| abstract | - Write the first section of your page here.
- Independence Day is a Deadlands Dime Novel written by Matt Forbeck and Chris Snyder, with the original concept by Shane Lacy Hensley. It was originally published in 1997 with a short story featuring Ronan Lynch during Dodge City's Fourth of July celebrations and included a companion scenario for Deadlands Classic which allowed a posse to experience the same events as the novel. The short story was rereleased in 2011 without the accompanying companion scenario.
- *CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH* Into Crystal City comes the last person anyone would expect to see in the current climate. Clad in gold and purple ceremonial robes, the imposing figure is still easily recognisable as Galvatron himself, a large ornate hood pulled over his helmet, yet his optics smoldering brightly beneath. "The Festival Cybertronia" he growls, his voice as gravel as he looks about the square. "Held in such a place of /cowardice/. Still, it will suffice" Tailing along at the end of Galvatron's entourage(if ther is an entourage?) is Redshift. His weapons are stowed safely away, a rare sight for this hot-headed warrior, and he seems nervous because if it. Or is there another reason fro his apparant unease? Perhaps the chilling prohecies of Goldpaver have begun to affect him... Notably, the phrase 'one of the shifts will die'. "And SO.. the ENTIRE fleet was crumbling before me. I could hardly believe it with my own optics! Why, the very NOTION of Jormungandr Fleet meeting its match is just.. ridiculous!" An orange Decepticon space soldier in shimmering blue toga relates to its two listeners. His expression one of aghast and amusement, the momvements of his arms so wide-sweeping as he exclaims every other word that gobs of oil come flying from his goblet. "......" Ramjet listens with a blank look on his face. His optics downcast, as he tries to think of something else while the orange Decepticon details his story. Pain stabs at his innermost wiring, out of frustration and boredom. That same old, tired story of Jormungandr Fleet being destroyed at Sector 9532-X. Ramjet shakes his head slightly and breathes a sigh as he raises his goblet of fuel to his lips. Knocking back a hefty draught, Ramjet tilts his head back down and continues to listen to that same old, tired story. His fingers running over the shimmery material of his toga, his circuits clogge with trying to figure out how to extricate himself out of this. A stage has been erected in the centre of the square, with a banner declaring "Liberty Cybertronia" hung above it. A diorama of some Quintessons being horribly massacred is off to the side, while a large buffet table is the centrepiece of the area. Because you celebrate liberty with nibbles. Shockwave strolls into Memorial Square from The Academe sector, for some reason the purple cyclops had business at the library. What a nerd. He is currently alone and simply passing by at first glance. Scrapper is not smack dab in the middle of the parade to Crystal City. No, some yellow construction mech with purplish highlights is there, though. This previously little-known Decepticon seems a lot more nervous than most of the other Decepticons here, even though this is supposed to be a cause for celebration and partying hard. Perhaps the excitement of having so much safe fun has gotten to him? Galvatron stops as he narrows his optics at the appearance of Shockwave, and raises his right hand to sharply snap his fingers at Redshift. This is the non-verbal command for Redshift to go fetch him something from the buffet, but what Redshift will interpret it as is anyone's guess. Meanwhile, a few Decepticon gumbies in neon pink togas are wandering about. "Well!" says one. "I decapitated the guy like THIS!" He swings his very sharp-looking plate and it flies out of his hand accidently, arcing in the direction of Redshift's neck! Oh no is Comcast late? Transforming was out, he'd ruin his beautiful orange toga, and flying was out too, because the wind kept blowing the loosely-attached garment off him. So he's forced to run on foot as best he can with the toga rustling around his legs with every stride he takes. Before long he's found some of his Seekerkind, one talking away pleasantly while a white conehead is apparently bored out of his pointy skull. "Wha'didimiss?" he quickly mumbles to the two of them. A strange, blue and white six-wheeled cyber-RV is idling among the catering vehicles. A sign has been draped over its side that reads "DELICIOUS CYBER-KEBABS" and has a crudely drawn picture of the snack often sold by Vilnacron refugees in Crystal City. It slowly drives down the street, staying a good block away from Galvatron. Galvatron then points with his other hand to whichever Decepticon player is nearby. Possibly Scavenger. "YOU! That RV, I demand a Cyber-kebab to sooth my palate!" The orange Decepticon continues, "Well, we couldn't just GIVE them the victory. Those INSUFFERABLE bioloids! So, I just HAD to hit the SELF-DESTRUCT key and..." .. suddenly, Comcast shows up. Ramjet jerks his optics over to the other Decepticon with brows raised in realization. "Salve, Comcast." He mutters in greeting, jerking a hand out to grasp the other jet's forearm with. His handshake is strong, but not oppressive to the point of breaking something. He saves that kind of grip for Sweeps. Glancing back to the orange Decepticon, Ramjet raises his head slightly and declares. "Pardon us, Orangeshif--" just as the final phoneme is about to click into Ramjet's sentence, his attention is caught by the sign-draped RV. He never finishes that Decepticon's name. Instead, he seems a bit more interested in the RV. "I'm feeling a few quarts low. Care to share a cyber-kebab, Brother Comcast?" It's a good thing Redshift had his agility upgraded and enhanced recently, or else he'd be a head shorter. The deadly-looking plate careens next to Redshift's head as he ducks, and with lightning-fast reflexes, he snatches the plate out of the air. Redshift sighs inwardly as Galvatron summons him to do his bidding... This wasn't exactly what Red had in mind when he decided to tag along with the mighty purple Decepticon. He trudges over to the buffet, and first quickly pops a few delicious energon-Hors d'uvre into his mouth, before piling up a neat little stack of them on a plate. He returns to Galvatron, and offeres the snack without a word. Scavenger is most definately not Scavenger. He's this bright orange colored guy named Digger. That's it. "Yes, sir." He says, giving Galvatron a odd salute. He heads over towards the RV in question. "Excuse me." He asks. "I would like one of your tasty kebabs." Galvatron stares down at the offering Redshift hands him, making no move to take it. "In this time of civil unrest and strife trooper, none can be trusted. And a coward such as Airwolf would use a cowards weapon such as poison. You must test every one of the refreshments, to ensure they are suitable for my consumption!" He gestures towards the rather large buffet table, with its myriad delights. "And make it fast, I /hunger/" Meanwhile, some more Decepticons in neon green togas walk past the RV. "Aaw man!" one of them states. "Killing all those Autobots was GREAT! They squealed and screams!" "Yeah!" says his friend. "Autobots SUCK!" He kicks the RV and laughs. "Stupid Vilnacronians!" The Blue RV flashes its headlights a few times. "All out!" It says in a stereotypical Vilnacronian accent. "No cyber-kebab for you! Get lost!" The RV rocks on its suspension when it gets kicked. "Heeey! Watch paint job, bro!" Scavenger leans in closer "All out?" he asks. "Do you know where I can get some more? You see there might be a problem. A very serious problem if I can't find some kababs.." Scrapper wanders past the blue mystery RV, figuring he can use it for cover in case Omega Supreme realizes that apper-Scray was a s---ty fake name. He can't help but overhear all those Autobots talking about how they killed those Autobots. He nods in agreement, but keeps his trap shut just in case. "Just between you iand me, blue mystery RV, I think holding the festival here is just asking for trouble." "Of course, Mighty Galvatron..." Redshift replies, returning to the buffet table. He's already snacked on a few of the items, which should make this a little simpler... But then again, there is still a lot left. He groans, and begins picking choice samples from the buffet table. He glances back at the terrible visage of Galvatron, and picks up the pace. This is NOT what he signed up for. "What do I look like? Golden Pages? Try Little Vilnacron," the RV responds to Scavenger testily. "Hmm? Why you think there be trouble here, bro?" It asks "ApperScray" in a lower voice. Shockwave spots Galvatron accompanied by Redshift. If this were any other place it would be a dangerous and ackward moment but alas thanks to Airwolf's decree and the PPOG things are safe here. He also spots the Takara knock-off Constructicons. .oO(Maybe Galvatron had some others made because he thinks they are useful enough.)Oo. "Hmm.. Those things tend to give me Gas.. I mean, Cyber-Gas," Comcast says to Ramjet as he returns the handshake, "But I could go for one, I guess." He'll just have to make sure he doesn't spill any thing on his Toga. I mean, Cyber-Toga. "Hey, no trouble here!" A battered looking sports car rolls up beside the kebab-wagon- pained in several different shades of black and grey...and badly, at that- sporting the typical battered look of the tattered, yet somehow still functional, neutral. Not-Smokescreen sputters a bit of smoke from his muffler- a telltale sign of bad maintenance. Really. "You're not giving my buddy trouble, are ya?" he asks of the Not-Constructicons. Ramjet departs from the company of What-Was-His-Name-Again? with Comcast in tow. The toga swishes around his blocky thighs as he strides the distance toward the RV, ApperScray, and Not-Smokescreen. He gives ApperScray a 'don't-I-know-you-from-somewhere?' look before looking to the RV. "You! We desire two cyber-kebabs." "Hello?" Scrapper asks the mysterious blue RV as if the answer to his question was obvious. "Giant murderous guard with the attention span of a gnat and the tendancy to crush innocent Decepticons for no reason at all standing over yonder? All the safety regulations that were broken in the construction of this city? The evil curse that lingers here? What, did you not get the memo about this place or something? It's evil! And not just Decepticon evil, either. I mean /really/ evil." As the sound of an engine roaring approaches, Scrapper nearly jumps out of his own fake paintjob. He whirls around, but settles down when he sees it's only someone who may or may not be Smokescreen. "Your friend here has no kebabs," he tells Smokescreen. "No kebabs!?" Ramjet echoes ApperScray as he tells not-Smokescreen. "What an indignity." Galvatron glares at Redshift, with the look of one who wants his troopers to eat faster. Redshift is nearing a large fizzing black sphere that is lying on a plate. The label next to it declares it a "Sea-Grape. Galvatron thunders towards Shockwave, several other Decepticons in tow as he makes a 'come hither' motion to Ramjet. "Shockwave!" he booms, a curt smile playing out across his lips. "You have been absent from my side of late..." "Ehhhh, all the Terrorcons come earlier! They eat all the cyber-kebabs! They no pay, either!" The RV explains indignantly. "No cyber-kebab for you! No cyber-kebab for anyone!" Stock Car, had he eyes in this mode, would no doubt give Kebab-RV a 'look.' "Well, that's what he said." he muses. "Blame those terrorcons. Really, I'm lucky they didn't eat my friend here." he hmms. "You could, y'know, go punch them or something. Isn't that the 'thing' that a lot of Decepticons are doing lately?" Scavenger pauses. "I don't know." He says back to the RV "There usually is at large events. I'm just not the kind who like crowds." He chats cheerfully. "So what's your name? I'm Digger." "No Kebabs?" Comcast says, upset after working himself up to getting himself a Cyber-kebab. "Hey, what are you doing here, Scrapper, I thought that Constructicons weren't..." Oh, wait. This is a payloader-robot who is yellow, whereas Scrapper is green. To a Seeker more than most, this means he is obviously a totally different person. "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else." And then Galvatron waves at them. Eep! "Man, and we don't even have a Kebab to offer him in tribute. This isn't going to end well." Redshift adds the odd-looking, fizzing black sphere to a plate, but declines to eat it right away... He continues on, eatig his way down the table, adding some tasty morsels to a fresh plate for his lord Galvatron as he proceeds. Dispite Galvatron's dark look, Redshift seems to be slowing down his rate of consumption... He never was a big eater, and this sheer load of food is taking it's toll. Towards Scrapper and Smokescreen scuttles a ten-legged Decepticon, his hands buzzing with sawblades and knives. In them he clutches some plates of nibbles. "HXXXZZZ-BZZZZ!" emits Hex-Leg as he thrusts out the plates at the two, his robe constantly getting caught in his multiple limbs. "NXXX-NNNNNX!" Meanwhile, activity erupts on one of the many stages. Two small Transformers -- one red, the other blue, in matching togas take root. The red one adjusts some stands while the other begins to prod a microphone. Behind them, a mess of rust-mottled Transformers assemble some equipment before they, too, transform into equipment. Speakers, mixer station, lights-array and fog machine, and hologram transmitter. The last one transforms into a guitar that, looking oversized in the red Transformer's hands, extrudes a loop of fabric to hang over his shoulders.Over the speakers, there comes a..
