in his quarters and he snores a lot. He therefore asks René for a spare room at the café. René says they all snore at the café and so Gruber would not want to sleep there; Gruber meant for Bertorelli to stay there. René does not like the idea, but Edith, who has just come downstairs, does and so, it is settled that Gruber will pay 1,000 francs per night to let the Italian captain stay at the café. Herr Flick is still imprisoned, clad only in women's undergarments and chained to the wall of the dungeon. Helga visits him and tells him that Von Smallhausen has a plan to get him out. She is also allowed to kiss him before she leaves. Edith is singing at the café - to everybody's dismay. Finishing the song, her last note is so high it makes several glasses break. Then, Yvette tells René he is wanted in the backroom. When they are in there, it turns out she is the one who "wants" him, but they do not have time for very much cuddling, because very soon, Michelle turns up in the company of monsieur Alfonse, coming through the window. Michelle has important news for everyone and while Yvette calls for them, Alfonse reveals he has a meter, ticking away and charging money for the time he spends there. When everybody (René, Edith, Yvette and Mimi) have gathered around, Michelle reveals plans to photograph the chateau safe, so that monsieur LeClerc can identify how to open the it. He will then be brought there by the resistance to open it, so they can photograph its contents - the plans for the invasion of England. The photographs of the plans will then be transferred to microfilm and sent to London by carrier pigeon, supplied by the RAF. As they have no film for the camera (since all film has been confiscated by the Germans) they plan for Yvette to pose for the colonel, while Mimi steals the film from his camera. Gruber is acting as colonel Von Strohm's temporary secretarey, when general Von Klinkerhoffen arrives. He tells them that Berlin is aware of herr Flick's disappearance and will therefore send a "bigshot" to investigate. In order to eliminate all traces of what they have done to him, they will destroy all papers concerning his arrest, whereupon the colonel and the lieutenant are to disguise themselves as members of the resistance, help him to escape and take him to a pre-arranged location. He will then be shot accidentally in a military ambush. As for how they will break into the dungeon, the general leaves it to them. Captain Bertorelli arrives at the café, driving a car and having three women with him. Officer Crabtree complains that he is not allowed to park the car outside the café, but the captain does not care. Instead, he forces Crabtree at gunpoint to carry his bags inside. Mimi is then ordered to take them upstairs, which she does, after having kicked them and thrown them up the stairs. Crabtree says he wants his bicycle (the one being used as a dynamo for the radio) back. He cannot have it yet since they must contact London right away to ask for a carrier pigeon. René and Edith do not have time to do it, but Yvette is to use the radio, while monsieur LeClerc is to ride the dynamo bicycle. At first, he does not peddle fast enough, but when Fanny shows him her legs, he begins peddling away, outputting enough power for the radio. He even makes too much, so the radio explodes and dies. Helga contacts René by the fountain in the square and tells him that herr Flick is about to crack and may reveal them all. Von Smallhausen has a plan to get him out, but it requires René to disguise himself as Heinrich Himmler (herr Flick's godfather and leader of the Gestapo). After he has agreed to the plan, even though he is smaller, fatter, younger and balder than Himmler and does not speak German, LeClerc brings food for the British airmen, who are hiding in two nearby dustbins. That same evening, Helga, Edith, René (disguised as Himmler) and Von Smallhausen go to the chateau in a car. Meanwhile, the colonel and the lieutenant are preparing their own plan to get herr Flick out, by disguising themselves as members of the Gestapo (wearing big black leather overcoats, black hats and canes), so they can blame the Gestapo for rescuing herr Flick before they could do it. Once the "Himmler gang" have entered the chateau dungeons (easily getting past the guards), they unlock herr Flick's chains. He then takes Von Smallhausens gun and at gunpoint forces René to switch clothes and places with him. Meanwhile, the colonel and the lieutenant also easily get past the guards and enter the dungeons. There, they are informed that Himmler has just been there, but he did not take the prisoner with him. As they enter the dungeon, they become very surprised to find René chained to the wall, wearing women's undergarments. He begs them to get him out, but it turns out that Himmler has taken the keys to the wrist irons. René then tells them how he and the others freed herr Flick. The colonel and the lieutenant promise to help him get out, but as they cannot do this right now, they leave him there for the time being.
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