* tap, tap, tap* "Testin'! Testin'! One, two! One, two! Ssssssausage ssssandwich! Sssssssssausage sssssandwich!" Rumble declares, giving the microphone another prod. He seems satisfied enough and bobs his head at Frenzy. Frenzy, in reply, grins widely and tosses his thumbs-up while plugging the guitar-Transformer into a port under his arm, to link with the sound emitters of his chest. "Huh?" Ramjet glances to the side, catching Galvatron making a come-hither motion from his peripherals. "Uh. Excuse me, Comcast." Leaving the jet at the mercy of ApperScray, Vilnacronian-refugee RV, and Not-Smokescreen, Ramjet makes his way toward Galvatron. Once by his side, he leans in to whisper something to the Emperor. His hands begin making wide shapes, as if he were describing some big object with something inside of it. Given that it was Megatron that first officially announced the reconciliation gala, Fusillade was bound to make an appearance. Ultimately, she does arrive fashionably late, flanked by two Sukhois. Mindful of the dress code, she's clad in stark white garb, cut through and hemmed with wide swaths of Tyrean purple. She warily sizes up the spread of those with previously undeclared, or declared-for-Galvatron loyalties, but does eventually stride down the main causeway Shockwave turns towards Galvatron "Indeed I have. I have been busy trying to hold the Empire together during this tumultuous period. I am presently working from my lab in New Crystal City which is why you have not seen much of me on Cybertron." The Blue RV takes a moment to think of a proper alias. "Ehh... I'm Vagabond. This is my friend," he points a windshield wiper at Smokescreen, "Blacksmog." The RV keeps rolling along at a slow pace, "inconspicuously" staying within earshot of Galvatron. "Shhhh!!" Scrapper shushes at Comcast as he nearly breaks his cover. Luckily the disguise manages to hold out. "Yes... well, it happens all the time," Scrapper says in his normal Scrapper voice. "Don't, um, don't worry about it..." The Constructicon looks back over at the mysterious blue RV and scoffs, "So why do you still have the sign up? That's false advertisement, and we Decepticons have pillaged entire worlds and wiped out whole civilizations for stupider reasons than that." "Er." Smokescreen (not really Smokescreen, REALLY), backs up a couple of feet as Hex-Leg whirls up towards the grouping. Even then, he's not entirely sure of what to do. He falls into line behind 'Vagabond'- engine sputtering all the while, poofing out occasional bits of his namesake. "...Why are all you Decepticons in dresses again?" Scavenger runs off to go find a Kebab seller. "Well, I'll be back. Im going to try to find that Kebab." with that, he's off to the other side of the street. "Yo. Yo. Yo," Rumble declares over the mic. "It's me, it's me. It's we! It's RAGIN' RUMBLE and FRENZY FRESH! Here to pluck at the strings of tasty grooves to celebrate our freedom from dem snaky Quintessons!" "YeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Frenzy shrieks, running his fingertips over the strings of the rusty guitar in his hands. Numerous Transformers cringe. Rumble speaks back up, "Soundwave couldn't be here today! So we loaned some backup from da JUNKION FIVE! NOW IS YOU READY TO ROCK!?!?!" The Sea Grape on Redshift's plate splutters as something wet is piled atop it as it goes out. Phew, a Shift will not die today! Or will they, for next in line is a rather portly robotic pig Decepticon, who is standing in the way of some of the plates, jealously guarding the delicious treats they hold! Galvatron nods slowly at Ramjet, stroking his chin. "Yes Ramjet. You have the merchandise? Take it to the stage when those two fools..." he gestures to Rumble and Frenzy "...have finished. Finished or be executed for tuneless incompetence. He turns to Shockwave, the more important of the two. "Even the merest facade of loyalty would be welcome Shockwave!" he mutters, taking out a datapad. "If not for me, then for the meagre troopers that slave under the thumb of the Empire. Now, I have a speech for tonight. You shall read it and edit it as you see fit." He passes over the datapad to the purple monocled one Ramjet nods to Galvatron and leaves his side. Hex-Leg starts to chatter at Smokescreen, waving his multiple arms about as his toga flaps everywhere, before he nervously skitters into Smokescreen as the band starts up, shaking his arms. "TXXX-NTTTT-ZKKKKK!" he emits angrily, before pointing at the Autobot! Scrapper glances down at his dress. It is sort of a purple colour. "It's called a robo-toga. Don't you know anything?" he sighs, shaking his head. These must be the dumbest two Transformers ever, Scrapper thinks to himself. Scrapper walks behind Vagabond and Blacksmog, still planning to use the former for when Omega Supreme inevitably decides to rampage through the city in a drunken stupor. Again with the pig jokes? Redshift can already feel his waistline expanding from the pressure of injesting so much futuristic finger-food. "Stand down, Robot Pig!" Redshift. "I seek passage to gather delectable snacks! Step aside or face my wrath!" Also, Redshift is not wearing a toga. Shockwave takes the datapad and looks up back at Galvatron "Sure I can look the speech over for you. I hope this conflict can be resolved quickly in order to resume our campaign against the Autobots." At that moment, Frenzy begins strumming his instrument. It sounds a bit less severe and far more melodic, a good journey beat. Rumble leans in a bit and begins to speak. "Dis .. is the greatest an' best song in the universe. Tribute.." He curls the fingers of his free hand in, as if to include everyone in on some great and terrible secret. "Long time ago, me an' my brother Frenzy here.. we wuz sittin' in Soundwave's chest while he wuz standin' over a long an' lonesome highway. 'Cuz, he transformed into a fraggin' lamp-post back then... All of a sudden, there SHINED a chromed-out Sweep.. in the middle.. of the highway. AND HE SAID...!" Rumble snorts loudly and takes on a decidedly harsh, nasal voice to replicate the so-called chromed-out Sweep. Just then, the holo-emitter spits out a giant image of a Sweep snarling and spitting at a big, lame blue lamppost -- somewhere on some ancient Cybertronian highway. "PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY THE BEST SONG IN THE UNIVERSE. OR I'LL GO MEW MEW MEW ON YOUR SILICON SOUL!" "Watch it, buddy!" 'Blacksmog' whines- and then rolls up a few feet- at which point he 'coughs' (well, it comes from his tailpipe), but that's beside the point- a big plume of dirty black smoke at the offending decepticon...entirely by accident. Really.
* SPUTTER!* Lousy neutrals. Can't keep their engines in line. A Decepticon Jet scowls at Blacksmog and Vagabond. "What makes a mech turn Neutral?" He muses, to no one. "Lust for gold? Power? Or is he just designed with a fuelpump filled with /neutrality?" He shakes his head in disgust. "Well.. Soundwave just transformed.." Rumble explains. The holographic emitter depicts the lamppost transforming into the much-more familiar shape of the Great Decepticon Communicator. He raises a hand to the button jutting from his shoulder and pushes it, extending his chest-plate out. "..and declared: "Rumble. Frenzy. Eject. Operation: GREATEST. SONG. IN THE UNIVERSE.." "AND WE EACH SAID..." Rumble and Frenzy look at each other before looking back to the crowd. They declare in unison, "OKAY!" Hrn. Tapes on stage, Shockwave speaking with Galvatron, Ramjet and a few ground pounders milling around... Fusillade glances left, right, and then ultimately sidles over to, well, the food-line. Sidling up to Redshift, she cants her head to the side, and peers at the pig guard, before jabbing an elbow in his midsection. "Tough crowd, eh?" The Blue RV mutters to "Blacksmog", "What is this -- a Decepticon talent show?" Stock Car murmurs back: "There's an oxymoron if I ever heard one." Red F-15 Jet frowns as Ramjet abandons him. Fine, he's not good enough to be with him. Jerk. He sulks off for a moment, only to notice Fusillade and her two 'friends'. "Uhh. Hey." The Pig-Guard looks at Redshift and Fusillade, before snorting angrily, and pointing to his brown toga. Then he pushes /against/ Redshift and stuffs his robotic snout in one of the bowls, making horrific scoffing noises. Galvatron watches the commotion on the stage with growing fury. "The campaign, Shockwave, was never ceased. I have put in place measures to end the Autobots once and for all. But had you remained at my side, you would /know/ this." He starts to march up to the stage, roughly pushing past random gumbies as he keeps his optics fixed on the 'band' with its barely-legible 'music' "Gah!" Scrapper raises his arm protectively as Blacksmog, punk that he is, accidentally gets him with some smoke... or... smog, as the case may be. Now Scrapper's beautiful purple robo-toga has soot on it! Scrapper's temper flares up, "Lousy neutral! Why I oughta..." He stomps towards Smokescreen, but stops halfway there. Omega Supreme would certainly crush him for that. But even worse, _Galvatron_ would certainly crush him for that! "Just... make sure it doesn't happen again..." If Scrapper had teeth that he could talk through while clenched, he would be right now. Redshift doubletakes as Fusillade comes out of nowhere, and then offers her an energon goodie off of the plate he is carrying, replacing his earlier reaction with a confidant smile. "I didn't expect to see you here, Fusillade." He says. "Then again, I didn't expect this whole song and dance..." He continues, and then is rudely shoved by the pig-like robot! He staggers, and is sent stumbling into Fusillade. There's a vicious glint of challenge in Fusillade's optics at the porcine, and she scowls. "Well looks like you're off the hook, maybe you can get out into space under your own power after this is done, after all!" She tosses her head back in a rollicking laugh, before one of the turquoise-clad Seekers steps between her and Comcast. "Pa dozh dee," he rumbles out as he crosses arms over burly chest and cockpit. Glancing back over her shoulder, Fusillade frowns as she tries to recall... red. Hrn. Not Thrust. Flare? No, wait... Breakneck? No, that's scarlet, hrn, oh. "Comcast, hello there. Looks like Redshift here is relieved of duty by an organic." "And we played the first thing that came to our processors... just so happened to be! The Best Song in the Universe! It was the Best Song in the Universe!" Rumble croons. Meanwhile, his holographic homunculus begins prancing around wildly as Frenzy rocks out on his guitar. Arms flapping, hopping on one foot, it is a great and terrible image as the chromed Sweep looks on in fang-bared fear. "Look into my optics an' it's easy to see! One and one make two, two and one make three, it wuz destiny! Once every hundred-thousand vorns or so, when th' sun doth shine and the moon doth glow and the energon doth flow!" Rumble clears his voice and leans back, a glint of light sliding off his optical visor. "Needless to say, th' Sweep wuz stunned! A floogly-flee went his pink fingernails!" The Sweep wiggles its fingernails at the two tapes. "and th' Sweep wuz done! He asked us.. *SNORT* Be you Autobots!? and we said.. NAY! WE BE DECEPTICONS, NIGGA! Rock..." Rumble's image swings its elbows back as it thrusts its hips at the Sweep, dousing the vile chromed creature in brilliant crotch-light. "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD OOOOH... WHOAAAAH.. OH-EE-OH-EE-OH!" "Dis is not the Greatest Song in the Universe! Noooooo! Dis is just a tribute! We kinda lost the lyrics to the Greatest Song in the Universe in a space poker game! No! Dis is a tribuuuuuuuuute ohhh! To the Greatest Song in the Universe, awwwwwwwwwlright! It was the Greatest Song in the Universe, awlriiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!" "Well there has to be appropriate representation of Me-- GACK!" The two go clattering down to the ground, Fusillade splaying feet to steady herself. The pristine garb gets the brunt of several grease stains. Ramjet has disappeared into one of the towers, having to arrange the remainder of his promise to Galvatron. Deals are being made with some of the nastiest, most disloyal and wretched creatures in the whole of creation: Lawyercons. The absolute worst. "A tribute to the greatest SONG?" Galvatron snarls as in one bound, robe flapping, he leaps onto stage, staring down at the diminutive duo, the holographic chromed sweep oddly enough floating by his side. "How about a tribute to the greatest DECEPTICON?" Oddly enough, Galvatron is not referring to himself, but Octopunch. "I have a speech to give, when I turn my back, you will be gone!" he barks, walking to the lecturn. Meanwhile the pig-guard has managed to empty the bowl, and leaps at Fusillade with an 'oink', determined to consume the delicious energon treats that has landed on her Red F-15 Jet smiles, and is so pleased Fusillade remembers him! But frowns as Redshift knocks her down. He's about to call Redshift a dolt or something, when the Pig Guard shows up. "Oh my." Scrapper can't help but be distracted from Blacksmog by those tunes that Frenzy is whipping out. It is a good thing that Scrapper has a faceplate, as it hides the awe/horror/disgust/love he has for that song. Scrapper stares for several seconds before finally taking a long step back away from Rumble, just to make the noise get slightly less loud. He hmphs, folding his arms as Galvatron decides to make a speech.
* SHWINGCT!* With distressing speed, Fusillade snaps out one wingblade, and holds the tip of the still-folded weapon against the pig's throat. She may or may not still be sprawled on the ground. The two Sukhois loom on either side of the guard, knuckle servos taut, but they hold off while the gleam of the CAG's weapon is visible. "Now now, this was treat was given to /me/. But in case you can't get that through the plating around your skull, maybe the word 'LUAU' will help ring a bell for you." Energon is promised. Credits transferred into off-world bank accounts. A promise or two made involving things of a far less glorious nature and at last, an oath sworn on a tattered copy of the Black Book of Primus. Lawyercons play for keeps, Ramjet realizes. When he returns to Memorial Square, his expression is as stormy as the skies of New Crystal City. Before he is upon Comcast, Fusillade, Redshift, and a Pig Guard, he mutters something into his communication unit to Galvatron. Then, just as he arrives, Fusillade has her wingblade at the pig-guard's throat. "I'm.. going to need a lot more to drink at the end of this, aren't I?" Ramjet asks, almost rhetorically. Redshift offers Fusillade an awkward half-grin as the two go for a tumble. He tries to extricate himself, only to be interupted by the Pig Guard! Redshift rolls away from Fusillade, and rises from the floor, clutching his rifle. "Sod off, pigface, unless you want to be next on the menu." Rumble eeps at the arrival of Galvatron on stage. "Uh.. uh.. hail Galvatron! We out, Zee!" The tiny twosome scramble off stage, as the Junkion Five transform and follow suit. "Tip your waitress, try the veal!" squeaks out the Speaker-Junkion as he departs. Blacksmog rolls up to the outskirts of the party, and hmms- In particular, he nears Fusillade, Redshift, Ramjet, and Co. Is he eavesdropping? Well, not really. As he even speaks up to make conversation. "So. Um. Nice party?" He wheezes. Shortly after, some shady-looking Decepticons come out hauling something BIG! Wrapped in crinkled alumnium foil, the shape of the construct looks like the most grotesque approximation of a Quintesson anyone has ever seen. The snaky limbs are there, as is the big bulbous head -- but there is no painting, and any attempt to sculpt some faces out of it are elementary at best. If anyone bothers to look close, they might find it -moving- just a bit and possibly mumbling something, too. The Quintesson foil-pinata is brought up to the stage and brought behind Galvatron. "Don-jet sends his regards," mutters one of the shady looking Decepticons to Galvatron. Shockwave grabs a seat on the plaza and begins going over Galvatron's speech for tonight. (Cooking dinner semi-here for a while) The pig-guard starts to oink and wave a trotter at Fusillade. He obviously doesn't want to be turned into robo-sausages. He vomits up some energon into his hand and offers it to Fusillade as a peace-offering. Peace seems to be on Galvatron's mind as he takes over the stage, gripping the lecturn as he stares ahead at the crowd, and getting Ramjet's message, begins to talk. "Millennia ago, our race faced a tough decision. To roll over like mewling Autobots, or to FIGHT for our freedom from the accursed Quintessons. And now, we must make another tough decision. But I am not afraid. YOU should not be afraid either. It is the job of a leader to MAKE those decisions, to not be scared to cut out the disease and the rot, to shred the weak and the useless. We are Decepticons, we do not coddle, we do not love. We were free then, and we are free now. And so, my GIFT!" He steps back as the gumbies hang the moving pinata, heralding it with an outstretched arm. "Who will celebrate our freedom, and take the first swing?" "Huh?" Ramjet asks, turning his ear to hear Blacksmog. He doesn't seem to have placed too much attention on him, being both distracted by having to please Galvatron and getting in his day's leering-quota at Fusillade. "Uh.. you should go take a whack at that," Ramjet points to the foil-pinata for Blacksmog. "Po'shyol 'na hui!" barks out from one of the planebois, who takes a swing at the oinker. Fusillade recoils and then proceeds to disentangle herself from Redshift. "You sure do you know how to show a jet a good time," she growls out in disapproval at the space corsair, before standing and turning her gaze toward the stage, heeding Galvatron's words. There's a grunt and irritated flick of wrist at the talking, soot covered car. "Oh no-" Blacksmog says, "I wouldn't dare. It's a Decepticon party. I'm just here to keep an eye on my friend Vagabond...besides, I barely got the energy to Transform, y'know?" he coughs again, if perhaps a little melodromaticaly. "I bet you'd bust the thing in just one punch, uh...Dirge?" Taking the initiative, the pig-guard grabs a table-leg and storms away from Fusillade and her entourge as they are mean to him, instead bounding onto the stage where he takes a huge and hefty swing at the pinata. Nothing falls out, but the foil-wrapped bundle seems to shudder a bit, and a foil tentacle jerks. "OOoow!" Redshift narrow his optics at the pig, red laserlight flickering in his eyes. "Get lost, baconbreath." He says, leveling his rifle at the porcine guard. "There's plenty of other people here you can bother, leave her alone." Redshift tries to stick up for Fusillade, although she can certainly take care of herself. He turns to regard the Quintesson effigy, and fires off a supersonic slug at the pinata. Why use a stick when you can use a gun? Scrapper hmphs at Galvatron's speech. Sure it's a pretty good one, but since it is Galvatron who is giving the speech and not Megatron, it automatically loses to what Megatron has given so far (absolutely nothing). It goes without saying that Scrapper refrains from trying to take the first whack at the pinata, as he's trying not to draw attention to himself. "This is worse than that time we raided Taco Bell..." Scrapper mutters to himself nervously. Cue Family Guy-esque flashback. "Aaaargh!" The pinata shrieks (?), twisting from side to side as Redshift's slug rips through its thin foil covering. Some green goo starts to leak out of the exit wound. The pinata starts to spin perilously as Scrapper pummels it -- foil tentacles twirling in a beautiful spiral! "I'm going to throw up!" Ramjet folds his arms over his chest as the Quintesson pinata is submitted to savagery. All in a day's work, really. "Huh? Dirge?" He asks, turning his head to Blacksmog, his optics flickering in thought. Narrowing his brow at the character, Ramjet wonders. "No. I'm Ramjet.. and don't I know you from somewhere? You look.. familiar. Hnnh." Galvatron folds his arms as he stands on the stage next to the pinata as the Decepticons celebrate freedom for all by smashing an effigy to death. "Yes, that is right!" he thunders, taking out his own ceremonial bat, which he uses to lightly (for him) smack against the bulbous orb of the foil 'Quintesson'. "All must partake in the pinata, as is our law!" Ooh ooh ooh hitting pinata things! Fusillade stands bolt upright, shoulders squared back, and whoops! at the mech that she was threatening mere seconds ago! Ah, dubious Decepticon comaraderie! What was that green goo that came out? She narrows citrine optics, and hisses a bit at how familiar it is to the coating that Bonesaw was in... Could it be the same? "P-please! Have mercy!" The Quintesson pinata shrieks. How life-like! It even raises one foil tentacle in protest before Galvatron's bat knocks it back against its own face. How demeaning! "Oh, by the Great Squid himself...!" "What, me?" Blacksmog asks. "I was...uh, here at the last party. Selling kebabs. Out now, though. Tough times. Rough economy." had he a face in this mode, he'd no doubt be nodding and smiling with a 'what me?' look on his faceplate. "Uh." He says, eyeing the pinata a bit, rolling back a few feet. Here's one 'bot who's not gonna take part in the pinata-ing. Keeper finally manages to get his own garb disguise on, tough little needed as very little of him has been seen so far, and catch up as it were... for the festivities. He grimly observes as he 'nudges' his way slowly through the crowd. The hulk-thug with no name. The circle of gumby celebrants parts and a powerful nickle-plated figure emerges as Moses from the Red Sea, draped in crimson edged in gold. Upon his head a wreath of hammered electrum leaves. "I believe it's time for the Slag-Maker to take a crack at this hardboiled turboegg," declares Megatron, slapping a twelve-foot long iron rod into his palm. Galvatron meanwhile is standing on the stage that has so recently been vacated by Rumble and Frenzy's /terrible/ band. The stage is dominated by a foil Quintesson pinata which Decepticons are taking turns hitting "THIS MADNESS ENDS NOW," booms the kebab truck. The high-tech winnebago transforms into a robot. Rodimus Prime is back! Let's party! Rodimus Prime rises up, shredding the "DELICIOUS CYBER KEBABS" banner that had previously enshrouded him. His blue camo-pattern fades as he transforms, returning back into his optic-blistering flame-colored glory. He shoves a Decepticon Jet out of the way, marching up to the stage. "This is /neutral/ ground, Galvatron," Rodimus says, pointing an accusing finger at the gray Decepticon warlord. "I don't care what's in the pinata, but if you touch it again, the next two words out of my mouth are: Omega supreme." Galvatron turns to see Megatron approach the stage, beaming out a smile. "Be my guest, 'Megatron'. Let us see if you can indeed attack an effigy of your Quintesson masters. Reveal yourself to be the slave that I know you are!" But even he is taken about by the RV truck. Mostly because he mishears it as 'THIS SALE MADNESS ENDS NOW' and that it was his last chance to get a cyber-kebab "Huh." Redshift says, after the 'pinata' starts to squirm, speak and.. leak goo all over the place? "It is supposed to be, you know, alive? I thought it was going to be filled with Energon goodies or credits or something..." He says. He ponders taking another shot at the pinata, or wkaching it with a dtick as is customary, but he doesn't want to a)get in Megatron's way, or b) get goo on him. Scrapper squints at the pinata as Galvatron smacks it one. "Wow... who built that thing, anyway? It's so lifelike and realistic! I'm really impressed..." For a few moments Scrapper has forgotten about the MORTAL PERIL that he is no doubt in just for being here. His own admiration for the genius who put together that pinata has briefly distracted him. But then the nearby mystery RV suddenly transforms. "Ahhh, he's come to turn us into kebabs!" Scrapper shouts, running away from Rodimus. "A slave obeys, Galvatron," declares Megatron, holding up the rod. "A man CHOOSES! And I choose... to PARTY H- wait, what is Rodimus Prime doing here?" Ramjet snorts at Blacksmog. "This celebration is for every Transformer. The quicker you unaffiliated models realize the service the Empire provides our people, the quicker you wi--" his words are never finished, much like the name of that orange Decepticon Space Warrior he had been speaking to earlier. Megatron arriving isn't as big of a deal as Rodimus proving that he is still More Than Meets The Eye. Disappointment tugs at his fuel-pump as Rodimus makes his entrance. He really wasn't joking about not having cyber kebabs. That bastard. "So Prime!" Galvatron glowers, folding his arms, a smirk growing across his face. "Are the Autobots so depleted in resources that they must sell cyber-kebabs like homeless Vilnacronians?" He hands a bat out to Rodimus, looking between him and Megatron. "Perhaps you two would take an equal swing at it, in celebration of our /independance/ and of the neutrality of such a... beautiful city." His teeth almost grate at the speech. Keeper pauses his crowd strolling and narrows his optics at Prime. What is going on here? What is he stopping? IS this appropriate timing? How much were those kebabs? "Uh oh." 'Blacksmog' murmurs- and wit that, he quickly wheels backwards- suddenly a bit quieter than he was before. He slips through the crowd, finally scooting up beside the disgused Keeper, nudging the dog-bot with his bumper. "Stay cool." he murmurs. No need to break cover...YET. Shockwave raises his yellow optic at the transforming winnebago. He keeps the reflex in check to stop him from shooting Rodimus in the back. Instead he stands up and walks towards the dangerous trio of Galvatron, Megatron and Rodimus near the piniata in order to get a better view of the 'traditional event' in question. "Omega Supreme?" scoffs Megatron. "He who so boldly and selflessly cast down the Quintesson hordes and smote their ruin across the plains of Cybertron in ages past? You think that Omega Supreme would lift a single claw in defense of a Quintesson's vileness? Rodimus, you would not dare to sully our festivities with base fisticuffs." He gestures towards Galvatron with the rod. "Besides, there are two of us and one of you. Now... to see if there's CANDY in this horrid thing." He steps forward and swings away, Merrill... he swings away. "NYAAAAARGH! By Alpha's beards!" the pinata squeals, another foil tentacle whipping around as more green goo leaks from it, and a foil Quintesson face crumples. This thing is really realistic, how much did this thing cost? "Omega Supreme?!" Scrapper, aka apperScray, shouts as Megatron mentions that name. He, for those just joining us, is disguised in his G2 colours, thoguh he has a purple toga since everyone is wearing togas for some reason. Scrapper whirls around, trying to figure out where the big idiot got himself to. As if Scrapper wasn't already freaked out enough by the blue mystery cyber-kebab RV already. "Yes?" comes a booming voice from beside Scrapper. There sits (or stands, he is on tank treads) what looks like a miniature Omega Supreme, but coloured neon blue, hot pink and yellow. He is also Constructicon height, and nibbling on a plate of Cyber-Rivita. "Omega Spreem here, pleased to make your aquaintance!" Just then a weasely little Junkion slides on up to the stage and offers cool futuristic business cards to both Megatron and Galvatron. Actually just regular cards with tinfoil wrapping but that's something only closer inspection could reveal. "Honorable gentlemechs. Reap-Lay, KNUJ news. We're hoping to broadcast a live debate between the two most controversial figures in the Galaxy today. That'd be you. Call us or email us at your earliest conveinience to discuss details and terms. Thank you have a nice day and enjoy the rest of your shindig." The Junkion disappears back into the crowd. Rodimus Prime scowls and leaps for the stage, but is too far away to save the pinata from another bludgeon. He places himself in between the pinata and Megatron, arms spread to defend the helpless effigy from another whip with the steal rod. "Omega Supreme doesn't guard Crystal City just so you can turn it into a barbaric bloodbath, Megatron," he snarls in response. "And how do you think he would feel," he says, turning his head towards the audience. "If he knew you brought CONSTRUCTICONS into his home?" He points an accusing finger at ApperScray. Scrapper whirls around at the sound of the hated voice, terror in his optical visor. He spies the tiny Omega and opens his vocalizer, but nothing comes out. Scrapper then wobbles slightly and falls over, fainting. Scrapper picked a bad time to have everyone's eyes suddenly on him. Omega Spreem transforms into his alternate mode to help Scrapper to his feet. But his transformation is just bending over to look like a neon /thing/. "Say!" he quips. "Would you like to join me and my friends for a bit of tea? My big cousin might even be there!" Keeper gives 'Blacksmog' a peripheal glance and an affirmative nudge. He remains put under orders and murmurs down to the disguised ally, "I hope nothing happens... for their sakes." "Good question," Fusillade rumbles out to Redshift as she shifts weight to one foot. "I think... oh for the love of high grade," she groans as Scrapper crumples over. She wades through the crowd to lower herself to rest hands on knees. "Pssst. Hey you. Yeah you. HEY. HEY." She gives him a swift kick in the torso, which might have the overall effect of making the Constructicon reactive his visor to have the neon horror filling his gaze. She then leaps back up to her toetips, weaving through the crowd, although she does warily keep one audial tuned to the stage. Galvatron starts to tap his foot as he looks at his wrist. "Okay Prime, I am waiting for the wrath of Omega Supreme to come crashing down on me. No? Well then, I imagine he doesn't care much for the rights of pinatas." He throws another bat in the direction of Redshift as he watches Prime make a fool of himself. ApperScray isn't banned from Crystal City, stupid Autobot! "Trooper, show the Autobot how to /hit/ a pinata. Surely his cowardice knows no bounds!" Galvatron succeeds in grasping Redshift, throwing him off-balance. Patriotic Cassette wanders into the square, blindfolded, and holding a large beating stick which is three times as long as he is tall. He waves the stick around perilously as he aimlessly makes his way around the area. "Where's the pinata?" he says, taking a few experimental swings at thin air. "I cannot wait to take part in this fine American tradition which we shamelessly stole from another culture!" As Redshift gets picked by Galvatron, Ramjet decides lushness is the better part of valor. He motions out to a passing Servercon, beckoning them to come close. Within range, he swipes a goblet of shimmering energon high-grade from its serving tray. He takes a long, long draught before watching. Redshift mutters under his breath as Fusillade heads to the aid of the fallen Scrapper. "I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you le-OW!" His view of Fusillade is interupted as somebody, who he will later see to be Galvatron, throws a BAT at his face. Redshift fumbles with the bat, and approaches the mangled pinata. He has little choice in the matter, and this would not be a good time to denounce the screw-loose Galvatron. So, Redshift swings mightily, aiming for the Quintesson-like pinata's head/body Megatron looks for Scrapper. Where has... oh, he's on the floor. "I don't see any Constructicons here. There might be some gumbies who LOOK like Constructicons but that certainly isn't any of MY concern," he sneers. "Let me tell you why Omega Supreme guards Crystal City: because I LET him guard it. Because it PLEASES me for this neutral ground to exist and for him to devote his not inconsiderable strength to watching over it contentedly day and night. If you think that he would give that up for to save a Quintesson from a well-deserved if admittedly brutal beating, then go ahead... give the signal. Otherwise, get out of my way." "Oh, this is bad." 'Blacksmog' mutters- and he transforms! His paint 'disguise' remains in place as he transforms- but his frame is entirely the same- the effect makes him look sort of like hobo Bluestreak. Regardless, he brings up his rifle and switches it to the acid-pellet mode- and with the utmost precision, he fires off a quick salvo- not directly AT the pinata- but rather, around it...hopefully covering it in a thin layer of acid to melt away the foil covering without harming what's beneath! As Redshift smashes the pinata it screams again, another face crumpling and some foil falling off to reveal a grey form underneath, oozing more green goo. Is it delicious energon. "By zetaaaargh!" the pinata cries, another foil tentacle raising. And then Smokescreen fires his acid gun, and the pinata's foil body is covered with a green hissing, as all the foil burns and flakes off, revealing a Quintesson, battered and bruised, tied by a sturdy rope to the ceiling of the stage. "Nnnn!" it cries, batting its hissing body with its tentacles. "G-g-get me down!" "That was my line," Ramjet chides after Redshift as he takes another big swig. Keeper arches a thick cromagnon optic brow ridge at 'Blacksmog' as he acts despite just moments ago telling Keeper to do nothing. He himself continues to do nothing but provide shade. Even when a Quintesson is revealed. Not a trace of surprise crosses his ugly mug. Behind Ramjet is another hooded figure. With a metallic *K-CHINK* the hood suddenly rises, lifting into a very large cone and the face of Saggitarius of Zodiac Squad is revealed. "No!" he emits. "That was MY line!" "Trust me, Megatron," Rodimus says, kneeling down to avoid the incoming barrage of acid pellets that melt away the pinata's tin-foil facade. "I'm doing -you- a favor by not escalating this." Rodimus tosses out his right hand, which quickly transforms into a whirring buzzsaw. Raising it over his shoulder, it looks like Rodimus is about to violate all of those neutrality pacts and bring Omega Supreme down on *him* -- but instead, he leaps into the air, slashing at the rope suspending the Quintesson in the air! With his non-transformed hand, he snatches onto the rope, and as the arc of his jump continues, he goes sailing into the crowd with a floating, bloody Quintesson bobbing behind him like some kind of grotesque balloon. "OUTTA THE WAY!" He shouts at the crowd of Decepticons. "Ow!" Scrapper moans as Fusillade gives him a swift kick. "...go 'way, Bonecrusher..." he murmurs. Omega Spreem walks over and asks him some stupid question involving tea. While he ignores the question, he does accept the help back up. "Piss off," he mutters to the fake Supreme. Scrapper lets go of the mech as soon as he's back on his feet. "I really, really hate it here," he mutters in case not everyone already knew this. "You know, there's one of those in Alameda, I /really/ hope that we didn't waste resources having to FIND that one," Fusillade disapproves, before scooping up a cobalt-hued carafe, pausing, and then not even bothering with a glass, begins chugging from the finely etched vessel in a display proper Bacchianalian excess. Galvatron raises a hand as Prime leaps for the Quintesson. "No weapons, no weapons!" he shouts. "Do not violate the neutrality of this city!" And then, under his breath, he mutters "...until such time *I* deem it appropriate!" He raises his fist, shouting from the stage as Rodimus tries to crowd-surf with a group of Decepticons. "You fool Prime! You would risk your life for a /Quintesson/? See the foolishness of the Autobots! See their leader for the slave he remains!" "But PRAHM," Fusillade objects between draughts. "I will not forget this outrage!" shouts Megatron, raising his right arm instinctively; but he hasn't got his cannon, having stowed it in a gesture of diplomacy with the city officials. "He has broken our sacred truce and the treaty of the city! GET HIM!" Americon follows the sound of Rodimus's loud and heroic cries, his stick flailing away, as if he were a brave plumber fighting off an insane ape's army of barrels. "Wait, wait, is this like a MOVING pinata or something? That sounds like even more fun!" "He's ONLY ONE MAN!" shouts Megatron over the riotous noise of the commotion. "SEIZE HIM!" "AHA! As I SUSPECTED!" Redshift says, pointing his finger at the Quintesson. "So, not so hot without your Sharkticons or your alligtor-cons or your.. switch-pulling-cons! Vile, squid-loving Quintesson!" "Uuuung!" emits the Quintesson as it slaps gooey tentacles across Prime's face. "Unhand me vile creature!" he squeals, and then his heads rotate. "I mean save me and I will tell you the secrets of the universe! Yessssss!" Keeper lets his optics glace up at the leaping Quintesson liberator leader but then lowers his optics again to look at all the Decepticons, where the real danger lies. He then suddenly plows through the crowd to the right of himself, knocking seekers down left and right to make his own path. His head turns to look back over his shoulder to Prime as he gains distance from the Autobot leader. Ramjet jerks his head forward in surprise at the voice from behind. He turns and stares at the mechanoid, focusing his optics at him. "Ugh. You again, Sagittarion!? I would've thought you and your spook brigade would've been blasted to smithereens by now. Hnnh. Such high hopes I had for Galvatron, too.." Ramjet glances back, catching Rodimus make off with the Quintesson pinata he had to pay a high price for. Quintessons are neither easy to come by nor are they easily beaten to a pulp within the limits of Crystal City. As Megatron calls out for Rodimus to be stopped, Ramjet sighs heavily. "I'm... far too drunk to do anything," he admits to Sagittarion. "Drink, Sag?" he asks, grabbing another goblet of energon high-grade from another passing server. "Change of plans." Smokescreen says to Keeper- and then he's off and moving! He leaps forward, again transforming to his car mode- which runs far, far more smoothly than one would expect a 'neutral' to manage. He zips towards the stage, aiming to slip between Rodimus & the Decepticommanders- as he lets out a gout of noxious smoke in his wake to bar their sight from the retreating commander! Sagittarion simply scowls at Ramjet as with a 'KLINK' his cone rises even higher on his head. "Nnnn drink your drink Ramjet, console yourself for your tiny malformed cone" Decepticon gumbies of all descriptions (okay, really just three descriptions; seekers, tanks and for some reason Kickbacks) chase after Rodimus, leaping and lunging at him in an attempt to drag him down and capture him and his cargo for the Lord of Destruction! Rodimus Prime winces with obvious distaste as he gets tentacle-groped. "Keep your secrets to yourself," the Autobot leader mutters, lifting the Quintesson up over his shoulder. Still running through the crowd as fast he can, dodging left and right like the zippiest of pro-cyberball players, he points a finger downfield at Keeper. Hurling his right arm over his shoulder, he launches the Quintesson in a beautiful spiral pass towards the other Autobot, tentacles flaying in the air! He then is knocked to the ground, buried under a writhing pile of Decepticon troopers. "We got him, we got him!" exclaims Kickback. "The Quintesson, you fool!" Megatron shouts back. "It's getting away, catch it!" The Quintesson gives a shriek as he is launched into the air, like a rugby ball with tentacles that flail everywhere, his heads rotating quickly as he arcs through the air in a beautiful pass towards Keeper. "Nooo Cybertronian. Save me and I will grant your fuel pump's desire!" Galvatron obviously sees himself above such pursuits as he stays on the stage too, attempting to shout orders out over Megatrons. "To the right! Flank his right, Flanker!" he yells at a pink tank Decepticon. "No Lymaniac!" he shouts towards a deluxe Insecticon. "Don't try to bite him on the head, go after the Quintesson!" Americon is not blinded by Smokescreen's smoke, because he is already blindfolded. Upon seizing his prey--or so he believes--he stands upon and begins to wack it viciously with the stick. "Die, pinata, die!" he cries as Decepticon gumbies dogpiling Rodimus yelp in pain. "Stop that, you idiot! We aren't pinatas!" one gumby yells. "You can't fool me, pinata!" Americon says, and smacks the gumby in the face, causing him to howl in pain. Ramjet smiles up at Sagittarion. He begins chuckling softly, almost jovial in disposition. Where is the surliness? The indignance? The overwhelming urge to cut down someone who disrespects you in front of others? It seems to have flown the coup, as Ramjet begins laughing a little more loudly. "Ha ha.. ha ha hahahahahaha.. Sagittarion, everyone!" He declares before knocking back the remainder of his first cup and swallowing the fluids with a loud and satisfied groan. "Hahaha. Good ol' Sagittarion. Good Brother Sagittarion." Ramjet turns, motioning to the other Decepticon and smiling at anyone who manages to lock optics with him for a mere moment. "Hahahaha.. ha ha ha." Ramjet looks back to Sagittarion. "Oh. Sagittarion. Hold this for a moment?" He says, offering the goblet to him for a moment. Whatever could he be planning? Scrapper is slowly sneaking away as the situation begins to crumble from a happy party into a potential all-out brawl. Why couldn't they have just held this event at the Liberation Arch or something, anyway? Sure the Quintessons blew up the Arch, but the area around it was relatively ok! Sparing a glance over the edge of the container, Fusillade scowls. Shaking her head, she radios back through a signal boosting relay to find out the disposition of the Argosy, perhaps anticipating an Autobot attack since a large number of Decepticons were, well... here. Sagittarion narrows his optics at Ramjet, and takes the goblet, sniffing at it suspiciously. "Are you sure this isn't Trypticon's weekly waste excretion sample?" he emits Keeper turns all the way about and gets under the hurled Quintesson. Leaping only minimally, the tall quiet type lug catches the former slave master and tucks the foul parasite under one arm. He then spins 90 degrees on the spot and puts his free forearm out as he drives through the increasingly ornery crowd like the charging Rhino. His toga becoming rags in all the action. He keeps low but also keeps lookout for both Prime and Smokescreen's positions. Megatron's fists rest on his hips, his face a mask of intense frustration. Why didn't he just hold this event at the Liberation Arch? Next time he will. Stupid Quintessons, stupid Autobots, stupid Omega Supreme. Curse them all, destroyers and usurpers! "The Liberation Arch for a certainty," he mutters to himself in conclusion. Galvatron swats the smoke away from his optics as he attempts to get a clear sight. Why didn't he just hold this event at Liberation Arch? Slowly, the smoke disipates. Liberation Arch is much nicer and doens't have any Guardian Robots nearby. And they might at least get some use out of it after rebuilding the stupid thing. "Next time!" he hisses, clenching a fist. "Next time we will use the arch and bring /gazebos/" As a few gumbies in the pile of pulsating pile of Decepticons get whacked away by Americon, the whole mass starts to rise up, a couple of Kickbacks tumbling off of the top as it does so Rodimus' head appears, jaw set into an extreme grimace as he starts pushing himself up to his feet. "Nnnngh!" Jets cling to his arms; tanks cling to his legs and Kickbacks quiver on his back. "Almost... up..." Rodimus squins his optics, shivers... CRASH! He disappears again, covered in quirming Decepticons like some kind of Decepticon Dominion after party. "I got this!" Smokescreen says- and he speeds towards the pile-o gumbies- at which point he braces himself, and just *PLOWS!* into the bunch at a good 80 miles per hour. "Sorry, I'm a terrible driver!" he says by way of explaination- got to follow the rules, after all. Here's to hoping he's knocked enough out to give Rodimus some breathing room! Ramjet continues to laugh as Saggitarion takes the goblet from him. "Hahahaha.. hahahah. Oh Sagittarion. I have something to tell you, my friend. My old, wise friend." A pair of hands reach out to rest on his shoulders as he continues to laugh, "Hahahahah. Hahahaha. Hah. Hah.." Looking up to Sagittarion, the guise of drunken joviality drops instantly. Ramjet is serious -- his brow narrowed, optics squinted, and lips pressed into a hateful sneer. The hands on his shoulders dig into the plating, keeping him from moving. "I'll show you /MALFORMED/.." Ramjet howls, yanking down on Sagittarion's shoulders to bring his face right to his densely-plated forehead. Megatron clutches the rod in his fist, feeling its weight. Perhaps if he... hmm, like a spear... no, that would count as a 'weapon' for the purposes of the truce and then he and Galvatron would end up going at it with shock maces again. On the other hand... heck, nobody ELSE is doing anything about the Autobots. He'll just lie about it later. Megatron switches the rod from his left to his right arm, cocks it back... Megatron strikes Keeper with Makeshift Impalement. ...and hurls it with Olympic accuracy over the heads of the Decepticons and Autobots alike to send it plunging into the Autobot carrying the Quintesson. "Oops," says Megatron. "I slipped." The Quintesson starts to slap gunge-covered tentacles across Keeper's chest and face as it garbles out words from each face at once. "Saaaave me Cybertronian, and all the stars will be yours. An army of Sharkticons, your own Cityformer, a harem of slave-femmes, all for you!" Americon puts on a look of fierce determination as he clings stubbornly to a gumby Insecticon's antenna. "From hell's heart," he grates, thwacking his stick one-handed into the back of an unfortunate Seeker. "With every ounce of my American PRIDE--" THWACK THWACK! "I stab at thee, pinata! DIE!" "Hnnn" Galvatron emits, his arms folded as he stands beside Megatron, watching the rod impale Keeper. "A support beam, no doubt. Such shoddy construction work. It would not surprise me if more support beams started to fall." He too hefts a rod in his arms, optics narrowing... As the squabbling and scrabbling for the Autobots gets louder and louder amongst the toga-covered Decepticons, there is a rumble in the air, as if a storm is coming. But... Cybertron doesn't have any weather, does it?
* THOOM! THOOM! THOOM!* Over the towers of the city, rises another tower, grey and orange. Only... it isn't a tower. It's a robot. "NOISE LEVELS - UNACCEPTABLE!" thunders Omega Supreme as his gigantic form slowly moves towards the gathering, casting everyone in a huge shadow. "BALL GAMES - FORBIDDEN!" The pile of Decepticons goes flying in every which direction when Smokescreen careens into them -- and Rodimus is no exception! Tumbling head over heels, Rodimus lands on his aft with the sound of metal banging against metal. "Ngh," he grunts, rubbing his helmet. "/Thanks/ Smokescreen," he says, perhaps less than sincerely. "It's about *time*," Rodimus says upon seeing Omega Supreme, throwing his hands up in the air. "CHEESE IT! THE FUZZ!" Fusillade shrieks out, before transforming and in the process shredding her clothing. Fusillade retreats from the area swiftly, outdistancing all pursuit and parting shots. Keeper grunts to the talkative Quintesson, "Okay." He isn't really paying it mind, just using that old security guard tactic of placating a troublesome customer with what they want to hear.... or is he? :p And then he's caught in the back by... something. He lets out a sickened grunt of extreme discomfort and is slowed down, his path of charge alters to swerve to the left, the path of least resistance or thinnest concentration of Decepticons... and then The Guardian rises forth... and declares the rules. He comes to a stop obediently, still protectively clutching Piniatacus under his arm. Keeper doesn't bother trying to grope behind his back for whatever is lodged inside him. He merely stands still. Megatron is lucky to have lips instead of a faceplate, because this means he can whistle as he turns away and looks off into the middle distance as he saunters away, clearly just a bystander here. "Decepticons, retreat to the afterparty!" he shouts as he hurries out of sight. Megatron begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Space-Going B-1R Lancer, Scavenger, Rodimus Prime, Shockwave, Redshift, Galvatron. Smokescreen pops back up into robot mode- though a bit of his hobo-Bluestreak disguise begins to flake off- just a quickie paintjob, honestly. "Spoilsport." he mutters- though he does smile a bit at seeing Omega Supreme tromp up. Shockwave hears Omega's approach, THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! Upon hearing the retreat order he does not bother wasting any more time in this place. The purple cyclops leaps up transforming into his space-gun mode and follows his retreating comrades. Shockwave begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Space-Going B-1R Lancer, Redshift, Galvatron. Decepticon gumbies scatter in all directions as the 5-0 arrives. Galvatron too screams out the "DECEPTICONS - RETREAT!" cry, attempting to be louder than Megatron, as he transforms into his surprisingly fast cannon mode, and tank-treads squealing, the circular device of doom skids cannon-first into a backstreet Galvatron begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Megatron, Space-Going B-1R Lancer, Scavenger, Rodimus Prime, Space-Gun , Redshift. Redshift was here the whole time, he was just busy, um... not doing anything. Right. But, it's time ot high-tail it outta here, so he takes off too! He doesn't bother to transform, instead relying on his higher-than average robot mode speed to take him to safety. Redshift begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Space-Going B-1R Lancer, Space-Gun . Rodimus Prime carefully watches two Decepticon leaders retreating at once, taking note of their different styles of running away. Ramjet pushes Sagittarion to the ground after bashing him. Once the call to retreat is made, he is certain not to be the last one out! Transforming, Ramjet positions his engines behind him and blasts away. Ramjet begins retreating, leaving himself vulnerable to parting shots from Space-Going B-1R Lancer. Americon peeks under his blindfold, and realizes that he has been beating on another Decepticon, and that, for some reason, other Decepticons are scattered around him in every direction like discarded refuse. He hops off of his victim, and, staring up at Omega Supreme, he crosses his optics at the huge Guardian. "We will settle this LATER! For now, watch as I inflict imaginable suffering on that hobo!" Spitefully, he spins the beating stick over his head before he tosses it, still spinning, at Smokescreen's legs, trying to trip him up. "Haha, IN AMERICA!" he cries and transforms into bird mode, blasting away on his rockets. Omega Supreme looms higher and higher as he gets nearer, smashing his way through to the square. His gigantic gun-arm starts to glow brightly as he looks down impassively, aiming it at the Autobot leader. "NO PETS - ALLOWED!" he thunders. "BREACH OF THE PEACE - CIVIL DISRUPTION - SENTENCE - TWO VORNS" Megatron's technique of running away is a classic, which involves jogging and then jumping into the air and flying off as soon as he's out of sight. Rodimus Prime's optics blink in surprise as Omega Supreme levels his giant blaster at him of all people. He looks from side to side, making a "COME ON!" face, trying to garner some sympathy from anyone who might be watching. "Omega, the Decepticons were the ones that brought the Quintesson here. Surely /ritual sacrifice/ is against Crystal City's ordinances!" Keeper calls up to Omega Supreme, "Sir! I site the law log section Gamma-Gamma-74 for legal presidense. The case of the people versus Grilltorque. This was the same circumstance, sir!" Keeper reads a lot on rules and codes and laws and proceedures. He knows his exhaust. "Seriously, you're not gonna side with THEM, are ya?" Smokey points at the retreating 'cons, and then just *peers* up at Omega Supreme. Honestly. some people just don't 'get' it. Omega Supreme continues to monitor Rodimus as the others bolt like naughty schoolchildren, leaving him to take the blame. "ALL MISCONDUCTS WILL BE DEALT WITH!" he booms in response to Prime's remark. But at Keeper's response, the gigantic mechanoid falls silent. And then his claw hand points outward. "GO!" he roars. But his cannon points at Prime again. "SALE OF CONSUMABLES WITHOUT LICENSE. SENTENCE - ONE VORN" Rodimus Prime folds his arms over his chest. "I didn't actually sell anything. It was a /disguise/. You know. /Robots in disguise/?" Reinforced White F-15 Eagle may have wrangled the Quintesson pinata here.. but he conveniently forgot to wrangle a high-grade liquor license for the festivities. Keeper looks to Prime. "Sorry, sir. I can't help you with that offence." He then starts calmly walking away with the Quintesson as ordered by the Guardian. "Yeah. He ran outta kebabs before he could turn a profit!" Smokescreen says, 'helpfully.' Rodimus Prime looks pointedly at Smokescreen. "There /weren't/ any kebabs." He lifts his head, looking back up at the Guardian robot. "No kebabs, Omega! The kebabs were a lie!" "VILCRONIANS - SPECIAL REFUGEE STATUS!" Omega booms, his attention still on Prime. "IMPERSONATING REFUGEE - SENTENCE ONE POINT TWO VORNS" Rodimus Prime shakes his head. "No way. I never /said/ I was a Vilnacronian." He frowns, disappointed. "Now you're just being racist, Omega Supreme. /All/ Vilnacronians don't sell cyber-kebabs. You should know better." He shakes his head, trying to play the guilt card. "He never SAID he was a Vilicronian, either!" Smokescreen crosses his arms across his chest, and shakes his head. Honestly, who makes up these rules anyway? Scrapper comes back right at the wrong time. "It's Omega Supreme! He's come to devour us all!" Scrapper immediately breaks ranks and runs away as fast as he can, nearly tripping several dozen times in his mad attempt to flee. If only he had his brothers with him... then they could all run away together! It'd be like a bonding moment for them. If there is one think that will upset a gigantic guardian robot, it is accusations of racism. Slowly, a single tear rolling down his huge visor, Omega Supreme departs as silently as he arrived. ie very loudly indeed. Rodimus Prime doesn't look guilty in the slightest. "It's what he gets for selling out," he mutters. "C'mon, Smokescreen. Let's transform -- and /roll out/!" Smokescreen nods to Rodimus. "Roger that, boss." And off he goes! Scavenger Sees Scrapper running and tries to keep up "Omega? Wait for me!" and hes out as quickly as he was there.
- New York City was a city full of filth, crime and corruption, far from a shining beacon of hope and democracy. John McClane was a first year police recruit in training, doing routine work during the city's Bicentennial celebration. In the course of his civic duty and stopping petty crimes, John finds himself stuck in what may be the first of many wrong-place wrong-time situations. He is instrumental in thwarting a plot to hold a yacht and its passengers hostage by a disenchanted former employee of the ships owner. It is in this episode that McClane earns his shield.
- Independence Day is an ADWSS special. It aired on July 4th, as it was an Independence Day-themed episode. In this episode, SpongeBob sets up a 4th of July party at the Krusty Krab, but Plankton traps all the customers! SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs have to free them!
- Aliens landen auf der Erde und wollen sie unterwerfen, doch die Menschen wehren sich.
- Independence Day, more commonly known as the Fourth of July, was a national independence ritual that was celebrated in the United States of America on Earth, and commemorated the adoption of the Declaration of Independence from the United Kingdom on July 4th, 1776. The day was typically celebrated with gunpowder-based firework displays across the country. Captain Erika Hernandez was reminded of Fourth of July fireworks seen in her youth while witnessing the destruction of a cargo ship near Alpha Centauri in 2155. (ENT novel: Kobayashi Maru) During his debriefing about the USS Enterprise's mission to the galactic edge on Starbase 33 in late 2265, Captain James T. Kirk remarked to Admiral Saylor and Captain Francis Damion, that Gary Mitchell and Elizabeth Dehner had "lit up like sparklers on the Fourth of July" when the ship encountered the galactic barrier. Not being native to Earth, Saylor was unfamiliar with the expression and the reference was explained by Captain Damion. (TOS - My Brother's Keeper novel: Constitution)
- According to RiffTrax.com: "In every single one of the 900 million aliens-come-to-earth movies that had come before it the aliens were malevolent, bent on man's destruction, but Independence Day changed all that. Yes, the alien's were once again malevolent, but this time Judd Hirsch was in the movie! Never before had this even been dreamt of, putting Judd Hirsch in a film. It was a brazen move, one almost as stunning as casting Bill Pullman as the president of the United States as opposed to taking the obvious path and casting him as a guy at a Rapid Oil Change who says, "Ahead. Little more. Little more. Okay, stop." And never before in screen history had a person named "Vivica" done anything let alone attempt to act credibly in a movie role. Not only that, Independence Day dares to feature one of the most ineffective inspirational speeches since those delivered in a bunker in Berlin in late April 1945." [1]
- Independence Day is a 1996 movie by Roland Emmerich, known in its promotional material as ID4. At its core it is a straightforward Alien Invasion movie with a lot of elements taken from well known sources like The War of the Worlds. The archetypical Summer Blockbuster with a large cast of familiar character types, Stuff Blowing Up, fighter jets dogfighting alien craft, Rousing Speeches, Area 51 and is otherwise fairly by-the-book storywise. President Whitmore (Bill Pullman) is the recently elected U.S. President when a massive (one-fourth the size of the moon) spaceship enters the orbit of Earth. Sending out smaller (city-size) ships that scatter across the globe to all the major cities, it doesn't take long before they begin firing their Wave Motion Guns to wipe out entire cities at a time. Humans fight back, with U. S. Marine pilot Steven Hiller (Will Smith) and computer programmer David Levinson (uh... Jeff Goldblum) pulling together a Plan to save the human race. The film's success also kicked off a revival of the Disaster Movie in mid-to-late 90s. The influence of this film can be seen even today, with Roland Emmerich himself repeating a similar formula in his later films like Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow and Two Thousand Twelve. Not one, but two, sequels are planned. The first, Independence Day: Resurgence, will be released on 2016.
- Independence Day was a popular movie made on Earth about an alien invasion. During a briefing with Senator Robert Kinsey, Dr. Daniel Jackson made fun of the climax of the film involving uploading a Computer virus into the mothership. (SG1: "Politics")
- In diesem Wikia geht es um den Film Independence Day.
- july murica
- Independence Day, War of the Worlds but with more CGI, is a movie about the second American Revolution and the birth of the "new" United States. The main plot is an attempted alien, British, and Cambodian takeover of the United States, which ultimately fails, because God likes America more. The movie received countless bad reviews from critics, but did reasonably well at the box office, almost (but not quite) making a profit, due in large part to its "eye-popping" special effects. The movie was not overly patriotic in any way.
- Independence Day is a 1997 video game based on the movie of the same name. It was released in 1997 for the PlayStation, PC, Sega Saturn, and Mobile.
- Independence Day is a science fiction adventure movie directed by Roland Emmerich and was released in 1996.
- The film was scheduled for release on July 3, 1996, but due to its high level of anticipation, many theaters began showing it on the evening of July 2, 1996, the same day the story of the film begins. The film's combined domestic and international box office gross is $816,969,268, which at one point was the second-highest worldwide gross of all-time. It was at the forefront of the large-scale disaster film and science fiction resurgences of the mid-to-late-1990s. It won the Academy Award for Best Visual Effects, and was also nominated for Best Sound Mixing.
- Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, picnics, baseball games, and various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States, but is often also viewed as simply a summer festival, apart from its patriotic overtones.
- "Independence Day" was the 58th episode of The Dead Zone and the second episode of the fifth season, airing on USA Network on 25 June 2006.
- The Eriaduan Independence Day or the Day of Eriaduan Independence was the day on which the entire Eriaduan Empire celebrated their breaking away from the new Galactic Empire.
- Independence Day is a holiday celebrated in Bikini Bottom. It marks the anniversary of the day that Bikini Bottom gained independence from Bikini Top.
- Independence Day var en populär film gjord på Jorden om en utomjordisk invasion. Under ett informationsmöte med Senator Robert Kinsey, Doktor Daniel Jackson gjorde narr av klimax av filmen där upp ett datavirus i moderskeppet. (SG1: "Politics")
- Independence Day, more commonly referred to as the Fourth of July, is a national holiday celebrating America's adoption of the Declaration of Independence on that day, and the subsequent break from England. The holiday is traditionally celebrated with fireworks, barbecues, patriotic pageantry, and screenings of such films as 1776. Patriotic icons such as George Washington, Uncle Sam, and the Statue of Liberty enjoy a resurgence during the holiday.
- Título original: Independence Day Ano de produção: 1996 Elenco: Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum.
- American Independence Day, also known as the 4th of July, commemorates the supposed date on which the American Founding Fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, thus marking the day on which the United States of America gained independence from Britain. Its celebration continues in the Dead Zone, despite the collapse of the U.S. government during the zombie outbreak, with American survivors and zombies dressing up for the occasion.
- Independence Day is a fanfiction written and published on FanFiction.Net by CelcoLevi.
- Independence Day ist ein Roman von Peter Darvill-Evans und erschien als 36. Buch der BBC Past Doctor Adventures-Reihe. Im Mittelpunkt stehen der Siebte Doctor und seine Begleiterin Ace. Bisher ist das Buch nur in Englischer Sprachausgabe erschienen.
- Independence Day is the ninth episode of the singleplayer campaign of Battlefield Hardline. The group returns to Miami where their plan is put to the test.
- Independence Day is a pinball machine produced by Sega. It is based on the motion picture of the same name.
- NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Happy Independence Day, everybody! Let's celebrate by reviewing Independence... NC: DAAAAAAH! God, I hate this movie. I hate it so much; and yet, I always find out that I'm part of a small minority on this. NC (voiceover): I mean, granted, it was a critical flop, and when this movie first came out, I was excited to see shit blow up. But after you get past the explosions, there is nothing creative or original about this movie. It's just human stereotypes trying to fight off alien stereotypes; nothing more. NC: But so many people keep telling me, "Oh, it's a popcorn movie! Can't you just have fun?" Well, let me tell you something; a water slide is fun. (An image of an outdoor waterslide is shown) All the slipping and sliding, it's just great. But if someone took you off the waterslide, shook you, gave you a noogie and then spat in your face and put you back on the water slide, you'd be like... "That wasn't fun; that was weird and annoying." And THAT'S this movie! So, let's celebrate Independence Day with... Independence Day. NC (vo): So we start off with a bright flash, as we see something hovering over the moon. NC (vo): Boy, this is like the opening shot from that other sci-fi movie. What was it called again? Oh, yeah, Suburban Commando. NC (vo): Another bright flash appears as we cut to the Extraterrestrial Intelligence Institute, who are just NOW noticing that the spaceship is approaching Earth. I guess it was just hiding behind the moon the whole time. NC (vo): Cut to another stinkin' flash as we're suddenly in Washington, where we see our president, played by Bill Pullman... Dark Helmet (from Spaceballs): LONE STAR! NC (vo): ... who is not happy about his slipping polls. Woman on TV: That's the problem; they elected a warrior, and they got a wimp. NC: Ah, it's the Obama Administration. (guitar riff plays, as Critic holds up his arm) But ya know, ya know. President Whitmore (Pullman): [picks up phone] Yes? Could... you say that again? NC (vo): Cut to a... NC (vo): GODDAMNIT, would you knock it off with those bright flashes? Your movie isn't a fucking magic show! NC: Watch, everybody, as I magically switch locations! NC: WOO-LOOK-I'M-IN-A-DIFFERENT-LOCATION-OOO!!! NC (vo): Here we see two people playing chess, and...yeah, there's really no point in prolonging this anymore. NC: Cast, step forward and state your stereotype: Judd Hirsch: I'm Judd Hirsch; I'm the Jewish stereotype.*
* (He says Judge Hirsch instead. Note: He makes this error known in his Top 11 Next F*ck Ups list) Robert Loggia: I'm Robert Loggia; I'm the gruff, military stereotype. Randy Quaid: I'm Randy Quaid, and I'm the Redneck stereotype. Brent Spiner: I'm Brent Spiner, and I'm the geeky stereotype. Harvey Fierstein: I'm that-guy-from-Mrs. Doubtfire, and I'm the gay stereotype! Harry Connick Jr.: I'm Harry Connick Jr, and I'm the annoying-best-friend stereotype. Jeff Goldblum: I am Jeff Goldblum, and I am in-of-myself, uh, a stereotype. NC (vo): So with a cast like that, how CAN'T an alien race be tempted to wipe out all that Earth has to offer, as they send out their giant, mechanical sand-dollars to cover the globe. We see the alien ships slowly touch down on Earth. Bright Flash appears, cutting to progressively closer shots of the White House NC (vo): I swear to God, if I see another flash, I'm gonna shove this movie up Roland Emmerich's dickhole! Whitmore: I don't wanna add to a public hysteria that's gonna cost lives. General William Grey (Loggia): And what happens if they do become hostile? NC: Okay, big cliche, big cliche, come on, come on, come on! Big cliche, big cliche, come on, come on, come ooooooon!!! Whitmore: Then God help us. NC: Yeah! NC (vo): So we cut to Randy Quaid, who's a drunk, redneck pilot who actually claims to have been abducted by aliens before. Man Sitting With Russell: Russ... when they took you up in their spaceship, did they do any... sexual things? Do you recall, do you recollect? NC: (imitating Russell) I don't need this; if I wanted to be laughed at, I'd go back to Hollywood. NC (vo): So the aliens arrive, and place themselves conveniently over America's most famous monuments. But that doesn't stop our other main character, Will Smith, getting jiggy with it on his girlfriend, Vivica A. Fox. Steven Hiller (Smith): Whatchu been doin out there? Steven's Son: Shooting da aliens. Steven: Oh, you shooting aliens, right? Oh, you think you tough, huh? NC: Must resist "Men in Black" joke. Must resist "Men in Black" joke! NC (vo): And I have to admit, this is the only character who doesn't suck. Not because of the writing or anything, but because it's fucking Will Smith; the King of Cool, he can make anything sound awesome. He's, like, the most charming man alive! NC: I don't even know what it is, there's just something about...him... NC: (slaps self) BOOBS, YOU LIKE BOOBS! NC (vo): But seriously, he can make anything sound good. Look at this very basic scene and listen to how he makes it so cool. Jasmine (Fox): Uh-uh, come on, now, you can't go, you got to call them back! Steven: I'm not gonna do this with you, Jasmine. Jasmine: But you said you was on leave for the 4th! Steven: Look, why are you actin' like this? Jasmine: Why? (opens curtains and points outside) That's why. Bimbettes (from Beauty and the Beast): What's wrong with her? She's crazy! He's gorgeous... Steven: I really don't think they flew 90 billion light-years to come down here and start a fight. NC (vo): Look at this bit. The line is, "You're not as charming as you think you are", and Will Smith just says, "Yes, I am". What a terrible line! Who the hell would write that? But when you listen to him say it... Jasmine: But you're not as charming as you think you are, sir. Steven: Yes, I am. NC (vo): But more important things are going on, like how our government, with all their scientific technology, discovers that the alien ships are using our own satellites against us, sending out a signal that will eventually run out and probably mean an attack. Oh, wait... no, sorry, this was figured out by one cable repairman whose job is to make sure that your HBO is coming in clear. NC: (sarcastically) FBI, TV maintenance, they're both pretty similar. David Levinson (Goldblum): It's like in chess. First, you strategically position the pieces, and then, when the timing's right, you...strike. They're positioning themselves all over the world and in approximately 6 hours, the signal's gonna disappear and the countdown's gonna be over. Marty Gilbert (Fierstein): And then what? David: Checkmate. NC (vo): Good Lord, Jeff Goldblum can make just about anything overdramatic, can't he? Even in a scene that is overdramatic, he makes it even more overdramatic. How is it Jeff Goldblum can turn anything into a melodrama? NC: (imitating Jeff Goldblum) Ah, yes, I would like to, uh, return this taco, uh, to you, because there was, (stuttering) no sauce on it, and as we all know, when there is no sauce on the taco, you'll realize that, it is not spicy and, (more stuttering) b-but if it is not spicy, well, then you all know that means, uh, uh, uh, uh- (camera zooms in on his face) Checkmate. (dramatic music sting) Marty: Oh, my God! I gotta call my brother. I'd better call my housekeeper, I gotta call my lawyer! Nah, forget my lawyer. NC (vo): (mocking Fierstein) I gotta call Disney and let them know I won't be able to do Mulan 5! NC (vo): (normal) So Jeff Goldblum and his father head to the White House to try and warn them. Julius Levinson (Hirsch): So tell me something, how you're so smart, how come you spend 8 years in MIT to become a cable repairman? David: Dad, look, it doesn't... Julius: All I'm saying is that they've got people to handle these things, Dave. (Goldblum and Hirsch prepare to argue about the flow of traffic and the way Hirsch's character is driving) Julius: Look at this, look at these people, vultures, they take and then they go. David: They're going, they're going faster then we are, look at this, you're in the fast lane. Julius: I can't go faster, they're cutting me off here. David: No one's cutting you off, you're gonna get a ticket. Julius: They’re getting in front of me. I can’t go any faster. NC: (mocks their arguing) I can out-Jew you. I can out-Jew you! I can out-Jew you. I can out-Jew you! I can out-Jew you. No, I can out-Jew you! NC (voiceover): So Randy Quaid tries his best to get his family away from the aliens. We got a son who’s ashamed of his father, his daughter who’s a complete slut, and a third one who’s…the third one. But enough of that. We see Will Smith and his friend, Harry Connick, Jr., as it seems Will has been turned down again to join NASA. Jimmy Wilder (Connick, Jr.): Man, you know I really like Jasmine. You know that, right? Now, you never gonna get to fly the space shuttle if you marry a stripper. NC (voiceover): That’s right, his fiancé’s a stripper, and because of that, I guess NASA doesn’t think he’ll be mentally sound. You know, because the space program has produced some real examples of mental health in the past few years, haven’t they? (A mugshot of a drugged-up Lisa Nowak is shown briefly) So Goldblum and his father finally get to the White House. NC (voiceover): (as David) Aw, goddamn Tea Partyers. NC (voiceover): (normal) But it’s okay. They have a way inside. How? Well, it turns out Goldblum HAPPENS to have an ex-wife who works for the White House. Isn’t that a happy little coincidence? Julius: I would never believe in my lifetime that I would be in the White House. Look at this. If I knew I was going to meet the President, I would have worn a tie. I mean, look at me. I look like a schlemiel. NC: (mocks Julius) Schlemiel, goyim, bar mitzvah, did I mention I’m Jewish?! NC (voiceover): So he (David) convinces the President that they have less than a half hour until Booms-ville. So they get the President out as one helicopter tries to make contact with the ship. Pilot #1: Welcome Wagon has commenced. Governor Tarkin (from “Star Wars”): You may fire when ready. NC (voiceover): Meanwhile, the President’s wife, who's at another location, is told to evacuate as well. Anchorman (on TV): And our prayers go out to the wives and children of those brave pilots. Indeed, God help us all. NC (voiceover): Really? The newscaster just said “God help us all”? Isn’t that the equivalent of saying… NC: (holds up sheets of paper pretending to be a newscaster) “A hurricane was spotted on the Eastern Coast." PANIC! (He spins around in his chair and continues shouting) PANIC! PANIC! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” (He collapses face first on his desk) NC (voiceover): So the ships finally start to open up as Goldblum sees the clock has ticked its last seconds. (The timer on David’s computer has reached zero) David: Time’s up. Alf (voiced by NC): Oh, hey, uh, push that button over there, would you? Alien (voiced by NC): Oh, oh, yeah. (He pushes a button on a command center) Hmm. (Back to the movie, the ship in Los Angeles destroys the U.S. Bank Tower) NC (voiceover): So the Earth is on fire as Will Smith’s fiancé rushes for cover. (Jasmine runs from the incoming fireball in a freeway tunnel while carrying her son and finds a workman’s shed, kicking it down to hide in) NC (voiceover): Yeah, hide there! The explosion will never get to look for you there. Jasmine: (calls out) Boomer! NC: (sarcastically) Yes, what about Boomer?! NC (voiceover): Dude, lady, you have a kid with you. Fuck the dog and just close the damn door! (Boomer hops across several cars and makes it into the shed in the nick of time) NC (voiceover): Luckily, the explosion’s too polite to enter through an open door, so I guess they’ll be safe after all. (The film cuts to black with a caption saying "July 3") NC (voiceover): So July 3rd hits as we look over the aftermath the aliens have left behind. (Fade in on the destruction of New York City, which includes the Statue of Liberty lying face first on the water’s surface) George Taylor (from 1968’s “Planet of the Apes”): (audio) You maniacs! You blew it up! (Cut to the interior of President Whitmore’s plane as he and Constance Spano (David's ex-wife) converse) President Whitmore: That’s the advantage of being a fighter pilot. In the Gulf War, we knew what we had to do. NC (voiceover): Aw, hey, look on the bright side. It could have been an oil spill. So Vivica and her kid are shocked to find that “Duck and Cover” shit really works, as they grab a truck and start looking for survivors. NC: Yeah, but…did Boomer make it OK? Announcer: (speaks the following accompanying text, which is placed below Boomer and heavenly music plays in the background) Boomer will live. (NC squeals for joy as he holds his arms up high) NC (voiceover): Meanwhile, Will Smith and the rest of the fighter pilots head out to kick some alien ass. Jimmy: Let’s bring that bad boy home, Captain! Steven: You loose? Jimmy: Yes, sir. Steven: You got your victory dance? Jimmy: (pulls out a cigar) Well, I got it right heeere, yeah! NC (voiceover): Oh, wow. You are so dead. (Cut to Steven and Jimmy conversing while flying their respective jets) Jimmy: As the good reverend would say…(imitates Jesse Jackson) “Why we’re on this particular mission, we’ll never know. (NC pretends to be emotionally moved and shakes his head lightly with a smile) But I do know, here today, that the Black Knights will emerge victorious once again.” Pilot #2: Amen, man. Steven: Amen, Reverend. NC (voiceover): (as Jimmy) Hey, you know what else I love? Living. I love living. I hope to do a lot of living while I’m still alive. I’m just so lively! Wouldn’t it be a great tragic irony if I was to NOT be living? Wouldn’t that be the most dramatic contrast that only a B-movie that somehow got a bajillion dollar budget would put together? God, I love being alive! Alive! Steven: Lock and load! (Steven and the other pilots start firing at the ship) NC (voiceover): But unfortunately, the ship has some sort of refreshing mint shield as the alien pilots come out to kill the fighters. Jimmy: I got you covered, Big Daddy. (He fires at an alien pilot, yet it also has the same protective green shield) Damn, they got shields, too! Steven: Let’s get low, let’s get fast. Jimmy: I got you, Big Daddy. Let's get them. Peppy Hare (from the “Star Fox” video game): Do a barrel roll! NC (voiceover): Oh, and here’s a big shocker—(speaks quickly) are you ready for this? This is like a big shocker, holy smokes, you’re not gonna believe this, I mean, it’s just incredible, are you ready? Are you ready? Sit down, it’s really incredible, are you ready?—the best friend dies! Steven: JIMMY! (Jimmy’s plane is hit, killing him) Steven: JIMMY, NOOOO! Stan (from “South Park”): (dubbed by NC) Oh, my God, they killed Jimmy! Kyle (from “South Park”): (dubbed by NC) You bastards! NC (voiceover): So one of the alien pilots chases Will Smith through the desert, where they perform some stunts that quite frankly would be too silly for the “Hot Shots” movies to pull off. (Steven flies through a very narrow crevice (to which the alien pilot does successfully); the alien pilot fires but misses and hits a canyon structure, making it topple to the side) Steven: Whoa, low bridge! (He flies under the falling canyon structure) (Intercut with a Looney Tunes clip of Wile. E. Coyote pulling out a tiny umbrella as a canyon boulder falls on him) Steven: See if you can fly that thing undercover. (He pulls on an emergency lever to launch himself out of the jet; the parachute flying out of the jet covers the windows on the alien pilot’s spacecraft) NC: (as the alien pilot) Ahhh! A sheet! A sheet! NC (voiceover): (still as the alien pilot) All my advanced scientific technology, and I’m defeated by a SHEEEEET! (The alien pilot’s spacecraft lands in the desert; after landing to safety, Steven opens up the jet door to look inside; the alien pops out) NC (voiceover): (as the alien pilot in a deep voice) All of your base are belong to us. (Steven punches the alien) Ow. Steven: Welcome to Earth. (Getting comfortable, he pulls out the casing of a cigar that he had placed in his mouth) Now that’s what I call a close encounter. (The music for the end credits to “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” plays in the background as the credits “Co-Producers Benny Medina and Jeff Pollack” are shown briefly; fade to black before returning to the movie) NC (voiceover): But meanwhile, the President and his men try to figure out what they’re going to do next. Julius: It was, what, in the 19-what-50s, whatever, you, you had that, uh, spaceship? NC: Oh, God, you’re not… Julius: Roswell! Roswell, New Mexico! Yeah! No, you had the spaceship and you had the bodies! NC: You’re not really going that direction, are you? Julius: Area 51, right? Area 51! President Whitmore: Regardless of what you may have read in the tabloids, there have never been any spacecraft recovered by our government. NC: (exhales) Oh, good! You know, for a second, I really thought you’d be stupid enough to— Secretary Nimziki: That’s not entirely accurate. NC: (beat) You know, I’ll believe it when I see— (The scene immediately shows an alien fighter craft underground at Area 51) NC (voiceover): D’OOH, I DON’T BELIEVE IT! You’re actually saying that Area 51 really was an alien and that you never brought it to anyone’s attention while the ships were landing? NC: (sits back in his chair while an “Independence Day” movie poster moves along the bottom of the screen from camera right) Stand back! He’s gonna go for it! He’s gonna go for it! He’s gonna go for it! He’s gonna go for it! (The poster goes over a picture of the shark from “Jaws”) Oooh, he jumped the shark! NC (voiceover): So we see Brent Spiner—also known as Data from “Star Trek”—as the head scientist. Dr. Brackish Okun (Spiner): Since these guys started showing up, all the little gizmos inside turned on. (He laughs) NC (voiceover): Actually, I’m confused. (He puts up a photo of Lieutenant Data and pairs it up with Okun for a brief comparison) Which of these two characters wasn’t human again? Oh, well, who cares? We have more implausible meet-ups to combine! Oh, let’s see, what should we do here? I know! Let’s see Vivica A. Fox coincidentally runs into the First Lady, and Will Smith coincidentally runs into Randy Quaid, who coincidentally runs into the secret base, which coincidentally has the President in it. NC: Well, that’s all fine and good, but…(grows concerned) did Boomer make it out OK? Announcer: (speaks the following accompanying text, which is placed below Boomer and heavenly music plays in the background) Boomer will live. (NC squeals for joy as he holds his arms up high) NC (voiceover): So they decide to perform an operation on the alien to see what’s inside. (Long pause) Uh, hey, uh, here’s a crazy idea: Um, why don’t you have some security around? I mean, you know these aliens want to kill you. Say something went wrong. (The following scene happens as he speaks) I mean, what if, for some crazy reason, you didn’t give him (the alien) anesthetic, he wakes up, he makes some ear-piercing sound, knocks out all the power, kills the doctors and uses the body of one of them to communicate with other people? NC: I mean, I’m just saying. NC (voiceover): So the alien tries to do some mind-zapper-thing with the President as the security FINALLY takes the alien out. Meanwhile, Will Smith decides that he wants to steal a helicopter to look for his fiancé. Security Guard: (aims his pistol at Steven) What the hell are you doing?! Get outta there! Steven: Look, I got something I got to handle. I’m just borrowing it. Security Guard: No, you’re not, sir. Steven: You really want to shoot me? (NC adds a twinkle to Steven’s right eye before the guard puts his pistol down) NC (voiceover): Damn that Will Smith charm. Next time, I gotta try that. Just go up to a military helicopter and be, like, “Hey! I need this. There’s something I gotta do.” I mean, I never thought just to ask; it’s practically foolproof! And—wouldn’t you know it?—in the middle of the night, without any signals, without any clue of her location, he just happens to stumble across her (Jasmine)! Jasmine: You’re late. Steven: Well, you know I like to make an entrance. NC (voiceover): (as an announcer speaking the following accompanying text) This moment brought to you by The Laws of Improbability. NC (voiceover): (normal) So they reunite the President with his wife, but unfortunately, she’s bleeding internally and can’t be fixed. (The scene continues in a somber tone as President Whitmore leaves the room to grieve to himself) Sheesh, I felt like we barely knew her. (Beat) That’s because we did barely know her. Even if we didn't have 13 OTHER characters in this movie, we would feel bad that this person dies! Patricia (Whitmore’s daughter): Is Mommy sleeping now? President Whitmore: Yeah. Mommy’s sleeping. (Patricia looks down in sadness before Whitmore picks her up to hug her) NC (voiceover): (as Whitmore) Oh, no. This is giving me an emotion. (sobs once) Must…not…act. (sobs again) Must…not…act! (Fade to black before the title card “July 4” appears) Oh, good, I made it to the next credit. NC (voiceover): (normal) But the President isn’t the only one having problems. A drunken Jeff Goldblum screams in anger and seeks the aid of his father. Julius: Everyone loses faith at some point in their life. David, even myself. I haven’t spoken to God since your mother died. NC (voiceover): (as David) Mother’s dead? Julius: You still have your health. NC (voiceover): But Goldblum suddenly gets an idea: to get the alien mother ship a virus. Because now this TV repairman can not only find signals that the government’s top men can’t find, but apparently can also hack alien technology while only being aware of it for one day. NC: (looks skyward as though in prayer while a Gregorian chant is heard in the background) By God, Jeff Goldblum. Is there anything you can’t do? (Cut to a Photoshopped image of Jesus Christ with Goldblum’s face superimposed over Jesus) Jesus/Goldblum: No. (Back to the movie) NC (voiceover): But still, they need a pilot to fly that alien ship. Who are they gonna get? Steven: I’ve seen these things in action, and I’m well aware of their maneuvering capabilities. With your permission, General, I’d like the opportunity to try. NC: (as President Whitmore) Yes. Let that man fly that ship—(looks off-screen) What’s that? His fiancé’s a stripper? (Looks back at the camera) Bring him back, bring him back. We can’t allow that, nope. NC (voiceover): So Smith and his fiancé finally get married right before they head up to infect the mothership. An alien race that wipes out Earth but is killed by our viruses? (scoffs before speaking sarcastically) Whoever heard of such a thing? (An image for the record cover to “The Complete War of the Worlds” is shown as NC coughs to cover up what he says next) A jerkoff! (Back to the movie) So as they (Steven and David) head off into space, our President gets ready to make the biggest speech for the trailer. President Whitmore: The Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice, we will not go quietly into the night! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! (All the fighters cheer on) NC (voiceover): Boy, thank God this all went down on Independence Day. I mean, can you imagine what would happen if this took place on a lesser holiday? NC: (pretends to give a speech with his hand as a “speaker”) Today…on Talk Like a Pirate Day…we celebrate our right to talk like pirates! And we will show… Voice (off-screen): Hey, come on, be authentic! NC: (sulks before resuming to speak like a pirate) We will show them scurvy dogs who’s boss! Who’s with me? Say “Arrrgh!” Off-screen Voices: Arrrgh! NC (voiceover): And just when you think this movie couldn’t get any more silly clichés… General Grey: Mr. President, I’d sure like to know what you’re doing. President Whitmore: I’m a combat pilot, Will. I belong in the air. NC (voiceover): That’s right. The President of the free world is flying up in the air with the other fighter pilots. (Cut to NC with the “Independence Day” movie poster launching high above him while the “Jaws” shark appears below him) NC: (looks skyward) Wow! It jumped the shark so high, it’s near the orbit! NC (voiceover): Yeah, sure, let him fly with the other fighter pilots. I mean…it’s just the President! It’s not like he’ll be needed for anything else. It’s not like there’s any choice decisions that a democracy chose him to make! Just let him have his fun. Oh, well, fuck it. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum fly into the mothership to implant the virus. (Beat) Now, this raises another question. An alien spaceship from the 1950s isn’t gonna cause any suspicion from the other aliens? Over 40 years of technological advancements must have happened over that time, and they just blend in like one of the other ships? Does one of the main aliens just think he knows who the alien is in there? (As Steven and David’s ship approaches the main control center of the mother ship, an alien manages some controls to lock Steven and David’s ship in place; while the following dialogue from NC occurs, David prepares to activate the virus) NC (voiceover): (as the control center alien) Stephanie? Stephanie, is that you? Oh, my God! I haven’t seen you or your ship since the 1950s! Tell me, how is your Aunt Flo? That…that is the reason why you said you’d be away for a while, right? St-Stephanie? (Cut back to Earth with all the fighter pilots flying together, including the President) President Whitmore: We have visual. General Grey: Do not engage until we have confirmed… NC (voiceover): So the fighter pilots—led by the President, trying to seal his next campaign poster—fire their missiles at the ship who should have their shields down by now. (Whitmore has fired his missile at the ship, but the ship’s green protection shield is still active) Whitmore: (to himself) God. (Cut to footage of Kang and Kodos (from “The Simpsons”) laughing maniacally before returning to the movie) Whitmore: Hold on, Command. I want another shot at it. (He fires again, this time successfully hitting the ship after the shields are down) (A clip from “The Simpsons” is shown with Kang quivering in fear and NC dubbing over him, providing the appropriate noise; Back to the movie, all the pilots launch their missiles in unison, successfully striking at the ship before alien pilots appear to start attacking) NC (voiceover): (as the alien pilots) Eat laser Tic Tacs! Whitmore: Evasive maneuvers! (Cut back to the mothership with the virus being uploaded) NC (voiceover): (as the control center alien) Stephanie? W-Why aren’t you talking to me? Is it because I slept with your eight million sisters? Look, they came onto me, OK? (The alien presses a button to automatically open the covers to the glass shield of Steven and David’s ship) I—Oh, wait a minute. It’s because you want me to see your pretty face, isn’t it? (Steven and David notice the opening covers and immediately hide behind their seats) Let me just open up the window here so I can see your eyes one more—Stephanie, were you always invisible? (Cut back to the attack on Earth with the ship opening itself up) Whitmore: Eagle 1, Fox 2. (He fires a missile at the ship’s opening, but misses) NC (voiceover): Aww, maybe you should’ve let a professional pilot fly. Whitmore: (calls out to notify the other pilots) Doesn’t anyone have any missiles left? Russell: Sorry I’m late, Mr. President. (Russell Casse's plane flies in through a cloud of smoke) Whitmore: Pilot, you armed? Russell: Armed and ready, sir. Soldier #1: Who is that guy? General Grey: Put him on speaker. NC: (as General Grey) Who is that brave lone American that we all underestimate? Russell: It’s me, Russell Casse, sir. NC (voiceover): But his missile gets jammed as he decides to do the noble thing and sacrifice his life for the world. Russell: (as he flies into the center of the ship’s opening, which is about ready to fire its weapon) I’m baaaaack! (Russell’s suicide mission creates a chain reaction in destroying the alien ship) NC (voiceover): Really? So, all this advanced scientific weaponry and the answer was the equivalent of a cartoon character putting his finger in a gun? I guess cartoon logic saves the day. General Grey: Get out the wire to every squadron around the world. Tell ‘em how to bring those sons of bitches down. NC (voiceover): (as General Grey) Tell them to get all the drunk, suicidal redneck pilots they can find! (The spaceship crashes to the ground as it continues to burn; cut back to the mothership with Steven and David still in hiding) NC (voiceover): (as the control center alien) Stephanie, you can’t hide from our love. I really thought we had something there. I felt a connection, something…cosmic, if you will. David: Ready? Steven: Yes, sir. (Both come out of hiding to greet the control center alien) David: Hey, alright! Steven: (waves) Hey! NC (voiceover): (as the control center alien) Stephanie? Did you do something to your hair? Steven: Peace! (He launches a missile at the control center) NC (voiceover): (as the control center alien) PLUTO’S BALLS!! David: We’re loose. Can you get us out of here in 30 seconds? NC (voiceover): So they get themselves loose, they fly through the ship of dried up dog turds, and Goldblum delights in ripping off “Jurassic Park.” David: Must go faster, must go faster. (Steven and David’s ship flies out of the mothership before it would close in on them; cut to the destroyed control center with the alien still conscious) NC (voiceover): (as the control center alien) Hey, you know what? I’m beginning to think that wasn’t Stephanie— (A nuclear bomb attached to the missile explodes, causing the entire mothership to be destroyed) NC (voiceover): So all the other ships are taken down, Goldblum and Smith get home safe, and the President is declared a hero. (Cut to Patricia running up to hug her father in the middle of a cheering crowd) NC (voiceover): (as Patricia) Daddy, did you save the day? (as Whitmore) Actually, no. A drunk redneck pilot did. (as Patricia) Well, at least Mommy is still alive. (as Whitmore) Yeah, we’ll have to have a talk later. (Cut to debris from the mothership falling across the sky like fireworks as the film fades to black, ending the film) NC: So they all live happily ever after. (inhales through his nose deep before pounding his fists on his desk on each word) BUT WHAT ABOUT BOOMER?! Announcer: (speaks the following accompanying text, which is placed below Boomer and heavenly music plays in the background) Boomer will live. NC: (squeals for joy as he holds his arms up high before returning to speak normally) What a piece of shit. (Clips from the movie play out as NC speaks) NC (voiceover): I mean, granted, I did kind of like it as a kid, but as an adult, it’s just too corny and too clichéd. The characters are unbelievable cutouts, the story has about a bajillion plot holes, and…nope, I don’t need anything else. That’s enough to hate this movie. I will say this, though: the explosions are cool, the spaceships are cool, and Will Smith is cool. Is it one of the worst films I’ve ever reviewed? No, but it’s still bad. It’s really, really bad. (Movie posters for “2012,” “The Day After Tomorrow,” and 1998’s “Godzilla” are shown) And let’s face it: ever since, the director has been trying to make the same movie over and over and over. NC: And seeing how it’s already rumored that there’s gonna be an “Independence Day 2,” I have just one question for you: Whose side are you gonna be on, the humans or the aliens? (He quickly takes off his hat to put on a pair of toy alien antennas on his head) Nanu, nanu! I’m the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don’t have to! (He gets up to leave) THE END Channel Awesome Tagline—David: Checkmate. no
- Independence Day (also known by its promotional abbreviation ID4) was an advertised product, released in or before 1998. Part of a slogan used to promote this product was "we'll wish we were." A poster for Independence Day was located in an alley outside of Casey’s Bar & Grill, in Washington, D.C.. In 1998, Fox Mulder relieved himself underneath this poster. (The X-Files Movie) In reality, Independence Day is a science fiction film that was released in 1996. The true nature of this product is never revealed in The X-Files, however. In Independence Day, a man in a satellite call center, talking on a phone, says, "Yes, ma'am, I love the The X-Files too. I hope you get to see it." The movie's plot was about an alien invasion, and featured government conspiracies centered around Roswell and Area 51. Adam Baldwin had a major supporting role in the film.
- Independence Day ist ein auf einen Film basierendes Spiel für die PlaystaitionOne(o.a PSX), welches im Jahre 2007 vom Angry Video Game Nerd reviewed wurde. Es zeigte nur wenig Begeisterung, da dies für seine Zeit sehr schlechte Grafik besaß und alles sehr Konfus aufgebaut wurde. Ausserdem waren Gegner beinahe unmöglich zu treffen.
- Réalisation : Roland Emmerich. Origine : Etats-Unis (1996). Genre : Science-fiction. Durée : 2H20.
* Will Smith : Le capitaine Steven "Steve" Hiller
* Jeff Goldblum : David Levinson
* Bill Pullman : Le président Thomas J. Whitmore
* Margaret Colin : Constance "Connie" Spano
* Vivica A. Fox : Jasmine Dubrow
* Judd Hirsch : Julius Levinson
* Robert Loggia : Le général William M. Grey
* James Rebhorn : Le ministre Albert Nimziki
* Randy Quaid : Russell Casse
* Ross Bagley : Dylan Dubrow
* Mae Whitman : Patricia Whitmore
* Mary McDonnell : Marylin Whitmore
* James Duval : Miguel Casse
* Lisa Jakub : Alicia Casse
* Giuseppe Andrews : Troy Casse
* Harry Connick Jr : Le capitaine Jimmy Wilder
* Adam Baldwin : Le major Mitchell
* Harvey Fierstein : Marty Gilbert
* Brent Spiner : Dr Brakisch Okun
* Bill Smitrovich : Le lieutenant-colonel Watson Le 2 juillet, un télescope du programme SETI capte un mystérieux signal émanant d'un gigantesque OVNI qui s'est immobilisé en orbite lunaire. Peu après, des vaisseaux lenticulaires d'un diamètre d'environ 25 km pénètrent dans l'atmosphère terrestre et prennent position au-dessus des grandes mégalopoles mondiales. Alors que le président américain Thomas Whitmore s'interroge sur la conduite à tenir, l'analyste David Levinson parvient à décrypter le signal : il s'agit d'un compte à rebours. Levinson en informe sans délai Whitmore, qui décrète aussitôt l'évacuation générale. Mais il est trop tard : de chacun des vaisseaux surgit un rayon qui foudroie instantanément les villes. Le lendemain, ces dernières ne sont plus que ruines et désolation et le bilan des pertes humaines est extrêmement lourd. Avec les survivants, Whitmore décide d'organiser la riposte...
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